Why I am not a double negative!

Ok, so I lied about being positive.

My problem is, I think my mirror is seeing somebody else. I first discovered this when I realized how many close shaves I've had in my lifetime, no reflection on anyone here.

Then as I thought upon this, I began to unconsciously mix a clock and a mirror together in a large bowl...I knew it was time to reflect.

Gathering together what little courage I had left, I started down the stairs to the living room where I was immediately floored by what I saw.

There, staring right at me from the cold steel glow of the TV screen was a visage of such ghastly form that I raced back upstairs to the bathroom where, there once again I was confronted by my unfaithful mirror.

Not to be outsleuthed by this mystery, I consulted with my toilet which I often do when I need to put a lid on than sinking feeling I often get in the washtub of despair.

Now I have a long list of credits to my name, including a BLT, but even I with all of my learning and with every fixture eyed on me could never have anticipated the toilet would be behind me now!

Have mirrors no shame? Do they not see the damage they can do, as when my superstitious brother, a stand up comedian, broke a mirror and had seven years of bad cracks after that?

Oh the wretched irony on wash day!

I think I will write a book about it!

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Wait what are you talking about?

You have an extremely serious problem sozzledboot.
It just seems so my dear that you have just had a glimpse of Wonderland. You just may be slippin away!
Make sure you duck tape the clocks & cleanse the tv screen with a wash of ketchup.
You may try asking the mirror if you're PRETTTTTTYYY? Whatya say?
Dude get some cofffee eh?

I'm not sure whether or not to take this seriously! Am I right to assume you feel bad about your looks? I enjoyed the puns:

mirror.....no reflection on anyone here

I began to unconsciously mix a clock and a mirror together in a large bowl...I knew it was time to reflect

the living room where I was immediately floored by what I saw

I consulted with my toilet which I often do when I need to put a lid on that sinking feeling

....and the rest. But like Croat i'm not sure how to really respond lol!

[edit on 5-1-2005 by zhangmaster]

wow, what is that about? lol croat your question simply yet so funny

You should put your talent to work in the short story forum....

I thought it was pretty damn funny, with a subtle twist of irony....

it might be the mary-jane, but that made perfect sense, and I loved it

I was just cleaning out some of the clutter I happened to notice at the bottom of my medulla oblongata.

Nothing to see here....move right along!

MENTAL NOTE: never place the Vicks Vapo-Rub next to the jalepeno dip!

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