State Of Union, and what, should have been said

What The Pres Meant to Say at the State of The Union Address
The State of The Union
George W Bush - President of The United States
CEO of the New World Federation
A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Standard Oil Company
January 14, 2003
Washington DC
My fellow War Hawks, Haters, Corporate Fat Cats, and most beloved world
leaders who know how to bend over for me;
Well it's been two years since my gangsta brotha Jeb helped me steal the
election from that rube Gore, and my, what a fascinating two years it
has been! Not only did I have a national tragedy fall right into my
Machiavellian hands to take people's minds off my theft of the 2000
election; but I have been able to milk it and keep the sheeple in line
for quite some time. No other modern world leader besides myself and
Hitler and Stalin has been able to use national tragedy as an excuse to
carry forth a partisan agenda.
Like Mel Brooks said in History of the World part 1, "It's good to be
the king!"
Well, what's good about it? How about a rubberstamp Congress?
Heck, 9/11 has done so much to shake people up that the whole nation
gave me a mandate after I had stole the election illegally. Funny
thing is, that they know I stole it. But since I smiled real good and
looked all Presidential at Ground Zero, the people love me. I'm just
so glad that Clinton was not able to profit from something like 9/11.
So thank God for September 11, 2001!
So what is the state of the union?

Well my state of the union with power is good. I have more executive
privilege than FDR ever had, and I have managed to restructure the
entire federal government into the Department of Homeland Security.
In that very same bill I was able to pass on immunity from lawsuits to a
major drug company, and was also able to put forth my right to kill US
Citizens if they are enemy combatants. So if I really have to, I can
declare the Democratic front runner a traitor and can kill his
supporters if we manage to catch them overseas. That will cut a lot
of funding from richer and misguided people. Ain't that the neatest
little gift of 9/11?
So what is the state of the union in regards to you, my loyal and
beloved puppet masters? Well higher corporate profits for one. A
fast and ready work force for another thing. Sure, that Arkansas boob
put people to work, but under my plan I will keep people out of work.
By keeping unemployment high, I keep a lot of people clawing for
jobs. By keeping people out of work I give the corporations the
illusion of such hard times that they then need to lay off further
people which allows more profits. How does that work? Well when
you have 100 people applying or the SAME job you can hire one, make them
do the work of five people for lower pay which increases not only
corporate productivity but profits. If that person does not like
lower pay for five times the work, well there are 99 others waiting to
take that job. Problem solved. Unemployment is good for the
country. It's good for me, it's good for you.
Also by keeping 100 people applying for the same job we keep people
divided.=A0 If a black gets the job, well whites will say "look, the
blacks get all the hand outs." Should a white get the job "well the
Man is keeping us down." And heaven forbid if some Asian or other
immigrant gets the job because then people will say "those newcomers are
taking over." Having such division is good for me, it is good for
you. With division comes classism. From there it is only a small
hop, skip, and jump to a stratified labor force that is just happy to
get something to eat. No more benefits, no more time off, no more
unions. This is good for me, this is good for you.
Now a lot of you are worried about the deficit I have run up. Some of
you act like I am squandering our future. Well, I am squandering the
future of the working class as in my system they have no other future
than that of consumeristic drones; but I am insuring OUR future as the
richest of the Rich. By spending so much on defense I line the
pockets of my friends which is good for me. By decreasing taxes I
give people more of their money but I also give them less in return.
What I mean by this is simple. Not enough revenue in the coffers
means less social programs, which means that people MUST work to
survive. And since they must work to survive, we can pay them
anything we like and demand of them as much as we like. By giving the
working poor more of their own money, we make sure that they spend money
and keep us even richer. This is good for me, it is good for you.
A lot of you will be wondering about education. Well I have that
handled. Under my No Child Left Behind plan you will see a parent's
ability to yank their kid out of failing schools. You will also see
an increase in the type of education that a work force needs. We need
to return to the principal of school as not a gateway to betterment, but
a gateway to the time clock. In my program it will mostly be white
kids who are pulled from failing schools leaving the blacks to wallow in
their own #. This will further increase classism because a black
will be willing to take lower pay than a white just to get a job. And
the basis for that lower pay will be the poorer education of the
applicant. Indeed, I wont be leaving any child behind in my plan.
I have them all accounted for.
Now what about my new world policy? Well, if there is any part of the
world where a US presence can possibly increase profits, I will be
there. Our work in Afghanistan is only beginning. Soon we will
have a pipeline. Iraq will add to a shift in oil production. If
Iraqi oil is pumped by a corporation that is not affiliated with OPEC,
that will help us curb the OPEC tendency to increase production to
offset higher oil prices. Higher oil prices are good for me, and they
are wonderful for you. Once we control the bulk of world supply, we
can turn oil into a really profitable venture. We will pump oil out
of countries and sell it back to them at inflated prices. We will be
able to feign decreases in production and create scarcity to drive up
the cost of petroleum products which will make us all that much richer.
Wherever there was a buck to be made Rome was there. That is my
plan. We are the only remaining superpower and if we flex our muscles
a bit the world has two choices: cave or die. Since 9/11 fell into my
hands I will have no lack of enemies to distract the American people.
For it is keeping them distracted that will keep our state of the union
healthy.
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From: "Steve Moser"
Subject: HUMOR? What The Pres Meant to Say at the State of The Union
Address
Date: Sun, 8 Jun 2003 16:07:33 -0500
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Moser the author called it "humour".



Did he write an update for this week?

Are people really so distractable by "War On Terror" marketing that they are not paying attention to the economy going down the gurgler and the erosion of their rights?

At this point I have not seen an erosion of my rights, and as far as the economy going down the gurgler, it started down that direction before Shrub took control. What can the president do? He can cut taxes, thereby putting money back in the hands of the spenders as well as the business-builders and he can create an environment conducive to trade. That is all the government can and should do.

As far as the editorial, it is 99% propaganda, 90% warped and twisted half-truths and an attempt to sawy the opinions of emotionally controlled mush brains, and is another example of extremists in action. The main result of such articles is to muddy the water and prevent the possibility of discussing rationally the the problems and possible solutions.
Not that a rational debate would be possible with the author of such an editorial. Some of the most convoluted rambling I've seen since skimming a Michael Moore book, and without the entertainment value!

I have to agree, it didn't make me laugh. Maybe that's the humour of it, like a pie in the face, there's not really an effective answer. I never went in for slapstick much myself.

TC, you are going to see the erosion of your rights before long. Some of us feel it before we see it.

Not sure how much of the economic downturn can be levelled on either government of the day. Economic cycles run separately to political terms and there has been a lot of hot air in hi-tech companies for quite some time in my observation.

But - if you take my position - is it reasonable to distract Americans from key local issues by playing out a heavily branded and media-managed "War On Terror"?

Not to me.