religious themed schizoaffective disorder.

what im about to post is very personal and important to me.
Please do not ridicule me or anything im being 100% honest with you , and myself, in this post.


It all started the day of my grandfather tony's funeral( or viewing.) I saw the angel with the sun as its halo and one foot over the land and one foot over the sea; I didnt realize this was in the book of revelation until way after i saw the cloud. This was my first "Hallucination."
I've also seen a cloud that was shaped like the stairway to heaven, ive seen a cloud that looks like Simba from the lion king. and also i saw the cloud that was the tree of life encircled in the sky( it was a cloud.) These are a few more of my visual "Hallucinations."


I also get auditory hallucinations; I was meditating and a female voice came to me and had said " Its nothing." and "Isis.".... i was thinking about how bad the voices in my head are and the female voice came back to me and said " I Know." I was thinking evil things and the voice came back to me and yelled at me for it.

I would go outside to pray in secret and UFO's would streak across the sky as a sign for me to see. i asked outloud if the good angels knew all about this situation and two streaks of light flew at breakneck speeds in the sky. I would ask if there are good angels and bad angels and a streak of light went across the sky.

I also have tactile hallucinations, which means i hallucinate the feeling of touch. Usually i feel a tingling sensation all around my crown when i think or ask things in my head.Some people call this sensation asmr but my psychiatrist says its a tactile hallucination.
I am on anti-psychotic medications for schizoaffective disorder for which I get an injection every month of fluphenazine, Schizoaffective means you have schizophrenia and have anxiety and depression. So now my psych doctor has me on xanax.


I really believe that i had either died or had a near death experience. I had some kind of stroke and fell down in the hallway and i saw a bright white light. the next thing i know i have the crown of thorns being jammed onto my head. When the experience was over i got up off the floor and my whole body was in excruciating pain and i had told myself " I just died."



This happened on Thursday September 29th 2011. I believe the sign in revelation of the woman and the dragon happened on this day. With the constellation Virgo as the woman because their are 12 stars in her head region, and the constellation hydra which covers one third of the zodiac is the dragon.






Venus is called the morning star in ancient literature and venus was in the womb of virgo on this day, with the moon under her feet, it is generally accepted that the woman of this sign (virgo) gives birth to jesus(bright morning star, venus). and Hydra stands before the woman ready to devour her child.

The Bible explains the purpose of the sun, moon and stars in the first chapter of the Bible. God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them be for signs, seasons, days and years (Genesis 1:14). The Bible groups the sun, moon, stars, planets, comets, etc. together, generally their purpose is to be lights and to order time, but one of their purposes is to be for signs.[6] The word sign in the Bible in its simplest form is used synonymously with our word picture.[7] The stars form pictures that we call constellations, in a connect-the-dots fashion. The Bible mentions constellations, some by name: the Bear, Orion, Pleiades.[8] The sign for the tribe of Judah was a banner with a picture of a lion for the Lion of the Tribe of Judah.[9] The constellation associated with Judah is Leo, which is Latin for lion.[10] From the context sign not only means picture, but has a clear relation to time, because of its association with seasons, days and years. So to summarize one of the purposes for the sun, moon and stars is to be pictures marking particular times.

Thats why they say "As Above, So Below."
and "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven."

It can be scary having mystical experiences, especially when they coincide with astrological events. I know it can be scary because I had an NDE or something on the winter solstice lunar eclipse of 2010. Since then I've been awakening.

There is always more than one way to look at things. What you have to decide is how you want to look at all this.

👣

I have so much crazy crap that comes into my head at night. Last night I saw a clear image of a book titled "jesus by the numbers" by L.L. Dinks. It was so vivid but I couldn't find anything on amazon or google matching that the next day. That's just one example of many. I just ignore all that junk unless I can find a proper use for it.

Your not crazy you have just been given more pieces of the puzzle and need to take the time to put it together that was GOD'S message to you its your goal mission and so on to do your due diligence and figure it out.

a reply to: Belcastro

I agree with Blue Mule, having mystical experiences can be rather unsettling. The signs generally give you an idea of where you are on your "path". Try and keep from adding right or wrong, and emotions to the signs. Signs are colored subjectively by lots of different things. You are the one in control. If you don't want signs in the shape of UFOs or other, choose to communicate/learn a different way.

Those tingling feelings are not hallucinations!! They are your subtle energies!! Like goose bumps. This is also a different way of communication. Usually if I am getting subjective information I will get tingling on the right side of the head and or body. If I am getting pure objective informative the left side tingles. If there is some deep seeded information my whole body will tingle and will come and go in waves. Like when I am building joy energy, I will get it in waves. You have to start paying attention to when they come and go and then figure out what the underlying meaning for you is.

Like Blue Mule said....You have to decide how you want to look at it all.....perspective! Leave fear behind, meditate and be and BECOME compassion, loveing-kindness, joy, and equanimity!! If you hold those thoughts in your meditations, you will blossom like a lotus flower!

originally posted by: BlueMule
It can be scary having mystical experiences, especially when they coincide with astrological events. I know it can be scary because I had an NDE or something on the winter solstice lunar eclipse of 2010. Since then I've been awakening.

There is always more than one way to look at things. What you have to decide is how you want to look at all this.

👣

Excellent post.

This is exactly what happened to you. I have good and bad news for you OP. The good is that your experience is common to a lot of people so these people can help you make sense of it and integrate it.

The bad news is that you will need the humility to accept that these hallucinations and religious themed visions were mostly projections of your subconscious. I get from your post that prophecies and UFOs are important topics for you, right? Well this is why you see, hear and feel exactly these themes. Other will see different things.

So now if you can accept this wasn't actually about religion or UFOs, but about your own awakening to your inner universe, if you can humbly accept you don't know much about what happened to you, but that you are willing to learn, I have a few recommended readings for you.


The first one is an introduction to what happened to you:
www.amazon.com...

The second one is a website with a wealth of clear yet informative information on the mystical journey:
www.themystic.org...

The 3rd is a much more serious and heavy book on the subject if you want to expand your understanding of the history of mysticism:
www.amazon.com...


Take care of you on your journey!

a reply to: Develo

Glad to see I'm not the only Underhill fan around here!

Her wisdom and knowledge has helped me tremendously.

Belcastro, I strongly recommend you pick up her book.

Oh, and...



👣

a reply to: Belcastro

It's interesting that your experiences are connecting Isis and Venus. Do you understand the endogenous connection between the two?

The "Queen of Heaven" is Isis in her respective culture. Different cultures in the region named the Queen of Heaven differently, such as with Inanna and Astarte, both of whom are represented with Venus.

Just letting you know in case you hadn't connected the two.

a reply to: Cuervo

I don't see the connection you talk about.

OP connected venus with revelation.

YOU connected venus with isis.


If you encourage this kind of thinking (making connections when there were none) you stray away from the mystical path and risk to embark yourself on a journey to self delusion.


That danger is known too by the tradition and described in the books Ilinked. Don't fall for it OP. Don't project too much your desires and beliefs to the world.

originally posted by: Develo
a reply to: Cuervo

I don't see the connection you talk about.

OP connected venus with revelation.

YOU connected venus with isis.


If you encourage this kind of thinking (making connections when there were none) you stray away from the mystical path and risk to embark yourself on a journey to self delusion.


That danger is known too by the tradition and described in the books Ilinked. Don't fall for it OP. Don't project too much your desires and beliefs to the world.

The OP mentioned the voice saying "Isis" to begin with. I didn't bring it up out of the blue.

a reply to: Belcastro

How long ago did the auditory hallucination mentioning Isis happen?

As for the voice, well my guess would be its your subconscious possibly reacting to whatever your thinking, however it may have taken shape by what ever believe that you have accepted. Also, one's voice inside their head could be completely different to how one actually perceives how they speak. Like how woman think their voice is rough, or how men think their voice sounds feminine or even childish for both sexes.

Luckily for you, it sounds like your angelic side, is more dominant, so it more or less your morality affecting it decisions. I wouldn't be too concerned about what it says since, it becomes more tedious then you'd like to think. I wouldn't try to be too concerned about it, be more or less concerned about how to ignore it really. I'd be more or less interested in stuff like blood pressure, or calming racing thoughts and such to help shut it up.

If only mine worked like that...

O, the streak across the skies, their great when you need a little inspiration at times.