It Is Not Easy Loving Someone

Why is it that when you love someone they play hard to get? and when somebody loves you, you play hard to get? It's funny, but it's true.

a reply to: bartholomeo

Sounds to me like you have some emotional issues that haven't been dealt with.

I don't think your feelings for this internet celebrity is healthy for you, that's my opinion.

I'm not the one who can guide you through this but someone else can I'm sure, best wishes.

yes you are going through a difficult time.
falling in love with someone on the internet probably gives you a sense of safety, in that she is there...but not really.
you can watch, admire, even talk to her via social media, but there is a distance that disallows your direct involvement.
Is it "wrong"? yes. but maybe it's the kind of wrong you need right now to help sort yourself out.
I'm just a year older than you and most of the time i have no idea what is really the right thing to do.
why love women?
some women are, by all means, well, muses.
there is a reason almost all the most impressive expressions of art have a woman at their centre, they move, they inspire.
some of them are a bunch of C%#@ mind you, but the hope in finding one of the "good" ones is what keeps me interested.
And of course sex, because at the end we are also (maybe mainly) animals driven by basic impulses, to deny that is to deny what makes you alive.

The solution? who knows man, maybe it's not something you can solve on your own, maybe you need some close friends to push you in the right direction, or some "big picture" to motivate you to change.
In the end women are simple, just like men, we all want the same basic things, the communication between us, is the thing we probably need to work on the most.

a reply to: bartholomeo

i can see your point to some degree, because some adult film actresses are very pretty.

but remember adult films are an illusion. you only see the physical side of sex. the films don't show the emotional connection two people can have. the films don't show the true character of the people performing for the camera. the actors and actresses are basically caricatures of a most simple personality. the fact that the adult film industry is a billion dollar business shows how powerful the illusion they create is.

originally posted by: bartholomeo
I want to keep my word of never getting married and never having children, but destiny has put a problem that seems to be too much for me to handle on my own. Any insight and assitance is needed here.

I'm going to assume that since she is a porn star that you've never even met that marriage and children between you two isn't exactly a real likely option in your future anyway so I wouldn't worry about having to keep your promise to yourself.

I'd worry more about why you would even make such a promise to yourself.

That and you might want to work on your overall general view toward women. I'm guessing you blame your mother more for the divorce than your dad or that you feel she betrayed him and you somehow.

In my youth I was a good looking guy and I got lots of good looking chicks,but beauty is fleeting -3am stoned and drunk and in a pool of their own vomit even Rihanna aint that hot,thats all fickle however true love is when you meet your sole mate and looks are irrelevent if you ever get that lucky enjoy it for what its worth because one day the other great emotion,great loss follows.Be yourself play the field but dont confuse love with lust.

a reply to: mOjOm

Thank you all for all your input. I definately have to work out some emotional issues. I regained my senses and realized how stupid all this was. Thanks for bringing me back to reality.

Cheers

I've never played "hard to get," to be honest, and don't understand such things personally. People speak of "wanting a challenge" in a relationship and of "enjoying the chase." I've never been about or desired that. All I seek is to love and be loved.

The older I get, the less I seek "challenge" or games. I just want honesty, love, and mutual support. This applies not just to new relationships, but older, long lasting ones as well.

Butterflies in your stomach and fireworks are what help a relationship get started. But once it's fully manifested as a real, tangible, reliable thing, then comfort, ease, and familiarity are desirable in my view. It doesn't mean you're "falling out of love," it just means you're comfortable in the relationship. That's a GOOD thing in my view. The less intensity and drama, the better. The more stability and smooth sailing, the better. Don't sweat the small stuff, and appreciate what you have rather than playing games with it and risk losing it. That's my advice as I age at least. Take it or leave it, your mileage may vary.

I think too many people fall into two traps. 1) Playing games early on to "make things interesting." And 2) Thinking that when that early intensity seems to wane, it means you're not in love anymore, when really it's just familiarity and comfort. That's how growing old together should feel IMHO. If that's what you're looking for.

If you're just looking for a fling then, of course, none of that need apply.

Peace.

originally posted by: bartholomeo
Why is it that when you love someone they play hard to get? and when somebody loves you, you play hard to get? It's funny, but it's true.

the deepest lovers play the deepest games .. ##

appologise



this needs a background info thing

originally posted by: bartholomeo
Why is it that when you love someone they play hard to get? and when somebody loves you, you play hard to get? It's funny, but it's true.

If you have to play games it's not love.

My dogs are easy to love. The only time they play hard to get is when they know it's bath time.

I think people like to test each other to see if they will chase and prove they really love you

a reply to: pueblosighting

pretty much