Is ADHD/ADD just an excuse?

I have a 13 year old son who was diagnosed with ADHD/ADD a year ago along with ODD.

I am curious as to what other parents think, Is it real?

3 years ago I would have been of the opinion that a child was 'naughty' rather than suffering from any sort of disorder. However..having spoken to many doctors I see the points they make about the symptoms in my son. Am I deluding myself?

a reply to: demondonna

I've seen kids who really have ADD/ADHD, but I've also seen kids who just had poor parents too.

IMO, there is a fine line. As you are the parent, only you can say for certain whether or not your child actually does have uncontrollable behavior issues. Keep in mind that not all ADD manifests as a kid who just can't control themselves too. I saw at least child who just "got lost" inside her own head. Her parents homeschooled her and her father was a physician. They both knew she had ADD, but they did not want her medicated, hence the homeschool

No. The doctors are for the sake of job security.

I would be worried if children weren't hyper and looking for a way to let out that energy. I personally believe that most children are NOT ADHD/ADD. they are children, learning their boundaries in life. Now in some cases im sure its very real, but Ive seen perfectly good kids put on that zombie medication.

I remember being diagnosed with ADD many years ago. I was sitting in the shrinks office as he asked me whether I thought I had a problem with paying attention and I answered 'no' rather nonchalantly as I was preoccupied with inspecting one of his shiny coasters. Since then, I have always struggled with homework at school, focusing on certain conversations, even to this day I have trouble paying attention to tasks at work (posting on ATS for instance). It's a very real disorder.

For perspective sake: I never had trouble with my parents. I was taught in a private school in my younger years with strict discipline. I was never on any meds aside from multivitamins. Basically, nothing I can think of aside from my brain getting bored could have caused my lack of attention. To this day I am still surprised at how mental disorders (such as depression) can slip in and out of your life without you even noticing until someone points it out to you.

a reply to: demondonna

The defining thing about all mental disorders is you can't punish them out. You can't spank a schizophrenic to stop hearing voices for instance. So if the kid has bad grades, or behaviors, and punishments or rewards don't change them (Like special toy for good grades, extra chores for bad ones) Then you need to accept that a mental disorder is going on.

originally posted by: ketsuko
a reply to: demondonna

I've seen kids who really have ADD/ADHD, but I've also seen kids who just had poor parents too.

IMO, there is a fine line. As you are the parent, only you can say for certain whether or not your child actually does have uncontrollable behavior issues. Keep in mind that not all ADD manifests as a kid who just can't control themselves too. I saw at least child who just "got lost" inside her own head. Her parents homeschooled her and her father was a physician. They both knew she had ADD, but they did not want her medicated, hence the homeschool

My son is now home educated and the difference is clear. He is no longer as angry and defensive. He stopped taking medication 2 months after he left school although he gets excitable to a point that most would deem bizarre. How tempted I am to record and upload an example of him 'bouncing off the walls'.

My boy confidence is very low, he has a very low opinion of himself. He is very immature in his behavior, although he seems most at ease when interacting with familiar adults.

originally posted by: Glassbender777
I would be worried if children weren't hyper and looking for a way to let out that energy. I personally believe that most children are NOT ADHD/ADD. they are children, learning their boundaries in life. Now in some cases im sure its very real, but Ive seen perfectly good kids put on that zombie medication.

I think its an easy option for some parents when it comes to medication. My son tried 3 different kinds in 3 months and although his concentration was noticeably improved, the side effects were awful.

My son is beyond hyper. He often will argue the toss when I ask him why he is walking around in circles or jumping from one foot to the other. Its not unheard for him to be almost unaware of what he is doing.

originally posted by: DeepImpactX
No. The doctors are for the sake of job security.

Would you care to elaborate?

a reply to: demondonna

I might stir the pot there but here it goes anyhow: My kids are today adults in their early 30 but one of them was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes at age 6. During the 1st few years, and especially in a preteen child the pancreas does not shut just down over night. Even when one thinks one has finally the right dosage of insulin for weight and age; it can flare up and cause severe "low sugar" levels. As adults when we are stressed out and get cranky/nasty and hostile in the work-place it is exactly this "low sugar" level. I used this as an introduction concerning ADD because what followed was almost coincidental and surprising. 2 of my child's closest friends had "discipline problems" pretty "bratty lil' guys at times. On one family party in summer my child went also in a damn bratty mode and I took a blood test and found her low. A good sweet drink and snack did the trick. Due to the open event of taking the blood test, and out of curiosity, several other kids also wanted a test. I gave a test to several kids; including the 2 "brats". Lo and behold both "brats" were constant low sugar types. Additionally their parents were concerned of them to 'take too much sugar'. The moment they had ingested a few sweets and "real sugar" they turned within minutes into almost "angels" in comportment.

Personally I have had my serious up and downs with the diabetes association. As a pilot in the 90 we were officially told by the transport authorities to NOT consume any product containing aspartame. BUT we had to "shut up about it". Naturally the diabetes foundation receives 90% or more of its funding from "Monsanto" the producer of aspartame. Using the same logic and applying the no aspartame rule to my diabetic child the same improved dramatically within its daily sugar balances and levels. Actually i needed less insulin for age and weight than when the child was on the so called "recommended diet and low sugar products". The doctors finding out as to what my trick was had serious warnings for me, either THEIR way or they take my child away.

Back to the 2 "brats". After the parents realized that low sugar caused the behavior and they abandoned the no sugar rule, their so called ADD had disappeared like it had never been there at all.
So before putting you child on drugs, maybe a few weeks of trying the "sugar cure" and foremost avoiding aspartame products, it would be worth a try. A few weeks more or less wont make a dent in the final outcome. And it might save you a lot of money on medication that you do not need.

I believe the excuse is that they are CHILDREN. Guess what. A child's brain is not fully developed. Each child is also different. Children have varying levels of energy, outgoingness , attention, ect. A kid acting like a kid is not an excuse.

Are there times when there really is a problem? Sure, but we have a huge problem pathologizing healthy child behavior just because they have a bit more energy than their peers and don't find every school subject fascinating because their love is for baseball or comic books.

a reply to: demondonna


My brother was diagnosed with AD/HD, and in my opinion he was just a little ****head. I don't believe he had an kind of condition or disorder. He was just a crappy person, none of the counseling or medication had any effect.

He grew up to be a carnie and meth addict. 5 kids with 5 different women, arrested countless time. He was just a worthless turd.
It's interesting I typed that in the past tense. He's still alive as far as I know, but he no longer exists to me. I have no use for him. The world will be a better place when he's dead.

He's an oxygen thief.

I was born with adhd, and i can assure you it's a real thing. I've grown out of most of the negatives of it but they still resonate especially when im tired.
The problem with adhd (mainly in children) is you HAVE to be interested or you will space out in lala land creating adventures and 20 books in your head while wverything around you is going on. Another bad thing ive noticed is when you are REALLY interested in something (HyperFocus) you go way overboard:

For Instance, you can destroy your body running for hours on end just because you have the energy that can lead to problems later down the road if you arent careful. Or you can be like me and work 24 hours in a row through pain due to the fact the work HAD to be done. Literally 15 hours with no breaks, no water breaks nothing. All because my mind was focused on the task at hand.

ADHD can get out of hand when you dont know how to deal with it but i believe if you understand what it is, it can lead to the individual being very successful at their crafts.

ADD is a different story but in conclusion yes, ADHD is real coming from someone whos experienced both the negatives and positives of it (and still does)

a reply to: demondonna

My father was diagnosed with ADD and I was once diagnosed with it but never took any medicine. I've flip-flopped several times in my life on if it is a real thing or not. I have currently settled on it being real just from my interactions on how I think with how other people think.

When someone tells me to "just turn off your brain" and let things happen, I get confused since my brain is ALWAYS working and never shuts off, considering things, pondering events and situations, or just being imaginative. The first time someone told me to do this, I looked at them like they had 4 heads. "You are able to do that?" The only way I've figured out how to turn my brain off is against the T&C. Thankfully I only have ADD and not ADHD.

Though I still think this ailment is over-diagnosed in the country.

ETA: One more thing, one of the soldiers in my battery (company) in the Army was a confirmed ADHD person and you could TOTALLY tell whenever he hadn't taken his medication that morning. Like he was INTOLERABLE to be around because of his hyperness resulting in him being overly annoying. Then when he WAS on his medication, he wasn't nearly as bad. Trust me, these are REAL mental disorders.

a reply to: demondonna

ADD and ADHD are real enough if there are signs in his and your life and his social life that something within him is causing a problem. Meds can help. Parents may contribute, or they can be entirely blameless. My son and I have the affliction honestly, I guess, via the genes.

ETA: I had to come back and tell you that your user name is a little frightening. How does your own situation fit with his?

I know two children that seem to have severe ADHD. These children are literally bouncing off the walls and furniture. To me it seems that for them no matter how much parenting, talking to, or therapy the child recieves it would not help them right now. Those children really benefit from medication. As the children grow older they will probably be able to get off of it but you wonder how they will be able to cope with shift of getting off of the meds. My son is diagnosed with ADHD specifically in the auditory area, it isn't severe but it does cause issues. I've decided not to put him on meds yet but instead try to get him into a routine by constantly reminding him off things so it becomes a habit for him, I also try to help him to relax to slow his brain down so he is "hearing" everything he needs to. Did you do the beta and theta testing for your son? You know your child better than any doctor. The testing can help confirm any suspicions you have.

A few years ago my son was diagnosed with ADHD, and for people that do not have kids with ADHD or don't have kids at all to comment they don't believe it is real, is ignorance.

My son could not pay attention to anything for longer than 5 minutes, he had emotional outburst you would expect of a 10 year old, not a 14 year old.

It also took a tole on the whole family, as we tried family therapy and individual therapy to try and help him.

Finally we turned to medication. It has totally changed our situation. Everyone gets along, he can focus, he can concentrate.

His grades were F's and D's, and once he started medication, within a school term his grades went to A's and B's.

ADHD is a real diagnosis, and it needs to be treated. Whether with meds, therapy, or a combination, that is up to the parents, and a decision they will have to make.

As someone who suffers from AD/HD, and who has a child with it, I get really tired of the bull# articles about how the disorder isn't real and how children are 'just that way'.

AD/HD nearly ruined my adult life. I couldn't hold a job, my relationships were strained, it was a disaster.

All mental illness falls on a 'spectrum' with various degrees of severity and impairment. While many behavioral problems can be addressed by parenting techniques, educational support and hard work, there are problems that can only be addressed medically.

While I may disagree with the seemingly-arbitrary way the medical field classifies some 'disorders' I believe that when there is a measurable improvement in the quality of life through therapy, medicine, accomodations... Then a problem truly DID exist.

We readily accept diabetes as a medical problem due to improper levels, or processing, of chemicals in the body. The same with hypothyroidism, anemia, allergic reactions....

I think the problem with non-ADHD people who feel the world "normally" trying to minimize or disparage the disorder is that you can't 'measure' feelings, thoughts, moods and you can't experience firsthand (like this very moment in an office with five people and fire trucks passing by outside the window) how OVERWHELMING external stimulus can be to some of us.

Therapy and the appropriate medications have transformed my life over the last 20 years. I know that's not the right answer for everyone, and especially for parents who are the ultimate authority on what is 'normal' for their child, but I'm quite sure I'd be single and unemployed if medicine hadn't intervened.

If anything I'd recommend that any parent with a child having problems keep a mood diary, work through the process from least-invasive (behavior, parenting) to working with teachers on a 504 or IEP, and then trying medication/therapy if needed.

Measure the results at each interval. If the child truly has AD/HD there will be a world of improvement.

I apologize for my language, but this issue is a hot button. We never (or rarely) see challenges to medical problems like cancer, diabetes, COPD, heart disease, hepatitis or any other similarly documented condition. Just because it's in the brain doesn't mean it ain't real.

I was the poster child for adhd. That being said there is nothing odd about a young boy being hyper and distracted. I ended up working my way up at FedEx and becoming an extremely effective manager as I learned how to channel my extra energy. Do not let him take medication for it as that is just narcotics.

a reply to: demondonna

As for the medications... It's unfortunate that trial-and-error seems to be the way to go. We had similar issues with both our boys until we found the right combination.

Sometimes the underlying cause is something else and AD/HD meds can make things worse. Until we got things fine tuned we'd get the spectrum from zombie to crying/screaming out of control.

Our younger son, who had problems seemingly with attention and relating to others, turned out to be on the Autism spectrum. When we tried stimulants based on the Dr. first impression he turned into a crying upset angry mess. With occupational therapy and wonderful teachers (and a properly documented IEP) he went from "failing" kindergarten(?) to reading well above grade-level and being in the 95th percentile on mathematics by the end of second grade.

So many disorders can mimic AD/HD it's worth seeing a pediatric specialist if you can. Many GPs seem lost when it comes to treating kids with vibrant personalities.