It's over, CRUSHED!

originally posted by: odinsway
a reply to: mblahnikluver
Sigh....why is there even a "looking for sypathy" category on this site?....go twitter or something.

Did you see the forum or can't you read? Why don't you go to Twitter!

Nobody is asking for sympathy Ffs. Where do uo people get this from?

What the hell, even if someone did need sympathy, or would appreciate a bit of compassion in what they are dealing with, so what????? Are we not human beings? Do we not have many people in this community who are like an extended family? Believe me, if one of you people ever need compassion, light and love in your life, you will get it here! And trust me, there will come a day. We all have our moments!

When my Father died and then just recently when my Mom died, I came to ATS and shared my grief. I knew people would be here for me and I appreciated the love and sympathy more than words could ever say!

a reply to: mblahnikluver

I know I shouldn't be shocked at the lack of sympathy and compassion that some people have, but I am. I couldn't imagine saying such things to someone after all they have been through. Sheesh!

a reply to: mblahnikluver
Try not to pay attention to it. Some people are just jerks and there's no help for them. Don't let them drag you down to their level. I know it's hard. Come and grieve all you want. You have friends here that are here for you. Take care.

My mother was never keen on my wife.

Distance helped (moving to a different city than my mother).

After 12 years of marriage though, she kind of has given up and accepted her though. I mean, a few more years, and we'll have outlasted her marriage to my dad...so......

originally posted by: schuyler
You may not like this, but....you're effectively soliciting sympathy here, and that's what you're getting. People are saying how sorry they are. Love yourself first, etc., all the noises that you would expect. How right you are. How wrong they are. It's kind of a co-dependency thing. And displaying your heart on a sleeve to ATS? Umm, this is not the real world and friendships here are somewhat illusory--they can vanish in a second. I've seen it happen to supposed "online communities" before. Basically, it's an easily-shattered illusion. "We" are not qualified therapists. You've painted these people as acting idiotically, and we are agreeing with you. Imagine that? More importantly, how valuable is it? You've set us up here to respond the way you want. If you really need help, seek it professionally. ATS, by and large, will agree with whatever you say.

But further, you're a grown-up. You've been married. Apparently you already have a child. You have grown-up responsibilities. Yet in your story everyone is acting like love-sick teenagers. Isn't it time for you to take a mature, more objective look at this behavior and adjust accordingly? If these other people continue to act like children, perhaps it's time to leave them be and maybe ask yourself why you are attracted to this kind of drama in the first place. It can't possibly be healthy for you.

I suspect I know what is going to happen next because we've been there before. I'm not going to check back and argue the points here. I'm just trying to get you to see this from a somewhat different perspective. Good luck.

Ive got a mother who hates the girl i like too,but ive grown up enough that when i get able to im going to date her regardless (also cause im a move away) Poin tis this Guy you liked needs to get away from his mother. It seems like she would like him to herself most likely.

a reply to: mblahnikluver

From experiences within my own family people will go to extraordinary lengths to maintain a sort of alternate reality. These alternate realities are maintained at the expense of relationships with people who genuinely care about them. You do have to walk away from the lunacy and time heals all wounds.

No matter what happens between you two. I think you should calmly tell him, in front of her, that he should cut his mother out of his DAILY life. Demand it, if you get back together. He can see her on Easter.