You young guys have it so easy

a reply to: ChuckNasty

I'm going for that right now. A car that's paid off, student loans that are nearly paid off,

originally posted by: GiulXainx
a reply to: ChuckNasty

I am actually happy that i did not take a dive into college yet.

Hearing that something so small as a house mortgage, and a student loan bill is that terrifyingly bad, it makes me laugh.

You should be laughing at him instead of trying to give him a piece of your mind. Psychologically if you laugh at his frugal attempts to make you feel inferior to him just laugh at them.

See if i were you in this case, even with all of the bs you put up with, i do this. If they are making a complaint about you, or about themselves. Or generally any complaint what so ever do this: in a baby cry voice say "wah." Make it sound like a baby cry. If they continue to complain about you or your work habbits #ing make that baby cry voice. You know what it does. It will lift your spirit above theirs. If they hit you that is grounds for lawsuit. If they start making personal attacks against you like saying you are a # person and you suck and it makes you want to punch someone? It is grounds for a law suit.

I hate to be that pundit in the corner telling you this but it is so effective to mimick a baby cry every time some makes a complaint. It is so effective that others will laugh along side you.

It has been so effective for me across so many jobs now i try to tell others this and they just crumble. They cant do it. So i myself grew a pair of balls so big that i use comical methods to mock others and their pitiful cries. I am quick about it too. As soon as they finish their sentence i add in a baby cry immediately. I am not a manager. But i might as well be one.

And one more thing. Just remind your boss to imagine you as a donkey who has too much # piled on top of it, yet it still moves forward. Even if it is just a square inch per hour. I use a lot of metaphors like that and suddenly i get a lot of respect for what i do. Even if i # up something they know i am going to trudge forward no matter what.

Quite possibly the best reply in this insanity. Thank you so much! All of us should read this one and take it to heart.

Also, we, I am included, are missing the fact I pointed out that the coworker was brushing aside the summer help's 80k that he's look at once he's done with college. I'm not just posting this for myself, I'm posting this on the fact that no one should be dismissive of others' problems. That includes me as well.

a reply to: network dude

I wish he would have given advice instead of just going about our versions of debt or problems, but it may have something to do with the fact that I do not hide the fact that financially I'm doing quite well. The money is already saved up. I don't use credit unless I actually have the money and count the debt I have as money I don't have in my own version of a checkbook.

I am actually really taking responsibility for myself, more and more. I want even more.

a reply to: strongfp

That really is a worse situation than mine. I'm glad it turned out well for you two.

a reply to: Parafitt

If working as much overtime as possible to allow me to drive to a beach 80-110 miles away to just walk the boards, read a book on the sand, have lunch and drive home makes me a spoiled brat? Then I am so spoiling myself. I'm already thinking about trying to get a second source of income. The worst thing in the world for me is not anything I've gone through so far but the one thing that probably most people would hate is have nothing to do, no work I mean. That's the worst on this world for me outside of a major injury, which could happen tomorrow.

a reply to: GemmyMcGemJew

No I don't, you just want to seem to be dismissive of others problems. And a problem reading apparently. I have said how many times now I am getting out of my situation?

you don`t see it now but your coworker did you a favor by letting you do things the wrong way.His rant about about how easy other people have it was totally out of place,i`m a firm believer in never judging someone unless you`ve walked a mile in their shoes.

a reply to: strongfp

I would tack on an airplane, no idea if it's what I'd like. But just to see the world from a different perspective. If I won the lottery, I'd take the annuity and put it away rather than go hog wild on spending.

a reply to: Tardacus

Like I said about not telling me till the end is something for another lifetime. That's a discussion of philosophical positions on education which probably all work for different people.

His little rant was off the clock, in other words. A private matter between two people on the street which I decided to turn into this.

And thank you all for posting in here, ranting is necessary some times. Even if you and I disagree bitterly.

a reply to: TrueBrit
I love reading your perspective and eloquence bestowed onto this site TrueBrit.

a reply to: misterhistory


OP... I hear ya, and I fully empathize with your situation. Rock on and just ignore the naysayers. They most likely have their own issues and cannot relate to yours.
You'll get there.

a reply to: misterhistory
Thankyou for posting what you suffer from. Gives me a beeter understanding to why you feel the way you do. Just for the record I don't belittle people With mental issues, it's normally not there fault.

GL in the future.

a reply to: misterhistory

1. It DOES sound like you have an insecure, abrasive, low insight, brittle, arrogant . . . jerk of a Dad. Sorry about that. No fun.

2. The odds are extremely low of him changing significantly.

3. You could resist his crap in an escalating sort of way but not very threatening way. However, he'd likely see anything crossing his whim of a will at the moment as a threat to his manhood.

4. Dr Marisa Peer has an escalating series of replies that can be helpful:

www.youtube.com...

1. "THANK YOU FOR SHARING THAT." All these have to be said in a very matter of fact neutral tone kind of like you might use to your sweet grandmother at Thanksgiving dinner saying "Please pass the butter, Grandma."

2. "WOULD YOU REPEAT THAT SLOWLY?" They will likely refuse or try and change it. Gently insist that they repeat exactly what they just said but more slowly. They MIGHT be a bit embarrassed to hear themselves say it again. Probably not your Dad but maybe.

3. "ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MYSELF?"

4. "THAT'S NOT GOING TO WORK BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING TO LET IT IN."

5. "DO YOU KNOW THAT CRITICAL PEOPLE HAVE THE MOST CRITICISM RESERVED FOR THEMSELVES? YOU ARE SHOWING ME AND OTHERS HOW DISSATISFIED YOU ARE WITH YOURSELF WHEN YOU BEHAVE LIKE THIS."

= = =

The 2nd or 3rd time, I MIGHT be brazen enough to tell him after saying #5--"And it's likely about to cost you your job."

6. However, you'd probably need to be ready to move out in a flash if he pulls rank and insists on your kowtowing to his craziness or else.

7. I do not think it is healthy for you nor even for him for you to continue to kowtow to his ragaholic thin skinned 2 year old fit throwing ways.

8. Another option is just to walk away--silently--or to say something like: "When you are ready to talk to me in a mutually respectful tone of voice, I'll be ready to listen."

9. His dad was likely as bad or worse.

10. Do something active about the source of your distress or refuse to let it get to you. He is responsible for his behaviors. You are responsible for your feelings and your responses to his crap.

Please let me know how it goes. It sounds like an excruciating situation to live in.

a reply to: GemmyMcGemJew

Okay, that's good to hear. All to often do I hear people make fun of mental disorders, and not for comedic effect.

In my case, I believe it is partly my fault. As I said earlier about mortgages being stressful but very stressful when you let it be...yeah, I had let things get to me in ways I should not have. That's probably where some of the mental breakdown came from last year and some to most of the generalized anxiety.

a reply to: BO XIAN

Wait, isn't that a condensed version of How to Stop Walking on Eggshells?

I kinda of pulled a bit of a slow wind up to pitching to my parents that I'll be moving out. Dropping subtle hints, later more not so subtle, Saturday I'll be telling them out right because I think they've got the hints and I've already looked at two houses.

In the case of my dad, he's most assuredly got PTSD. From what I understand, he was getting therapy for that. He stopped when the therapist retired, that was a long time ago, I don't even remember most of if anything from then. He could have been real nice during that time, but now he's pretty bad off and my mom does nothing but enable some of it.

The coworker, not so sure. I don't know if he has any kids but I believe he's been married multiple times and I don't know what's eating at him on a daily basis. I only know about the cars he has because he's driven them to special work functions. He's not usually going off about anything, though he's got plenty to when it comes to some of the things that others in our department and in production do.

Last night we had some break in the action (okay, a lot) and we're able to get a better look at what I was doing wrong with the task from the previous night.

I just don't like the fact he was dismissive of others' problems, I am guilty of doing such things as well and it's time I should be more cognizant of it. I realize now how wrong it is. If someone's worst experience in life is something minor compared to anything you've gone through, they are lucky but does not take from the fact it's hard on them at the time. Would be better to offer help rather than say it could be worse or that it's nothing compared to your problems.

a reply to: misterhistory

GOOD INSIGHTS.

Congrats.

Thanks.

You are way above average mature for your age, imho.

a reply to: BO XIAN

Are you sure about mature? I bought for about ~$700 two customized light sabers. Didn't even consider if there was even going to be a use for them...