My Soul's Tears

I love you, o God, and I am that you continue to lead me in your direction. I cannot strive through life on my own. I need your advice and wisdom to go on.

I feel lost without you and feel like I am only hurting myself by reaching for the things that my heart wants.

I am hurting myself, and I need you to care for this soul's misbehavior of will. I need to be faithful again, but I can't do it without you. You were once the light of my eyes, and since I do not mean to say that the light had faded, I must say that I feel as if I have turned away from it.

Please, o Lord, come back into my sight. Fill my life with your presence once again, and forgive me for my turning away.

a reply to: backcase

If God loved you, why did his presence leave you in the first place?

a reply to: WakeUpBeer

You just had to be "that guy" huh?

a reply to: Bone75

"that guy" is a matter of perspective.

I think it's a fair question and I'm honestly interested in what the OP may answer in response to it. However, after having reread the OP, I think the answer was there all along.

If you lose yourself someone will find you.

originally posted by: WakeUpBeer
a reply to: backcase

If God loved you, why did his presence leave you in the first place?

Breaking any of God's commands will cause separation. It is impossible for God to be near sin.

This is why you don't know him.

originally posted by: DeathSlayer
It is impossible for God to be near sin.

That means he isn't omnipotent.

Do you have any scripture to back up the other stuff you said?

originally posted by: WakeUpBeer
a reply to: Bone75

"that guy" is a matter of perspective.

I think it's a fair question and I'm honestly interested in what the OP may answer in response to it. However, after having reread the OP, I think the answer was there all along.

God doesn't leave us, but we can choose to leave IT.

Sometimes we need to get refocused on what is truly important in life and often times we find that we have strayed from a spiritual life when we are confronted with more difficult times.

a reply to: backcase

18 At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?

2 And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them,

3 And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven.

4 Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven.

5 And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me.

6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!


Yet those that endure to the end will be "saved"

a reply to: backcase

Thank you for showing others how to pray. I believe we both know these words only work when they are unsaid. Thank you for the sacrifice.

His light never left your eyes my friend, you just lost sight of it. It's not too hard to find again, just look straight ahead.

S&F

We all move on sometimes.

We all have to grow up at some point too....

originally posted by: backcase
I love you, o God, and I am that you continue to lead me in your direction. I cannot strive through life on my own. I need your advice and wisdom to go on.

I feel lost without you and feel like I am only hurting myself by reaching for the things that my heart wants.

I am hurting myself, and I need you to care for this soul's misbehavior of will. I need to be faithful again, but I can't do it without you. You were once the light of my eyes, and since I do not mean to say that the light had faded, I must say that I feel as if I have turned away from it.

Please, o Lord, come back into my sight. Fill my life with your presence once again, and forgive me for my turning away.

sorry to hear that you are struggling. i am also sorry to see that you wont acknowledge your own strength, that you have given up on yourself. the greatest resource you will ever have in your life is your own body and mind. every day starts there and every day ends there. you are blinded by the picture of yourself that you see in your minds eye, and you have forgotten how much of your life is because you made countless decisions and followed through with them of your own free will. not just the bad stuff, but the good stuff as well. no one was holding your hand, no one told you what to do. you may have asked for advice and looked up similar accounts for guidance, but in the end, you made the decision and took the step, at every turn. no one has held a gun to your head and hopefully no one ever will. and that means you have the power to make or break yourself, but ONLY you have the power. to look outside for stability is a trap, because the only true stability and happiness is the kind that comes from within, the kind you forge from the embers of your own triumphs and failures. standing firmly on your own two feet instead of relying on a nurses aide when freedom is only a handful of steps away. we will always need friends and family, but real friends and family are there to help you recover and not just keep you on a leash. that means that eventually, you get better, get up and walk away and go on living. you dont spend the rest of your life being rehabilitated. but thats what you are asking for, if i read you right. joining the monastery for life because you think you are weak. forgive me the cliche quote, but: “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” you need to give yourself more credit, instead of being psychologically strong-armed into subservience and self-loathing. you have been taught to think of yourself as less because a bug that doesnt know its strength is easier to step on. break out of that, or your worst enemy will always be the man in the mirror. you are human and i dont care what any book says, that counts for something. so act like it.

and have a good holiday.

originally posted by: chadderson
a reply to: backcase

Thank you for showing others how to pray. I believe we both know these words only work when they are unsaid. Thank you for the sacrifice.

What does this mean? I'm confused, yet intrigued by your post.

originally posted by: WakeUpBeer
a reply to: backcase

If God loved you, why did his presence leave you in the first place?

He never leaves us. We leave him.