LIMERICKS!!

I was given this limerick book the other week by my darling son, thought you alot might like a good laugh.

Picked out some good ones, but as they say, "each to there own" hope you like them!!!



There was a young lady called Hilda
who went for a walk with a builder.
He knew that he could,
And he should, and he would -
And he did - and it bloody nearly killed her!

*********************

A remarkable race the Persians,
They do have so many diversions.
They screw the whole day
In the regular way,
And save up the night for perversions!

*********************

There was a young woman called Dexter
whose husband exceedingly vexed her,
for whenever they'd start
He'd let fly a great fart
with a blast that damn nearly unsexed her

*********************

A forward young man with a fiddle
Asked a young fan, "Do you diddle?"
She repiled, "Yes, I do,
But prefer it with two -
Its twice as much fun in the middle".

*********************

An innocent maid from Penzance
Decided to take just one chance.
So she let herself go,
In the lap of her beau,
And now all her sisters are aunts!

*********************

There was a young couple called Kelly
who had to live belly to belly,
for once, in their haste,
They used library paste
Instead of petroleum jelly!

*********************

There was a young lady of Dover
whose passion was such that it drove her
To cry when she came,
"Oh dear, what a shame!
Well now we just have to start over"

*********************

There was a young fellow called Lancelot
whose neighbours looked on him askance a lot.
whenever he'd pass
A pretty young lass,
The front of his pants would advance a lot.

*********************

A student of music from Sparta
was a truly magnificent farter;
on the strength of one bean
He'd fart God Save the Queen,
And Beethoven's Moonlighting Sonata.

*********************





And one for the road?



The limerick form is complex,
Its contents deal mainly with sex.
It burgeons with virgeons
And masculine urgeons,
And a wealth of erotic effex!



Anyone else got any good ones?

(some of them are really unprintable in here, use your imagination why?)



Blackwidow