originally posted by: MagesticEsoteric
I certainly didn't intend for it to become a thread that would actually generate another thread that rants about what I was trying to communicate.
lol
So, for all of those I annoyed or bothered in anyway....no one made you click on this thread and no one made you respond.
That was your choice and one you had every right to do. But, I will not apologize for expressing how I was feeling at one particular point in my
existence.
No kidding! I felt a bit sour about that. So many times I wanted to rant about the stupidity of some of the thread topics I see on these boards
repeatedly but thought that would be reprimanded, and is at the least, socially innappropriate and a failure to exercise my freedom of choice.
Why have that freedom if one cannot handle the responsibility that goes with it?
There are forums I just do not even look into (like the religious ones). It's quite easy to do that. Problem solved.
The thing is, yeah, these times of feeling "somethings up" are sometimes personal but seem more global- they are sometimes products of personal
changes happening. I've seen the pattern in the past that my immediate world changes when I have "mystical" periods- like I will move to radically
different environment, start living very differently, or have very important relationships begin or end.
I thought it was "the world" that was coming to a shift, and it turned out to be "my world".
So be it. But in each case, daring to simply observe, acknowledge and express the visions, feelings and sensations I was having, as they were, was an
aid in making that transition effectively. A certain vision may be false, but there is still a reason for it.
Like once I was going through some of that stuff, and at one point, during a meditation, I had a voice tell me my father was going to die.
I wrote and talked about this event, wondering if that was symbolic (like my inner father, or super ego) or if I should consider a possible
premonition of a real exterior event. Eventually, my husband suggested I just go with it as if it was, just in case. I wrote a letter to my father,
telling him everything I would want him to know before passing- how much I loved and appreciated him (this was before we had a computer!
). I sent
it.
A week later, I got a call. My mother had suddenly and tragically died. She had died in front of my ten year old brother and in the arms of my father.
They were on vacation, and as they came home, my dad had decided to commit suicide. But upon arrival, he found my letter waiting for him.
He told me that it was that letter that convinced him to continue living- that his life and presence makes a difference in this world and people need
him. It was kind of more poignant because he is actually my stepfather, not my genetic father.
Anyway, my point is, I have come to think it is a good idea to listen to the weird feelings. They might be false, in a literal sense, but they might
have a reason for being
anyway.
This is where I will always object somewhat to the assertion that the rational and material is all that matters in life. The irrational is like a
different language, that our subconscious uses, to help us when the rational mind is unable to take off it's blinders.
And sometimes, different people are having a change in world happening at the same time, and I think it is great that they can kind of just
metaphorically touch hands during such moments and not feel alone faced with the irrational unknown.