A little note to one of the members that said they were 'scared of dying'

About a year ago give or take, I responded to a member that said they were incredibly scared of the thought of dying, a lot of fine people responded with comforting replies and I hope it helped, shortly after that post I went to the doctor and a blood test showed I was anemic.
A few tests later and they found a grapefruit-sized tumor in my large intestine that proved to be cancerous, the operation went well and an IV CT-Scan didn't show that it had moved but I was still losing blood so they put a camera down my throat (I was knocked out for this!) and the doctor told me he had an ultrasound attached to the camera and he found 3 ulcers but decided to swing over and look at my liver, her said he found a spot on it and took a biopsy and said it was stage 4 metastasized liver cancer, all this was different for me as the last time I was in the hospital is when I was born!
To ramble on those that know 'of me' on here might wonder why I haven't posted in about a year, well I lost my brother to Lukemia and 6 weeks later my sister died of a liver disease! On my Facebook (after my siblings deaths it was New Years 2015 and I posted "Well maybe this will be a better year!" a few weeks later I found out I had the tumor!)
They tell me my Labs (blood) looks great and after my chemo he will look again and if it has shrunk he will 'scoop' it out, if it didn't he said maybe radiation which I told him I will not do as a friend of ours had throat cancer and they hit it with radiation and destroyed his throat and he had to be fed through a tube in his stomach for several years before God took him!
My last Chemo is on Monday Feb 1st I will then know if I can continue to join all you great people on here or join David Bowie! LOL
Anyway, I don't feel sorry for myself and my only hope is I don't pass before my grandchildren (the oldest is only 5) is able to spend more time with me, My oldest is the 5 year old, he calls me "Papa" and says I am his best buddy! I have a granddaughter not even born yet so I would like to spend some time with her too!
So, I think God might keep me on this world long enough to have more fun with my grandkids, I pray that anyway!
I am an engineer and still working, I feel normal other than the chemo.
My wife doesn't like it when I kid like the other day I said "Well, I'm not a decorated WW2 hero like my dad was but could you put on my tombstone that I built the turning vanes for the space shuttles?" (my biggest contribution to the Aerospace Industry and NASA).
She said "STOP IT, don't joke like that!" but I think (and I am especially talking to the person that said they were afraid of dying) you should not dwell on it and if you are sick, do what you can to continue to live, if you don't I truly believe it was in the hands of the creator to call a soul home or continue to live if he feels others may need you for awhile.
Bless you all and I will continue to post with any updates.
-Phil

a reply to: wulff

you've had a rough time but you have a great attitude! hope this year is better for you!....glad you made a post and shared your positivity in the face of adversity......good health to you!

originally posted by: wulff
About a year ago give or take, I responded to a member that said they were incredibly scared of the thought of dying, a lot of fine people responded with comforting replies and I hope it helped, shortly after that post I went to the doctor and a blood test showed I was anemic.
A few tests later and they found a grapefruit-sized tumor in my large intestine that proved to be cancerous, the operation went well and an IV CT-Scan didn't show that it had moved but I was still losing blood so they put a camera down my throat (I was knocked out for this!) and the doctor told me he had an ultrasound attached to the camera and he found 3 ulcers but decided to swing over and look at my liver, her said he found a spot on it and took a biopsy and said it was stage 4 metastasized liver cancer, all this was different for me as the last time I was in the hospital is when I was born!
To ramble on those that know 'of me' on here might wonder why I haven't posted in about a year, well I lost my brother to Lukemia and 6 weeks later my sister died of a liver disease! On my Facebook (after my siblings deaths it was New Years 2015 and I posted "Well maybe this will be a better year!" a few weeks later I found out I had the tumor!)
They tell me my Labs (blood) looks great and after my chemo he will look again and if it has shrunk he will 'scoop' it out, if it didn't he said maybe radiation which I told him I will not do as a friend of ours had throat cancer and they hit it with radiation and destroyed his throat and he had to be fed through a tube in his stomach for several years before God took him!
My last Chemo is on Monday Feb 1st I will then know if I can continue to join all you great people on here or join David Bowie! LOL
Anyway, I don't feel sorry for myself and my only hope is I don't pass before my grandchildren (the oldest is only 5) is able to spend more time with me, My oldest is the 5 year old, he calls me "Papa" and says I am his best buddy! I have a granddaughter not even born yet so I would like to spend some time with her too!
So, I think God might keep me on this world long enough to have more fun with my grandkids, I pray that anyway!
I am an engineer and still working, I feel normal other than the chemo.
My wife doesn't like it when I kid like the other day I said "Well, I'm not a decorated WW2 hero like my dad was but could you put on my tombstone that I built the turning vanes for the space shuttles?" (my biggest contribution to the Aerospace Industry and NASA).
She said "STOP IT, don't joke like that!" but I think (and I am especially talking to the person that said they were afraid of dying) you should not dwell on it and if you are sick, do what you can to continue to live, if you don't I truly believe it was in the hands of the creator to call a soul home or continue to live if he feels others may need you for awhile.
Bless you all and I will continue to post with any updates.
-Phil

Sad to hear this, it always is. Perhaps the best thing I can say to you is go through the health forum and read anything that strikes you as interesting on nutrition and cancer. One of the best I watched was Edward G Griffen on cancer and the doco was about Vitamin B17 which we get from Apricot seeds. (ive stopped taking it now unitl I find a way to break the seeds up into small pieces as they taste terrible but apparently Vitamin B17 is something we are all short of.

There will be other things you can read that you might find interesting.

My brother in law died from pancreatic cancer and I have had some skin cancers removed but I do not donate money to cancer:

1) because none of the money goes into researching nutrition as a cause or as a treatment for cancer and;

2) because the money for cancer research is now crowd sourced but the patent will not be crowd owned. In other words the crowd is funding the research but the crowd is not going to own the patent. Itwill be owned by some big pharma who will then turn around the charge the crowd an arm and a leg for the drugs the crowd paid for.... talk about using and abusing.

a reply to: wulff

That brought a tear to my eye.

I have had two parents and a sister go this last year and a half, and my son is also going through chemo.

The oncologist said he'd have a five to ten percent chance of surviving five years but so far, after a year, the cancer is shrinking and he's fighting. He hates chemo, with another six rounds to go but still is moving forward.

Even if they put it into remission, his cancer comes from the bone and is likely to flare up every five years or so.

There's hope of a stem cell therapy which could put an end to it recurring, but so far he hasn't been selected for the trial. Maybe next time.

The truth is, any of us could go, at any time, we all have a finite time on Earth; but "It's better to light a candle than curse the darkness".

Live life purposely, extract every bit of joy, surround yourself with love.

When I look into my grandson's eyes, there's no concept of death; the world only holds wonder and very little sorrow.

For the sake of those that follow us, lets make this world just that little bit better, just because we can.

I sincerely hope and pray I will have the courage and good humor you do when I someday face my own mortality.

I wish you the best of luck and, hopefully, a speedy recovery. Let's hope you respond well to treatment and live for many more years happily with those grandkids.

Peace.

Well all things considered you seem to be facing this massive issue, with a great attitude and a sense of humour, which in my opinion you can't put a price on and will help you more than you can imagine. You have a lot to live for and every moment with your family and grand kids is precious. I would certainly ask your oncologist about side effects from radiotherapy. The technology of radiotherapy is always improving, lessening side effects and becoming more targeted. Trust your doctors, they are the experts and have been learning all their lives to increase survival rates in cancer patients. You still have a lot to live for and every minute is worth fighting for. I was going to give up earlier this year on medical treatment, but since that wobble I've had brain surgery and 2 months radiotherapy and will hopefully now be alive for the birth of my first nephew next month. Every second will have been worth fighting for. All these treatments are not pleasant, but if they buy you time they are worth it. I don't think there's anything more important than family so all time with them is precious.

I don't know you but from your post it sounds like you have the right attitude and will make the righ decisions and continue being the great grand pa you sound to be. I wish you all the best

originally posted by: wulff
About a year ago give or take, I responded to a member that said they were incredibly scared of the thought of dying, a lot of fine people responded with comforting replies and I hope it helped, shortly after that post I went to the doctor and a blood test showed I was anemic.
A few tests later and they found a grapefruit-sized tumor in my large intestine that proved to be cancerous, the operation went well and an IV CT-Scan didn't show that it had moved but I was still losing blood so they put a camera down my throat (I was knocked out for this!) and the doctor told me he had an ultrasound attached to the camera and he found 3 ulcers but decided to swing over and look at my liver, her said he found a spot on it and took a biopsy and said it was stage 4 metastasized liver cancer, all this was different for me as the last time I was in the hospital is when I was born!
To ramble on those that know 'of me' on here might wonder why I haven't posted in about a year, well I lost my brother to Lukemia and 6 weeks later my sister died of a liver disease! On my Facebook (after my siblings deaths it was New Years 2015 and I posted "Well maybe this will be a better year!" a few weeks later I found out I had the tumor!)
They tell me my Labs (blood) looks great and after my chemo he will look again and if it has shrunk he will 'scoop' it out, if it didn't he said maybe radiation which I told him I will not do as a friend of ours had throat cancer and they hit it with radiation and destroyed his throat and he had to be fed through a tube in his stomach for several years before God took him!
My last Chemo is on Monday Feb 1st I will then know if I can continue to join all you great people on here or join David Bowie! LOL
Anyway, I don't feel sorry for myself and my only hope is I don't pass before my grandchildren (the oldest is only 5) is able to spend more time with me, My oldest is the 5 year old, he calls me "Papa" and says I am his best buddy! I have a granddaughter not even born yet so I would like to spend some time with her too!
So, I think God might keep me on this world long enough to have more fun with my grandkids, I pray that anyway!
I am an engineer and still working, I feel normal other than the chemo.
My wife doesn't like it when I kid like the other day I said "Well, I'm not a decorated WW2 hero like my dad was but could you put on my tombstone that I built the turning vanes for the space shuttles?" (my biggest contribution to the Aerospace Industry and NASA).
She said "STOP IT, don't joke like that!" but I think (and I am especially talking to the person that said they were afraid of dying) you should not dwell on it and if you are sick, do what you can to continue to live, if you don't I truly believe it was in the hands of the creator to call a soul home or continue to live if he feels others may need you for awhile.
Bless you all and I will continue to post with any updates.
-Phil

Drive On or as we said in the Army 'FIDO'. I just wanted to comment on this subject. I have died twice. Literally had the state police call for body bags for me twice. I also had 23 major surgeries from being shot to car accidents. You, your spirit and consciousness DO NOT DIE and I don't care what some people with no experience try to say or justify with pseudoscience or anything else. It actually is a much better existence imho. No more pain, emotional or physical, and a connection to everything in existence. Knowledge beyond anything you could imagine as well. I have described my experiences before somewhat, but if you ever feel you need to talk to someone about it, feel free to U2U me and we can go from there.

I also have many challenges in my life, from the physical to the PTSD and memories from working in intelligence deep cover and the nasty jobs I have done. The experience of dying and realizing that your body is laying back on earth was shocking to realize, but in an instant not an issue any longer. Once you are past that point it is hard to want to come back or in my case being sent back for unfinished business. Almost all my family has already passed and it is difficult to stay here for me. However, it is rewarding to help those that perhaps suffer from the fear of death of their physical body and listening to people that have absolutely no clue or experience of death. And I am not talking about a light, flashing memories of your physical life and loved ones as that passes quickly if you even have the experience. Sure, there are physical throws of death that can be explained by brain death, but once you are past that and become aware of everything in existence and connected to the universal intelligence regardless how you want to define it, and learn new things not of anyone's experience, nor yours then you will absolutely know the truth. So, from an eternal friend, please do not fear your body death and what is to come for you as you will be absolutely fine.

a reply to: wulff

Good luck to you Phil - I hope you have a multitude of continuing opportunities to impart great experiences and love to your grandkids!

Thank you for sharing your story with us! You are an inspiration as are other members who posted in here! There are so many people facing one thing or another and it can easily be overwhelming to someone. The courage and strength and wisdom of the stories shared here gives hope to others. You people are like a candle in the dark, an Angel on earth helping to guide and inspire.

I wish you and the others facing similar things, much love!

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