What do friends do for us??????

This topic is inspired by the beliefs and statements made by others here on ATS the other night. I will spare those that made the statements the recognition. I don't have their consent to do so, so I won't make an example out of them. I expect them to do that themselves when they respond to this post.

They expressed that friends were over rated. I agree with them and I don't.

Friends are over rated in the sense that they are always there for you. That is the problem people seem to have with friends. They find out that their friends can't and or won't always be there for them. Why???

Well for many reasons. Too many to name here.

One of the main reasons friends are not all encompassing and helpful is because many people say things like this:

"That isn't your place."

Many people consider this to be some ordained dogma. The fact is that it is just more Satanic drivel. If one is willing to commit to a friendship with someone then one should be able to accept and or handle any thing that comes their way. Friendship has no limits. Many people will disagree with that assessment. Why???

Who knows. Maybe people think that companionship has it's boundries. I disagree. I think that that compainonship relates to hospitality. That is what true friendship to me is. Friendship is nothing more than collaberative hospitality between two entities. Therefore each friendship requires a sense of duty to the other in the services of good. So in a way it is nothing more than hospitality in the form of a relationship.

Because of this conjoined effort it would be silly to rule out certain traits or measures in relation to that hospitable ideal. Am I right or am I wrong????

To do so would be like feeding the poor but not giving them a means to eat what you gave them. In other words it is a half hearted effort. At least that is how I see it.

Many times in my life I had trouble listening to people preach this sinister dogma. I often would say:

"Well if it isn't my place, then who's is it???"

Most people could never respond to that answer cause they didn't know of any other way to reply to it.

What makes friendship so great is the fact that friends teach us things about life. Friends replace the goodness of your family relations and bring wider context to the establishment of social morals and relational concepts.

Yes, friends often cause us to lose sense of what real companionship is. That doesn't mean that friends are null. That only makes friends more meaningful. Ever hear of the term:

"No pain, no gain."???

That goes for friends too. If I didn't have stupid and ruthless relationships in the past I would have never made the friends I keep now. I say "keep" because we choose our friends. The choices we make in our social relationships will determine a lot in our lives. I learned this with much hardship and regret.

My parents used to warn me of my friends and tell me that they were not REAL friends. Every time I heard them say that I only insisted the exact opposite even more. That only made me more prone to the the abuse that my so-called friends dished out.

I had friends who would sell me out for a cheap high or even a cheap laugh. That wasn't that sinister to me as a child, but as I grew up it became more and more unaccpetable as a matured. That is what makes frienships so hard to keep. What is that???

That is the fact that we all mature at different times and in different ways. I had friends who seemed to dispise me more and more as they grew so as long as I continued to stay the same. One of those friends was my friend Ben. He was forced to grow up real quick because of the road he chose. He was like me at once. He goofed off and made jokes about life. Soon he became a computer nerd and the computer life lead him on his way. Eventually he would be arrested by the FBI for internet terrorism.

After a few years he changed a lot and he became somewhat of a preacher. He used to tell me that I shouldn't treat my mother the way I do even though she treats me even worse. (That all coming from a person who hated his 'mother'.) I say 'mother' because he was adopted and never knew his real mother.

He still spites his mother so but that didn't force him to treat her as she did him. He just realized that she was prone to this behavior and because of that he could say he was better than her. He simply let her live her life that way and continued to live his as he chose.

I was different. I had a mother who I deeply cared for and I fought with her because I loved her. I preached to her about her health and her lifestyle. That made me an enemy of my mother's. Because of that I suffered greatly. She and I are really stubborn and we don't give in with much ease. Only until I learned to take Ben's advice was I able to escape this torture.

I thank Ben for this but was never able to do so in person. Ben has since disappeared into the vastness of the unknown world we know. Where he may be at this time is beyond me. I regret this greatly. In time so will you.

For one day you will remember a friend you had such as this and you will wonder what the hell happened to you two. This I do a lot with many friends of mine. I do this in many ways. For not all friends are the same and each friendship we hold is unique and cannot ever be duplicated. Because of this friends can never be over rated. Why???

Because we learn something from each and everyone of them.


I can talk about this for hours so I will cease for now before I wash out this conversation.

Any thoughts on this????


Abraham

I owe everything to my friends. Without them, I would have no idea where I would be. My only wish is that they get the same thing from me.

I appreciate your ability to discuss relationships and emotions in a positive way. Not really a typical male characteristic is it?

Acid tests of real friendship for me:

* listening without judgment
* dropping everything to chip in when a friend is in crisis

Originally posted by MaskedAvatar
I appreciate your ability to discuss relationships and emotions in a positive way. Not really a typical male characteristic is it?

Acid tests of real friendship for me:

* listening without judgment
* dropping everything to chip in when a friend is in crisis

I would have to say that listening without judgement has got to be one of man's hardest tasks. In my opinion only God is capable of non-judgemental thought. We use judgement like a trait for suvival. Without it we as a race would be lacking our superiority over other creatures of this Earth. I wonder if Alien races are masters of this trait or if they are bound within it's traps as well.

Friends seem like they have the potential to a good thing in most cases, but I just don't see the the pros ever fully over powering the cons... Set you standerds low and you will never fully dissapointed...

Interesting initial point to raise, Abe-V (and, by gum, not bad prose).
Friends anchor such rules of conduct as we can aspire to; they make the void warmer; they make us reflect upon truth; and they let us at least savour love without too much fear. They are are surest way to any sort of self-esteem, and they are the least terrifying evidence against solipsism.

a friend is someone you hang out with and drink with.

a good friend is the one who drives you home from a party in which you got wasted like iraq a few weeks back

a true friend, will never let you down, always be loyal and stand by you in love and war. even take his own life to preserve yours even when inside he/she knows all is already lost.

people get lucky to have two true friends, i am honored to have three.

people, if you don't have somebody you can lose your stress to, then ya goin to snap

I'm lucky to have a best friend who I love as if she were my twin and a couple of friends who are like my sisters. of course, it took a very long time to find friends who I know would do anything for me and I'd do anything for them. I've definitely been stabbed in the back by friends in the past, but for all the bad that can come from opening yourself up to people, there's also a lot of good.

I have had a lot of changes in my friends in the past, like three weeks. I am a little bit younger than all of you, so it is still a little different than your experiences. For instance, I reaelized that I misjudged a lot of people (spubbles, you are one of them). I followed the crowd with what they thought of people. Then, I realized that I was following the crowd, and immediately thought (reflex) "something must be wrong, if so many people are doing something, that's just a good enough reason to not do it." So I kinda opened my eyes, and got to know the people that everyone else ignores. For example, the geeks, freaks, outcasts, and even some people "above" me on the "caste chart". Now I have acutally gotten to know them. I am friends with a bunch of people. I used to make fun of people (behind their back, never to their face), and now I think twice. I realize now that the person I may be talking about is depressed, or anorexic or something, and I might totally ruin their day. Also, a good friend told me how much talking and listening to her helped her out. I have lots of good friends, but not really a best friend that I tell everything to anymore. I kind have closed up. But I feel so free around my friends, I don't worry about who I am or what I appear to be to others.

Two of my closest friends have been brave enough to tell me how much they trust and love me. I am so much closer to them because of that. So don't be afraid to tell a friend how much they matter to you. Recognition is the best.
Someone said, (I 4get their name) "It's better to have people hate you for who you are than to have someone love you for who you're not"

Friends are something that everyone can have. It's just a matter of opening your eyes and seeing them.
~PeAcE