Delusions or just strange thoughts?

I am diagnosed schizoaffective and I've had several psychotic episodes. When I am "normal" I am a materialist and an atheist. But lately I am almost obsessed with certain ideas that are evolving in my head. My problem is I'm not sure if these are delusions I should be worried about ,or just strange thoughts . I consider most religious beliefs to be strange,and yet people aren't considered delusional for having them. I talked to my prescriber, and he upped my antipsycotics for now. He didn't have much advice for me, and didn't really say whether he thought I was having delusions or not. My boyfriend hasn't noticed any strange behavior, although he thinks my thoughts are strange. I haven't been having trouble sleeping, or other of the usual problems I have when becoming psychotic. I can't afford a real psychiastrist.

I could ignore the ideas, but they are really interesting,and there isn't much else interesting in my life to think about. I don't really want to give up my ideas, but I also don't want to risk going psychotic if that's what's happening. So I'm not sure what I should do.

My ideas stem from watching videos of Nassim Harramein and Rupert Sheldrake. Basically, I see the universe as a living entity, that is torus shaped and constantly recycling. Constantly reforming and being destroyed at the same time, eternally. I believe there are morphic fields, but these fields are possibilities of a limited variety. We just tap into the fields that are already there. Evolution goes by a pattern in these morphic fields. Everything in life follows these patterns. Each recycling of the universe gives new experience to the life force which is inherent in the universe. This life force is recycled in each new configuration of life. While there aren't infinite possibilities, there is enough variety that the universe will never get bored. There is some degree of free will, but not much,as life is constrained by the patterns of the morphic fields. That's why there's convergence in evolution, as new species tap into already existing patterns. Most things are inevitable, although the details can vary. I also believe in the concept of the collective unconscious and archetypes of Carl Jung. I think behavior patterns are archetypes, which are morphic fields as well. I think that's what intuition is, the ability to tap into morphic fields. Authors of stories tap into the archetypal morphic fields. Mythology and religion also taps into these archetype fields. Psychosis is tapping into archetypal fields, and becoming overwhelmed.

Do my ideas sound delusional, or just weird?

They don't sound delusional to me, they make a lot of sense actually. The universe is perpetually changing, creating and destroying all the time. Cycles is the medium that it works through, eternal cycles without beginning or end.

originally posted by: 3NL1GHT3N3D1
They don't sound delusional to me, they make a lot of sense actually. The universe is perpetually changing, creating and destroying all the time. Cycles is the medium that it works through, eternal cycles without beginning or end.

Thanks. It makes a lot of sense to me too.

Not really. If you think of the wave function in Quantum Physics observed in the double slit experiment as a field controlling where energy can manifest into stable electrons (synchronicity field/probability field) then you get your "morphic fields". And it is very probable that 3D+1T is Torus or 3-sphere (en.wikipedia.org...).

A theory on how Quantum Tunneling can cause mutation that change evolution.


Then we have where the energized body states thru meditation that changes the energy causing heat/cold/vibration in the body called light/chi/kundalini.

A theory on consciousness being a quantum phenomena. Connected to the microtubules that exists in every cell.


We also gave quantum entanglement where 2 particles in space time are connected to each other no matter how far between they are (a wormhole like quantum phenomena). If you effect one you are automatically also effecting the other. Just like synchronicity (one state in space time connected to another state in space time) where cause and effect can be hard to figure out.

You don't sound delusional at all, you sound like a free thinker who exercises philosophies and thought concerning the constructs of the reality your in.

Keep in mind, those calling you a schizophrenic type, are working for business and profit. They also do not completely understand the human mind, psyche, sub consciousness, let alone the universal structure and it's nature.

I believe there are more natural and less ... alternative ways to slow and ease the so called psychotic episodes on your mind. Being one with nature, meditation outdoors, sun gazing, eat more natural foods and alchemical processes.

I'm not a doctor or psychologist, but I have studied my own mind and observed, studied other humans and their mental behaviors, patterns, thought processes etc. Have also used alchemy, meditations, variety of diets and measured/studied their affects on my busy and mind.

The human mind is complex and deep, anyone claiming to be a professional human mind analyzer, is just as psychotic to me lol. Huge claim.

Again your thought processing, seems natural to a philosophical mind and wondered of the universe and discoverer of self - to me. I appreciate you coming and sharing.

Thanks, and be well

a reply to: kcgads

It depends on how you got to those thoughts.

If they were triggered randomly, and without much thought, then maybe. If they are the result of a lot thought, a lot of trying to figure out what reality is, then they're not the kind of delusions that you need to worry about, if they even are delusions.

Weird? Idk, maybe? How did you get to those thoughts? What was your process? (If the people you tell can't see your process they will think you are worse than you are.)

Do my ideas sound delusional, or just weird? I think your ideas make sense.

Is it delusional to imagine or hypothesize? Then I'm delusional too.

I love your ideas. You should keep track of your thoughts in a notebook if you aren't akready doing so. And just continue to let those thoughts flow.

People who don't understand what you are talking about will probably think your ideas are weird, but the one who do understand will be interested in your opinions.

Time is an illusion to enable the everything-that-is to experience everything that can be.

Not delusional more like a free thinker a lot of those are being born this new generation is really going to shake # up for the powers that be. Can't wait til these old dogmatic power appeasing #s are all.dead

There is so much that is hidden in the subconsciousness, it generally is made obvious to us when we dream and remember those dreams. Things in dreams generally make no sense, they are compiled of all our experiences and thoughts and we can witness what the brain does when it sorts itself out every night. Sometimes we gain a foothold in the subconsciousness, and the thoughts and visions that we experience in our dreams escape into our waking lives.

When you are dreaming, realise how easy it is to fall in the trap, to believe what is happening in your dream is "real" - unless of course you have trained yourself to lucid dream.

So, the "dreaming" part of the brain seems to take hold during a psychosis, and you start to believe in many "strange thoughts" that your mind has dredged up.

It happened to me, and I started seeing all kinds of bizarre things, however, many of the things I saw did not fit into the experiences I had in this life - there were things that were totally foreign, things that I could not trace to any experience previously had, or any thought previously had in this lifetime.

The conclusion I came to was that my subconsciousness housed thoughts and experience from past lives or from other realites, explaining what I could not trace to this world and this incarnation.

I could explain what I saw in great depth, however, it was not really the actual contents of the visions that made me come to my conclusion, it was the fact that during my "episodes" I became aware of another part of "me" that had been hidden in this lifetime, I knew exactly what I was looking at once I realised that what I saw were representations from my past lives.

It was still a "dream" because obviously my visions were just based on memories and thoughts, albeit from past lives, so, what I experienced was not "real" however there must have been actual events that gave rise to such thoughts and memories.

Many ancient texts describe such great cosmological cycles, the oldest known today may be the concept of the Yugas from the Hindu Vedas.

Further, I wish you good health. I have a close relative that has struggled with deep depressions and schizophrenia for most of her life and I know that it is very hard for her, mutual love & respect is the way to get through it all I believe. Fortunately, the subject of mental issues is progressively getting less taboo, which makes it easier for everyone involved.

-MM

a reply to: kcgads
Watch this.

Your thoughts are absolutely valid and a simplification of the truth. I remember when I had the thought that the universe was probably in the shape of a torus, and that there was probably already a scientific theory about it, so I googled 'donut universe' and up it came. Same thing happened when I thought about how our thoughts are probably fractal based like most things, and googled 'Fractal brain theory' - there is was, exactly called that and everything.

You seem to be learning basic truths about the universe like I did. They make themselves apparent when you are able to comprehend them and willing to seek truth. Keep seeking, use your light to distinguish what is truth and what is not.

a reply to: kcgads

No didnt sound weird just try to simplify them