Weaponry for Home Defence in the UK

originally posted by: nonspecific
a reply to: Soloprotocol

That's why I went for the cricket bat

Baseball bats are only ever used for cracking ribs and smashing knees round here whereas cricket bat and ball are fine and dandy.

But cricket bats aint as aerodynamic and a Baseball bat.

a reply to: nonspecific

Cricket bat would be no good for me, all a cop would have to do is ask me to explain the scoring of the game and I'd be #ed trying to make out I was ever gonna use it for sporting reasons.
No idea, boring game

a reply to: grainofsand

I never thought about that, maybe I should invest in a 2 piece pool cue and go at it ninja style.

The only problem with that is that I would be worried about breaking it.

I think I'll stick to my trusty claw hammer.

a cricket bat and 2.5 inch knive

unreal

we are an ocean away but further apart

cowboy up europe

a reply to: TheWonderkid

You really are failing to understand this aren't you.

What exactly do we need to defend ourselves against other than other cricket bats and small knives.

The UK population are on the whole less likely to kill you for little or no reason.

This topic has been done to death here and I think in the end we all agreed to disagree.

originally posted by: Soloprotocol

originally posted by: nonspecific
a reply to: Soloprotocol

That's why I went for the cricket bat

Baseball bats are only ever used for cracking ribs and smashing knees round here whereas cricket bat and ball are fine and dandy.

But cricket bats aint as aerodynamic and a Baseball bat.

What are you doing throwing it at them javalin style?

To be honest on the rare occasions it was needed the image of an angry bloke with a mohawk and a cricket bat was enough to settle the incident without the need for actual violence.

originally posted by: TheWonderkid
a cricket bat and 2.5 inch knive

unreal

we are an ocean away but further apart

cowboy up europe

Whatever fella, this thread is about home defence in the UK, I'm happy enough with my crossbow, and various other incidental weapons at my disposal at home.

The only circumstances I would ever be likely to face an intruder with a gun would be if I had been stealing drugs off local gangster types. Local gangster types who do not carry out low level crime such as home invasion/burglary.
Our burglars are pretty much all unarmed, and usually emaciated heroin addicts.
Crossbow, kitchen knife, baseball bat, wrecking bar, claw hammers, maglight etc etc are all fine for the average situation in the UK.

I'm glad I don't live in a country where skanky thieving drug addicts do not have easy access to guns.
Last thing on our minds here is a gun wielding thief entering our homes, must be horrible living in fear of such things when all your scum lowlifes can so easily obtain firearms.
No wonder y'all are so paranoid lol

originally posted by: grainofsand

originally posted by: TheWonderkid
a cricket bat and 2.5 inch knive

unreal

we are an ocean away but further apart

cowboy up europe

Whatever fella, this thread is about home defence in the UK, I'm happy enough with my crossbow, and various other incidental weapons at my disposal at home.

The only circumstances I would ever be likely to face an intruder with a gun would be if I had been stealing drugs off local gangster types. Local gangster types who do not carry out low level crime such as home invasion/burglary.
Our burglars are pretty much all unarmed, and usually emaciated heroin addicts.
Crossbow, kitchen knife, baseball bat, wrecking bar, claw hammers, maglight etc etc are all fine for the average situation in the UK.

I'm glad I don't live in a country where skanky thieving drug addicts do not have easy access to guns.
Last thing on our minds here is a gun wielding thief entering our homes, must be horrible living in fear of such things when all your scum lowlifes can so easily obtain firearms.
No wonder y'all are so paranoid lol

i guess its perspective. you euros view the alpha as frightened, i view him in the mirror.

originally posted by: boymonkey74
a reply to: bastion

I gotta ask what happened when you threw salt and/or put mustard up some assailants nose.
How did you get the mustard up the nose?.
Cos I would love to see that scenario.

Was in a pub in London visiting a mate - some 'roid head twice my weight walked up to the bar and shouted about how he was going to get hifsChelsea firm to beat up the owner (a mate who'd been in a scuffle with the guy a week earlier) - he was obviously full of # because he wasn't stepping to the bar so I got the salt shaker and put a load in my hands while he was busy ranting about how big and hard his mates were - flicked it in his eyes and yellow squirty mustard bottle up the nose while he was on the ground crying for his Mum. Another mate may or may not have put a placy bag over his head for a few minutes, but I'm blind in that eye.

Needless to say, he didn't come back - guy was a proper hard gangster, but he couldn't take a hit.

originally posted by: TheWonderkid
i guess its perspective. you euros view the alpha as frightened, i view him in the mirror.

Hahaha! Gutted you got banned, I could have found some amusement 'debating' this issue with your good self.

Alpha? What the guy with the firearm is the 'alpha' now?
Lol, I bet you piss your pants if you haven't got that firearm to keep you safe!
By your reasoning my 90 year old gran would be alpha if she had a gun, absolutely ridiculous.

originally posted by: bastion

originally posted by: boymonkey74
a reply to: bastion

I gotta ask what happened when you threw salt and/or put mustard up some assailants nose.
How did you get the mustard up the nose?.
Cos I would love to see that scenario.

Was in a pub in London visiting a mate - some 'roid head twice my weight walked up to the bar and shouted about how he was going to get hifsChelsea firm to beat up the owner (a mate who'd been in a scuffle with the guy a week earlier) - he was obviously full of # because he wasn't stepping to the bar so I got the salt shaker and put a load in my hands while he was busy ranting about how big and hard his mates were - flicked it in his eyes and yellow squirty mustard bottle up the nose while he was on the ground crying for his Mum. Another mate may or may not have put a placy bag over his head for a few minutes, but I'm blind in that eye.

Needless to say, he didn't come back - guy was a proper hard gangster, but he couldn't take a hit.

That's the funniest thing I have heard in a good while!

I kind of want to go to the roughest pub in town that serves food and try it out for myself.

originally posted by: grainofsand
Are you taking the piss? Really?
Lol.

Being serious dude (look out for Ultimate Hell Week on BBC2 next year as been on training for that). If you're in a pub full of potentially lethal weapons such as glass and knives then actively choosing the non-lethal incapacitating option in order to protect others around you from harm makes you pretty much immune from any charges.

If you've ever got a speck of chili or grit in your eye, you'll know how much it hurts and messes up your vision, if you can't see, you can't fight.

It's just an applied version of your reasonable defence srgument, but to the point it's so absurd that a butter knife can be viewed as more dangerous than mustard in the eyes of the law.

I love how this thread has degenerated into a debate about which condiments and/or spices you should defend yourself with.

I think I make keep a bottle of Coleman's Mustard and some smoked paprika in my nightstand now.

a reply to: bastion

After reading your story yep, I get it, an interesting method of defence for sure if it can be pulled off.
I had hot chilli sauce on my hands after a drinking game on a rugby tour once, went for a pee and my todger was stinging like a bad boy!
Had to wash it in the sink and got some funny looks when a couple of blokes came into the toilet.

...in the eyes would be the same I guess, but I'd probably just punch to the throat in such a circumstance because I am not skilled in the art of saltmanship.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus


I love how this thread has degenerated into a debate about which condiments and/or spices you should defend yourself with.

I think I make keep a bottle of Coleman's Mustard and some smoked paprika in my nightstand now.

A Hungarian friend of Mrsnonspecific's bought me some proper smoked paprika over a few weeks ago.

I think I would rather take the beating than waste any of it on an intruder.

White pepper on the other hand is very cheap and is nasty in the eyes and nose, It would need some form of device to propel it though to be truly effective.

originally posted by: grainofsand
...in the eyes would be the same I guess, but I'd probably just punch to the throat in such a circumstance because I am not skilled in the art of saltmanship.

I just had a brilliant thought, I have some gourmet ghost pepper sea salt, you could do double duty with that stuff.

a reply to: AugustusMasonicus

You know the craziest thing about UK law is that if asked by a police constable why you are carrying hot chilli sauce and replied "For the purpose of self defence" then that would be a criminal offence. lol

...it is why understanding the law and how it is interpreted is so important.

originally posted by: nonspecific
White pepper on the other hand is very cheap and is nasty in the eyes and nose, It would need some form of device to propel it though to be truly effective.

Maybe if you had, say, some sort of gun to fire it out of it may work effectively.

originally posted by: AugustusMasonicus

originally posted by: nonspecific
White pepper on the other hand is very cheap and is nasty in the eyes and nose, It would need some form of device to propel it though to be truly effective.

Maybe if you had, say, some sort of gun to fire it out of it may work effectively.

What some kind of spray perhaps?....

Interesting concept...

originally posted by: grainofsand
You know the craziest thing about UK law is that if asked by a police constable why you are carrying hot chilli sauce and replied "For the purpose of self defence" then that would be a criminal offence.

That is so sad and pathetic I think I will go and kill myself now.


I was contemplating using a combination of chili powder and kosher salt while taking a header off a 10 story building.