Chime In With Your Insight On A Hypothetical

a reply to: TrueBrit

Above and beyond, the whole package. This increases the scenario considerably. So, you created your own option. I think helping out this way is very fortunate for those who have the benefit of your generosity. Not everyone that needs help is local though. My parents lived 5 miles from me for 15 years. They were always very accommodating and helpful to us when we needed a helping hand and never with conditions, however, I more than made of for it in my own way by always being there for them when they needed me.

a reply to: searcherfortruth

I noticed "give them a couch to sleep on" is missing.

I've learnt the hard way how money lending can sour a relationship.

Also, once you start to lend a helping hand however much you do it's never enough.

It's amazed me how much some people are prepared to take from others.

It's hard to see your loved ones struggle but it's even harder to make clear that whatever help you offer is a one off.

If you really must do it be prepared to say 'goodbye' to your money and don't expect any gratitude. If it turns out that this attitude is wrong then you'll have a pleasant surprise which is far better than the usual disappointment.

originally posted by: searcherfortruth
So, some choices present themselves.

A) Do you wait for them to come to you and beg for a loan?

B) Do you reach out and offer a no strings attached helping hand (tax deductible)?

C) Do you offer to loan them money with an interest payment?

D) Do you ignore their plight altogether?

Everyone is not independently wealthy enough to just throw money at needy relatives and I get that. You have problems of your own. Now if these were jerks that have brought it upon themselves with poor behavior choices, you may be inclined to not enable them. They are not, for the purpose of this scenario.

You have the money and can afford to help, what say you members? What do you opt for? Do you have another option not listed above? If it is me in this situation and I am the one that can help, I answer B. I do not want them to have the added stress of paying it back, it will be a tax deductible gift with no strings attached.

"Charity is not taking more than your share, of anything!"
Then there is enough to go around.

And no one knows what they will do until the situation arises.
We all imagine that we kno0w what we'd do, but Reality is often different than our vanity...

a reply to: searcherfortruth

I'm going to answer with 53 years of life experience. And that is this: only loan/give what you feel you can live with if you never get it back. And thats truth! I also personally believe it is best to not do business with friends and family. Why? Because when business deals go south, as they sometimes do, then you don't have to have hard feelings towards people you may have to see on a regular basis. It sucks when cousin Timmy never paid back the $2,000 you loaned him for a car, and now you're expected to sit next to him at Thanksgiving dinner and pretend it never happened.

And heres another thing: you don't owe anyone anything! Maybe you got a big raise, maybe you received an inheritance...whatever.....you are not now obligated to start putting money into the many open hands that will show up (mainly relatives). And be prepared for people to be mad at you for not giving into their bullying. If you want to give, then do so. But it doesn't mean you have to give to everyone!

a reply to: Lynzer

The true act of giving is to do so without strings attached. To expect anything in return negates the purpose.