Honey i'm hoooooome!!!!

After a long break from ATS and an attempt to leave the conspiracy world behind me(which failed miserably)
i'm back to my old habitat.

Here's what happened.
A while ago, i decided that i wanted to be "normal". No more conspiracies, aliens, strange dreams. I decided that i had to "grow up" and become like the people around me. Be part of the society. Go back to the Matrix.

The first step was to quit ATS. I got to keep my nerdy habits(coz that's cool now) and with the guidance of a "friend" i started my journey into the society norms. First thing i started a facebook account. Wasn't long before my friend list started growing. I accepted almost all friend requests and i blocked them soon after. Humans are weird and creepy. I was getting messages from people, who were not my friends, that they wanted to meet me and go out with me. I had someone stalking me online. My friend list included some of my favorite musicians that now i came to detest, because they are terrible people. I could rant for hours about fb, but i have to admit that i met 3-4 really nice people that i wouldn't have otherwise.
I'm telling you guys, facebook is a f*****d up place.
Anyways i was in a relationship, i was going out every weekend, i got to hung out with the "cool" people, i was involved in some special events(making videos and being in the tech support). People wanted to be around me and i started working for a music magazine.

How cool! Right?

NO

It wasn't long before my depression came back. It came to a point that i quit my job, neglected my health and i rarely left the house. I'm fighting with my demons right now and i try to get my life back on track. I was trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I had everything. And then it hit me(in the head...with a shovel)
This life is not for me. I cannot pretend that after seeing a strange dream, that it was just my subconscious. I cannot pretend that seeing a blinking light in the sky, although i know it's a plane, it doesn't make my heart go a bit faster for a moment. I was happy here. In our little doom and gloom world.
I missed you all and this time i'm here to stay.

a reply to: Phantom traveller

i decided that i wanted to be "normal"

welcome home

a reply to: kibric

Thank you. It's good to be back.

Welcome Back Phantom pull up a chair!

a reply to: awareness10

Thanks you

Welcome home, ATS, it's where we belong. After all these years I've never taken a break from this place.

Sometimes I'm way too busy/life gets in the way but for the most part, I'm here reading every night. I don't post much but ATS is my sanctuary, I'll never leave.

I did the fb thing when my son was in Iraq. It was a great way to communicate but after he came home, I didn't enjoy the fb experience at all.

A family member drew/posted an unflattering picture of one of our 4 yr old relatives, her stepdaughter, I was livid. Her point was to humiliate the child because of a fashion choice/hair style. I went off in her stupid face not on fb. I wanted to make her eat that pic but thought better of it.

She already has her hands full with 3 children of her own, not to mention her filthy house yet she somehow found the time to draw pics/post on fb, she even colored it. Reminded me of something hateful children do. For the sake of anger management, it's best I stay away from fb. LOL