Funny food poems

My neighbor's little daughter has a book, "Silly Poems", which features a 'Food' chapter.
There are no authors listed for the poems, although it says a couple of them appeared in MAD magazine in the 1960s.

"Ode to the Ketchup Bottle"
When you tip the ketchup bottle,
A little comes out, then a lot'll.


"The Prune"
If I may quote President Taft
"The prune is wrinkled fore and aft".
Pity the prune, that misunderstood fruit.
It is simply a plum in an unpressed suit.


" Daddy’s Making Dinner"
Daddy's making dinner, I’ve seen it all before.
French fries black and burning, and meat loaf on the floor.

Daddy’s making dinner, the sugar bowl just broke.
Fido ate the gravy, the house has filled with smoke.

Daddy’s making dinner, but I’m not one to moan.
Soon he will surrender, and go pick up the phone.

Daddy made the dinner. Today’s my lucky day.
Dinner’s in the trash can. Pizza’s on the way!


"Buttered Peas"
You can talk of beef and spuds
While you're frocked in fancy duds
A-sittin' there as cozy as you please.
But when some heathen demon
In your stomach starts a-screamin'
Then you'll sell your bloomin' soul for buttered peas.

For it's peas, peas, peas.
They're enough to bring a blighter to his knees.
I'll give up those fryin' fishes
'Long as I've great heapin' dishes
Of those wonderful, delicious buttered peas!

And it's peas I live each day for.
Walk the road to Mandelay for.
To the God above I pray for buttered peas.


"Hello Deli"

Hi deli
This is Joe, deli
Would you please send up some nice corned beef on rye.
A box of ritz, deli
And some Schlitz, deli
Some chopped liver and a sliver of your apple pie.
Turkey legs, deli
Hardboiled eggs, deli
with tomatoes and potatos you french fry
Don't be late deli
I can't wait deli
Deli, without breakfast I will die!

The only food poem I know starts
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts...

Yours were at least cute.

a reply to: ColeYounger


Beans, beans, a magical fruit

The more you eat, the more you toot

The more you toot the better you feel

Beans, Beans for every meal

a reply to: ColeYounger

those where great..loved them..

a reply to: ColeYounger

Fish ‘n Chips - Food Of Life Poem by Mark R Slaughter

Oh how I crave for fish ‘n chips:
Our fine cuisine of world renown.
I dined on such a subtle dish
When QEII received her crown.

Oh how I need some fish ‘n chips;
I'll queue in pouring rain or snow!
What better way to warm my hands,
As soggy chips make fingers glow.

We Brits are famed for culinary finesse,
Like steak ‘n kidney pud no less;
Wondrous tripe; cottage pie;
Bangers and egg in lard to fry!

But fish ‘n chips - the crowning glory -
A dish to trounce the great kebab!
You think I care for chicken masala?
It's cod and chips that grow my flab.

Oh how I yearn for fish ‘n chips,
All poshly wrapped in the Daily Star,
Then caked and drowned in salt ‘n vinegar -
And stinking out my brand new car!

With some spice
Veggies are nice

I once met a "Getrude", but for some reason her name always reminded me of vegetables.
So, I used to whisper "My, Rhubarb" in her ear, by mistake.

But veggies are nice,
With some spice.