Baddogma's Meta Cafe- Polite Discussions About Scientific Mysticism and General Weirdness

a reply to: Serdgiam

I always knew ego death was goofy..
I was going to die from the moment I was born.
no need to rush on that one.

But I did do something to my thoughts.. They seem gone haha.
I have been trying lately to make them come back just to see if I can.
So I'm purposefully saying things I'm doing in my head..

it's not doing anything so far. I'm still mostly in some constant state of observing happy, whatever..
I obviously think but when I'm not it's like not even movies lately. it's not anything concrete that I could point to, but it's not subconscious either because I'm using my full intelligence..

I just figured out today that's what happened to my sex drive.. Because I'm a nice guy I never let myself get too carried away with sexual thoughts for people I didn't know.. (that's after the 13-18 phase where I was rabid) Well today I decided like I said to use my thoughts, and I was like oh.. this isn't automatic anymore, that's why it's set to low or off.. If that's what I want in my life I'm going to have to make those thoughts and focus on it. So much easier before, when a slight breeze and a somewhat feminine lampshade had me going... I exaggerate, but only a little..


I sometimes wonder if it's bad or good..
Did I break my brain?
It makes it so I don't ever have stress. but urges don't appear either.. Even my alcoholism doesn't bring cravings anymore unless it's been a week or so.

Shouldn't I be able to turn it back on somehow?
Would I want to?

a reply to: Reverbs


Maybe you want to turn on the good parts and turn off the bad parts.

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
a reply to: Reverbs


Maybe you want to turn on the good parts and turn off the bad parts.

well, then one would wonder which are which?

you would be right of course, but I can't figure out how to turn on any of them.

a reply to: Reverbs

Went from "Townsend" to "Townshend"... so I guess the H is silent in this timeline!

Missed you 2 my brother!

a reply to: Mousygretchen

Hi MousyG!

😀

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF

you havn't been around so much.

I don't know if I even care what you say as far as what makes me smile, you just make me smile when you show up.

but I do like what you say. I think you seem the most like me, of the people here, which makes sense... because..

we're brothers.

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF



Hey dude

a reply to: Reverbs


Turn off the stressors, the things that make you tick..Drink responsibly. Always learn.
I can say personally that I find myself eating my emotions. I eat as a way to cope. I'm trying to break that.

a reply to: Mousygretchen

Gawd Teot AND Mousy? ? ?

two of my favorite ATSers..

What a lovely day today, or tonight I guess.

I just got off work I had to run a buffet for a wedding dinner rehearsal. It was really fun. the toasts were great. I got emotional at the sister of the brides toast, sharing like childhood memories that no one would normally hear when you are so close to a sibling..

I had to keep a straight face, and a lot of people made me smile and laugh, and everyone was so dressed up and nice, and it was at where they met, at UNC.. So we turned on the football field lights we were up on the 4th floor with a glass wall to the field.. but they also went out the doors into the stands to take more pictures..

And now you giys are both online too..

eeeee..

To you both...

Just got a new smartphone so will be around more!

And still figuring it out... and will be back around more often.

Peace out!

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
a reply to: Reverbs


Turn off the stressors, the things that make you tick..Drink responsibly. Always learn.

those are already in place
I can't remember my last stress.
Like tonight all the sudden head chef points at me and smiles, I'm like what, we get a truck in? someone forget to prep something? "You're going to a wedding rehearsal"
ME: "Hell yes"
instead of me: oh no what if I mess up, I have to cut up meat and serve people what if I drop the spoon, do I look ok?

NAh I'm like yea budddy this is what we're doing now.

I don't remember the last time I was stressed actually. IT must have been months ago.

best part of ARMY training by far...

"I can do anything!"

a reply to: Reverbs


squee I do charm the couple to be wed with many years of happiness together.


AND it wouldn't have been the same without you i'm sure.

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
a reply to: Reverbs


squee I do charm the couple to be wed with many years of happiness together.


AND it wouldn't have been the same without you i'm sure.

the brides mom even winked at me, and her dad was beyond pleased when I gave him super big helpings..
besides I broke my brain so I'm apparently always smiling.. When I used to work retail you'd have to pretend people were not dumb and smile anyway.. Now I'm just smiling.. I noticed I made everyone feel comfortable.

a reply to: Reverbs


lol that little voice might serve a purpose, but you have to keep him at bay, don't let it get to your confidence.

originally posted by: Mousygretchen
a reply to: Reverbs


lol that little voice might serve a purpose, but you have to keep him at bay, don't let it get to your confidence.

that's what I'm saying though..

I do not have that voice.

it's just me now. I'm running the whole show besides making my heart beat and other such things.

a reply to: Mousygretchen

And a super moon!

I heard he can turn lemonade into coke!
😀

Now if he can turn water into beer we are onto something!!

originally posted by: TEOTWAWKIAIFF
To you both...

Just got a new smartphone so will be around more!

And still figuring it out... and will be back around more often.

Peace out!

I'm glad to hear it.

LOL at your above post..

seriously hope I didn't startle the housemates with my laugh an then cough as I had the slightest bit of beer in the back as I read it.

a reply to: Reverbs


that's awesome..Atleast you weren't that guy who works retail and gives frowny face to everyone

a reply to: TEOTWAWKIAIFF


lol yeah I tried to think of something clever to say but it hasn't come up yet

a reply to: Mousygretchen

samezies