my rant about jail, lies, and saddness

I don't have any friends, so, I'm going to rant to you guys.

I just got out of jail. I have no record at all. It was for domestic violence against my boyfriend. When he drinks liquor, he is mean and only wants to fight. When he's sober, he's the best. He has done many things that I could of called the cops on him for but I didn't want him in trouble. He punched me once, threw things at me, destroyed my stuff including the garage door. So, on Sunday, when he's obviously drunk and getting angry I can't take it anymore! I grab his face weirdly trying to hurt him and there was a lot of pushing. I threw a lantern at his head and it cut his ear open. So, I get arrested.

While I was in jail I was scared and feeling so depressed. Then, I find out my boyfriend is a liar and that he tried to cheat on me. My brother and his house (he lives off the government) is apparently drug heaven. My brother occasionally ODs. He does pills, meth, and who knows what. I don't associate with him but my mom does. My boyfriend has been over there "just talking" as he told me. So in jail, my mom tells me that she knew before that he went there to get drugs and was trying to hook up with the girl meth bringer. I wanted to vomit. I figured she meant that he got pills because I know he has a history with them. However, even recently talked about how he doesn't do them anymore. I was really devastated by the girl part, though. We've been together almost 4 years and I trusted him so much. Like, this is all so unbelievable to me. The fact that he put me in jail is unbelievable. I just got back out of jail and my mom tells me that she saw him smoke meth at my brother's. This upsets me so much. I'm so scared for him and I am so sad to find out he's been lying to me and trying to talk to other girls. It's too crazy. I'm mad at my mom for waiting to tell me until this crap happened. How could she want me to be with someone like this?

I started a good job, one that I went to school for, a week ago. I was taking his truck because the car I use needs fixed. I was supposed to be there today but missed because of jail. I had someone call and let them know yesterday, though. I figured I'd probably be fired but apparently they still want me there. I'm so glad about that. I have a way to get there until the car gets fixed. If it wasn't for that, I don't know. I'd be in worse shape right now.

I am heartbroken. My best friend is a liar and cheater. Yet, I am going to miss him so much. I already do. Why can't people be honest?

Also, I know that I did the crime that I got arrested for but it bugs me because I don't think he should have gotten me in trouble when he's hurt me. I probably sound bad but I have to vent this somewhere. I'm so afraid of the future. This is going to be hard. All I can do is picture him becoming a meth head and being with other women. I can't stand the thoughts.

I'm out on a signature bond. The court made a temporary protection order so I can't even tell him that I know his dirty secrets now. That may be a good thing, though. He picked up some stuff from my house while I was incarcerated but still has a ton of stuff here. I had my mom call and leave him a message that he has to call before coming over because of the protection order. I go back to court on the 14th. I'm so scared that I'll have to do time. I hated jail! Also, I desperately need this job. I sent out a bunch of resumes and cover letters to places and they all only have his cell number on them.

What can I do? I think I want to feel numb. I hate this!

By the way, I am pretty straight-laced. I don't do drugs. I drink occasionally.

The courts should get you a lawyer. Listen to him / her!!! Do exactly what the courts ask you. Since you don't have a record maybe you can get this plead down and keep a clean record.

Then RUN!!!! As far away from that no good piece of $hit as your little feet will carry you. Use the job you just started to rebuild your life. It may not be easy BUT it will be yours.

Best of luck to you honey!!!!

a reply to: paperdoll

First and most importantly: so sorry to hear that. I get the feeling of betrayal and it's the worst. Cry, scream, get it out of your system.

Second, it's okay, you're fine, you got a home, a job, nothing relevant got lost.

Third, who does that sob you call boyfriend think he is? You put up with his sh!t when he was drunk, you mildly flip once, he gets you in jail turns around and tries to cheat on you in front of your mother?
How many kinds of stupid is this pillock? And meth!?
Get rid off his stuff, kick him out and move on!
Sure 4 years, you invested a lot in this relationship. Just be grateful he showed his true colours now and not after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids. Right?

Kick his ass and kick hard!

a reply to: paperdoll

Work hard, save your money then leave and never look back. You're in a position to build the life you want, don't waste it on people that hold you back.

a reply to: paperdoll

Some of the best advice I got from a teacher was that we have the power to change 2 things: our attitude, and our personal environment.

Do you realize the harmful environment around you yet? Are you ready to change your attitude towards it?

It sounds like a Jerry Springer ep sorry to say.

Lorena Bobbit comes to mind!


www.usmagazine.com...enis-in-1993-speaks-out-2015911

a reply to: paperdoll

Leave that home and that pathetic excuse of a man and find a crisis shelter ASAP! Go to your local church, they can likely direct you to the right resources.

Jail sucks, but you will continue to end up there if you stay in that environment. Domestic abuse cases will end up in the court of he or she who reports it first. If he continues to do this, you will continue to be arrested. Please leave, too many women end up with permanent consequences for refusing to remove themselves from such a dangerous environment.

a reply to: paperdoll

I'm very sorry to hear about the recent chaos in your life. I've been in abusive relationships before as well, and when there is alcohol or other substances involved, the person will likely never change their ways for the better.

You deserve better than that. And as other posters have said, you should definitely talk to an attorney and do as they tell you to. Being that it's a 1st offense, there is a very real possibility that they will give you a "deterred sentence" of some sort, where if you do your probation/community service/etc. they drop the charges.

WIshing you the best of luck - find people who will lift you up and encourage you, not drag you down. And don't lose hope

a reply to: paperdoll

This guy is lost. Clearly he has some major issues that he needs to work out without you. Because you cannot change him, only he can.

When things like this come to a boiling point in life, it happens for a reason. Being forced to go through this latest round of BS is life's way of bringing on big changes. But again, only YOU can change yourself.

YOU have to chalk up your experiences, take inventory and follow your gut. Advice is helpful, but ultimately you have all the answers inside.
So what do YOU feel is the appropriate next step towards creating a happier, more peaceful life?

Believe me dear, I've been through it all. Prison, drugs, courts, addictions, violence. And as sh*tty as it was, I wouldn't know the true depth of happiness unless I was shown exactly what it is not.

Wish you the best.

originally posted by: Martin75
The courts should get you a lawyer. Listen to him / her!!! Do exactly what the courts ask you. Since you don't have a record maybe you can get this plead down and keep a clean record.

Then RUN!!!! As far away from that no good piece of $hit as your little feet will carry you. Use the job you just started to rebuild your life. It may not be easy BUT it will be yours.

Best of luck to you honey!!!!

Thank you. I was told if I complete an anger management program, the charge will be sealed after a year. I'm going to do it. I'm just so worried about having to do more time when I go back to court.

originally posted by: Peeple
a reply to: paperdoll

First and most importantly: so sorry to hear that. I get the feeling of betrayal and it's the worst. Cry, scream, get it out of your system.

Second, it's okay, you're fine, you got a home, a job, nothing relevant got lost.

Third, who does that sob you call boyfriend think he is? You put up with his sh!t when he was drunk, you mildly flip once, he gets you in jail turns around and tries to cheat on you in front of your mother?
How many kinds of stupid is this pillock? And meth!?
Get rid off his stuff, kick him out and move on!
Sure 4 years, you invested a lot in this relationship. Just be grateful he showed his true colours now and not after 10 years of marriage and 2 kids. Right?

Kick his ass and kick hard!

I can't get rid of his stuff. He'd probably call the cops on me! I wasn't going to be allowed to come back here to my mom's if he was still claiming residence here (said the judge). He's at his mom's though so it's good. I just hope he doesn't randomly come over to get things. My back door doesn't lock so I'm nervous about that.

Yeah, I don't have any kids. What sucks is a lot of his true colors were beautiful but these new ones I see blot all that out I guess.

Thanks for the support!

Sorry to hear about your ordeal,, I went to jail for 3/half months for assault for helping my friend who was getting his ass kicked (not the best place to go) that was many years ago the first and only time, was enough for me.

If you have no other convictions then i dought You'll go to the big house, but don't know how you're justice system works,, possible community service? not sure.

Oh and get rid of him before he brings you down,, run for the hill's lol.

a reply to: paperdoll

It does, because above all things you want your partner to be trustworthy. That requires he is loyal.
Imagine a zombie apocalypse, this guy will push you towards them so he has time to escape.

a reply to: paperdoll

First let me say this. As a person I'm sorry you had to go through this. As a man, husband and father guys like him piss me off. My wife and I have been married 24 years this Oct. and I would give my life to protect her or my kids, and I feel EVERY man, boyfriend or husband should be that way.

That said, and I may get yelled at for this, but TURN YOUR BROTHER IN. I dumped my first wife of 7 years when I caught her smoking pot. I turned my brother in for being her dealer. He did 6 years and was pissed at for 5 of them. When he got out he hugged and thanked me for getting him out of the life. Of course my mother and father never spoke to me again. They both died a few years ago without ever coming to terms with it, and that was their choice. Mine was to save the life of my brother and ex-wife (mother of my kids) not to mention the lives of countless people he no longer sells drugs to. They may still use them, I don't know, but I know where they don't get them.

If you're wondering yes I have very strong feeling about drugs, and my parents not talking to me again was a price I was willing to pay. So I ask what is the life of your mother and brother worth to you. For me it was simple I firmly believe that any person who has ANYTHING to do with drugs, making them, selling them, or using them is a murderer. A little pot after work or a full on meth cook are all the same. You may not fire the gun but you sure as he'll load the bullets. I've heard a number of time I NEVER KILLED ANYONE IN MY LIFE. That may be true but has your dealer, or his supplier. The truth is that without the buyer you have no sellers and so no reason to kill people to protect their profits.

But again that's just me. In the mean time you sound like a decent young lady and don't deserve to be treated like that.

a reply to: paperdoll

Dump the idiot asap paperdoll , you sound quite a sensiale lass but that jerk will drag you down over time and with a meth habbit he is Mr wrong .

And getting you jailed that is not a man , more like a small spoiled child