I Have Been Walked Away From

a reply to: caladonea

Many years ago, I became involved (briefly) with a mad Christian sect and the preachers regularly advised their flock to abandon anyone who didn't share their extremely narrow world view.

Just throwing it out there. Your friend might have been persuaded to dump you by her freaky sect friends.

3 things you dont talk to your friends about. Religion, Politics and Race. There are some people that can have decent debate most cant.

a reply to: caladonea

Ok, let me be the first to say,....

She missed her calling and has never studied the scripture herself thoroughly to understand God's heart and it's to her loss that she lost an excellent friend....

I'm so sorry to hear this, keep your chin up, message me if you want just to chat, I'll do my best to listen

a reply to: caladonea

Cal, we've crossed paths on the boards quite often. What TrueBrit says
is on the money. You are an awesome member here as well. Your friend
may claim Christianity but she doesn't know the first step to following
Christ. Give her some time darlin and if she doesn't realize the huge
mistake shes made.

Well, then you haven't lost a damn thing.

a reply to: caladonea

Ahh... fundy Christians...

A plague on this planet lol

You're probably better off

originally posted by: caladonea




I believe that God cares about everyone...and that there are in every walk of life...people who are spiritual and good people...who when they pass away from this life...will move on to a better place.







You're exactly right. God does love everyone. He created us all. However, the Bible makes it very plain that no man will enter Heaven because of good deeds. The only way to Heaven is to believe that Jesus died on the cross to cover our sins, that he came back from the dead, and ascended to Heaven. Then invite him into your heart to show you how to be a good Christian. That's it. The only, sure-fire way to get to Heaven.

Wow! You two sound like opposites. Don't hate her. Try your best to forgive her. If you do meet up, don't rant or rave about how closed minded she might be. Instead, be kind. Accept the idea that every, single, person on this planet "learns" differently. Some take much longer than others. Some much faster. If you can get that concept down, forgiveness will come much easier for her and whole slew of other people like her that you will come across in your lifetime. Don't be surprised when she wakes you up at 3am begging for forgiveness, or worse yet, in tears trying to justify herself. Just listen to her. Remember the concept idea. Try to think of times that you may have done the same thing to someone else. And finally, tell her that all is forgiven and that you wish her nothing but love. Then hang up and go back to sleep. No bad karma here.

a reply to: caladonea

Sounds like she's right, it always sucks when they leave you alone though.

It is very, very possible that she was influenced by others in her entourage. She may have had friends from church spend time trying to convince her that she shouldn't spend any time around people who do not have the same belief system.
As much as it hurts to think a good friend could be that easily swayed, it is just very human. They may have "ganged up" on her- three people arguing that position, can be quite powerful.

One of the reasons I feel pretty repulsed to organized religion is because very often they encourage people to reject their own internal states, emotions, and thoughts, in favor of the accepted group think. She may still love you dearly, and even suffer from this break, but a lot of spiritual and religious belief systems build upon the idea that what you feel inside is inferior 'animal' drives and instincts, that must be overcome and dominated, in order to be 'enlightened'.

I feel sad for you both. But usually, there is not much more to do, is there?

Good riddence to Elizabeth. Why care about being friends with someone like that? If you really have to associate with intolerent people, you should have no problem finding a replacement. They're everywhere.


a reply to: caladonea

a reply to: caladonea

My unlicensed, untrained, insta-psychoanalysis based entirely off of reading your OP, is that your way of thinking has nudged something in her a bit - enough to cause her some fear and discomfort that she might agree with you - thus threatening the beliefs she has developed, justified and held onto her entire life to this point. Pushing you away is a defense mechanism, allowing her to retreat back to her comfort zone.

I believe that's more of an initial reaction to fear, and that most people in such a situation would then slowly inch their way back toward this "new and different" (to them) way of thinking - gently testing the waters, backing out again, until learning that the water actually feels good (metaphorically.) Or, not. Too far too fast and the shock is too great, reinforcing the native belief system as "better." The possibility of change to beliefs one holds as a central part of one's personality feels like a psychological attack, and the mind will switch into overdrive to defend those beliefs.

Personally, I believe there is a strong physical-mental component to this - perhaps the web of electrical pathways, with all the various thoughts somehow tied to those core beliefs (some with deep-rooted connections, others with minor, abstract connections) notices the impact a drastic "rewiring" would have on the psyche and desparately searches for a way to defend against change - then reinforce against it. Not that you've been pushing your beliefs - just the exposure. Somehow, she wants to think the way you do about these things, but to make the change quickly would be like violently ripping the bottom janga blocks/sticks/whatever out.

a reply to: caladonea

Respect her views, choices, and wish her well.

I've had people take the same type of stances, they always project issues onto others, instead of looking within.

Maybe one day she'll realize what she lost.

Your description of her is just a bit vague. Perhaps she thought she was carrying the relationship, or that over five years time she had become aware of your every nuance, and Five years would then be the cut off point? We don't know you, it could be that she saw you as a pain in the butt contrarian, or her destination in life was religiously bound and you were hindering the life goals she had. Perhaps it's not you exactly that she could not tolerate any more, but rather your religious and political beliefs. In the course of that time did either of you 'bend' on beliefs ? Or were you both resolute ? Curious if mind altering substances were involved, and if it might just be 'crying in your beer' type quick decision spur of the moment thing, after all it was very late in the evening. Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and abandon old friends who seem only to be a negative influence in your life and Move on. Some people are just Toxic ......

Sheesh! S&F just for feeling the same way I do.

I believe it's called bigotry and their intolerance to the ways of others around them hurt those very people. Sorry for being affected; matter of fact, I feel sorry for myself too.

The most pathetic thing about this would probably be that I could only express my solidarity to you only through emoticons. I don't even know which one's appropriate.

I would rather give u a hug.