US Mail and Your DNA

Well I've known this for a while but thought I should share here. Just came up on a friends FB thread.
So, here goes.

The US mail is on it's way out - remember that old Seinfeld episode where Kramer was just done with it, and bricked up his mailbox?

Well, here's the thing.

You probably shouldn't ever smear your DNA on an envelope with your tongue, then drop it in a big red white and blue box on the street corner marked "US Government."

Just sayin.

They did actually bust a guy in upstate New York who killed a girl when he was 12, by faking him out and getting him to reply to a letter.
That's actually f'n awesome, but again, just sayin.
Probably should just use a fingertip and some water instead from now on, folks.

Love & Light, On & Up.

It is funny you brought this up. I was just thinking yesterday that the USPS is a massive network that could be utilized by the government for some purpose other then transporting mail.

a reply to: HarryJoy

Yup.
Like, DNA.

Yikes!

I'll remember it for my next murder

a reply to: KAOStheory

Very old news, but a re-examination from the public is to be expected given what we see being revealed these days.

Having spent almost 15 years in the USPOD a life time or two ago, I can confirm that such was the case even back in the 1960s when I worked there. Then, the Postal Inspection Service tried to nail what few drugs that were mailed and that horrible, horrible business of mail porn! Of course, some subversives were targeted too. And techniques were created to read the folded sheets inside an envelope and logs kept of "from" and "to" mail.

Then, the mail sorting machines came with the modernization of the PO and the zip codes allowed machines to sort your mail via mass amounts and then the numbers-reading machines were improved upon to also read your entire name and address. These days, who knows what might be their capabilities in regard to knowing your business that you might wrongly assume is safely tucked away in a sturdy envelope.

originally posted by: violet
I'll remember it for my next murder

OMG! Next? Sheez Us!
After taking Microbiology, I learned to lick nothing! But I was aware that such techniques were implemented in such crime cases.

Some here are to young to remember. But there was a small dish with a sponge, that was filled with water. The sponge was used to swipe over the glue of the envelope. It's better than licking DNA all over an envelope.

a reply to: violet

I think you forgot the letter "n" in your user name. Just don't use an envelope to kill someone this time... Maybe you can use unlicked postage stamps to do it ....kind of an expensive way to do it. Just make sure you wear rubber gloves when you stick them on your victim.

who licks envelopes?

just get self seal. with the amount of envelopes i stuff, i avoid licking due to the carb count in the glue.

a reply to: KAOStheory

This is the case in reference.

New Trick By Cops Closes Old Case

Not long ago, John Nicholas Athan got an official-looking letter about a class-action lawsuit filed on behalf of people who had been overcharged on parking tickets. If he wanted to take part in the case, he was told, he had to sign and return the enclosed form.

He licked the self-addressed envelope, sent it back and waited to hear if he would get any money.

In truth, there was no lawsuit - but there was DNA.

The letter was part of ruse devised by detectives to get a sample of Athan's DNA and connect him to a slaying that had gone unsolved for nearly 21 years.

Looks like he wound up being released on parole back in 2011. Either way, he ten year sentence would have been finished last year. Magnolia killer expected to go free

And on a lighter note, Seinfeld really has something against the USPS. Kramer bricking his mailbox over, George's fiance dying by licking envelopes, and of course, Newman... Plus, there was his appearance on The Tonight Show last year. (Jump to about the three minute mark.)

a reply to: cmdrkeenkid

That was a good Sienfeld routine and yeah....it seemed like he REALLY did have a beef with them. But what do you expect ...the post master General wouldn't have stayed up all night worrying about going up a penny.....if it wasn't for the "penny pinchers". He probably sits up at night adding up all the pennies that the postal service gets and thinking up ways to passive agressively (jokes) take out his frustration at losing out on them.

a reply to: HarryJoy

I think they really shot themselves in the foot with the Forever Stamps. When they came out I bought ten sheets of them. The only things I've mailed in the last few years were rent checks, car payments, and utility bills. The rent check to avoid having to go into the office, the car payment and utility bills to avoid a "convenience fee" of paying online. Now I'm down to just one utility bill a month getting mailed out. I still have about four sheets of stamps left, which should last me a few more years.

a reply to: cmdrkeenkid

Well I work for a company that is a postal contractor and load the mail I haul in the trailer. I am always surprised at the amount of letters that get mailed on a daily basis...considering that I only mail a handful of things a year. But it is certainly easy to see that changes need to be made. I see a lot of tractor trailers leave the facilities almost empty ...and yet I'm not sure what they can do differently. I have thought that it might be a good job for drones to gather the mail from the small rural PO's and deliver straight to the sorting facilities. If they could create a good reliable drone/quadcopter with a 500lb capacity they could replace a lot of trucks and drivers and provide faster/cheaper service. The only problem I could see would be the potential crashes....but trucks crash too ! With the type of GPS technology available now they could be pretty much automated. All they would have to do is build small helipads/platforms at each facility.

originally posted by: Bigburgh

originally posted by: violet
I'll remember it for my next murder

OMG! Next? Sheez Us!
After taking Microbiology, I learned to lick nothing! But I was aware that such techniques were implemented in such crime cases.

Some here are to young to remember. But there was a small dish with a sponge, that was filled with water. The sponge was used to swipe over the glue of the envelope. It's better than licking DNA all over an envelope.

I hope you realize I was joking

a reply to: HarryJoy

Sounds like the MQ-8B Fire Scout. It can carry a payload of 600+ pounds and has five hours of endurance when loaded. It's combat, or in this case mail delivery, radius is about 100 miles. Plus, using those Hellfire missiles to get the mail through the slot will be a blast!

But in all reality, delivery of the mail is something that couldn't be replaced by an aerial drone. Perhaps a self-driving car with actuators for delivering to specially designed cluster mailboxes would work. An aerial drone wouldn't work simply because of the varying weather. Today, while sunny and about 50 degrees out, we have some gnarly gusts. And what about flying in heavy rain or snow? As neat of an idea I think it is, I just couldn't see this idea getting off the ground.

That is funny you mention Seinfeld. It is because of Seinfeld that I never, ever lick a stamp. Poor Susan! I usually just get a q-tip and wet it then run it across.

I do have to say though, that I like when cops/detectives use their brains to bust someone. They are getting rather lazy now that most of the work can be done for them. I think it is great they got the guy who murdered the girl.

a reply to: cmdrkeenkid

I wouldn't try to use drones for house to house delivery. Just from individual PO's to regional sorting facilities. I realize weather would be a factor although I would think that the multi rotor copters would be able to fly through some moderate to heavy weather with there ability to instantly adjust lift on all sides. If they used a gas turbine driving a DC generator with DC motors on the rotors. I would think they could generate sufficient operating range. Just a fun idea though mostly.

a reply to: KAOStheory

Why would it even matter if they had your DNA anyway? I never lick those things myself, the glue upsets my stomach. I just use a wet finger, or if I am mailing a lot of letters I use a wet sponge. Uh oh, I guess using my finger would give them my finger prints! Lmao!

I guess they could use your DNA to frame you maybe? Well like Kurt Cobain once said, "just because you're paranoid, does not mean that they are not out to get you".

~$heopleNation