more from nat the blue eyed cat*

Howdy you all. Hope this day is bringing love and happiness. I've written just some basic poetry poured out from my soul. I do suffer from depression at times and writing helps me release my sorrows within.

*lines of sorrow have been crossed
Does the future of tomorrow hold?
Many things in my mind feel lost
I try my hardest just to be bold
I fall and crumble against the sea
Mind keeps playing tricks
Wanting things to mend and be
No good thoughts even stick
Fly away to be with the birds
Soaring around only with lil cares
Can't do that if ya heard
My human suit is all that bares
I try to find my minds well
Having trouble though, is it there?
Everything's hazy though, I can't tell
Minds eye has one blank stare
One day at a time is what I do
The day will come, I won't feel blue

*Set the list
I can't miss
Any opportunity
For me

*darkness surrounds the fears of my past
Death lurks around every corner ..no boast
Could this be the very end
I just may think so my sweetest friend
Darkness takes over
Look over your shoulder
There it is
Sits pissed
Demon that is
Laughing at this
Grabs you by its dreadful mouth
Laps you up ..from the south
Take me now
Don't say how
Snatch me quick
Before I stick
This ground has no solid form
I'm broken dead and all deformed
That's okay.. It's supposed to be
Blind me now so I can't see

*I just built my well up higher
tears nor fears can flow over
I wallow in all my transgressions
I'm no fool.. No more confessions
I deserve what comes to me
Karma calls and it's all for thee


*Gather the ridges off my head
Take me away, let me be dead
I'll go to sleep and never awake
take me god for goodness sake
My heart falls out again and again
It's pouring outside , I see the rain
Let the floods come an wash me away
Dried eyes crack and are blind to stay
Rocks are tied now to my feet
I jump in the rivers and I sink
Water fills my lungs with such ease
I'm finally dead.. Final release

*If we all died right now .. How would it be
Take a whole look at all of me
I want death to take me now
I won't ask questions or wonder how
Constant tears flow from my face
I feel battered, lonely and only disgrace
I say what I feel but it's not taken
I try to release.. All I feel is a beckon
Tell me I'm no good
Tell me I'm no good
Cast away the evil ... Deep within
All the crimes and sorrows of my sins
Breathing heavy
Drops a levee
Eyes droop
Glare a stoop
Take me as I am
I cannot stand
Heart falls away from it's place
I have no name... I have no face

*Why do we even fuss and fight?
We don't have a reason or a right
It breaks my heart to it's core
Our egos tryin to settle some score
I say this and you say that
Why battle ..when we can in fact..
Be peaceful with one another
And be simply kind to each other
Take my hand ..let us walk if you will
Breath in this earth and see the trees still
Open your mind
Open your soul
Open your eyes
Open your love
Show the ones around that you are true
Let this world become one.. no longer blue


*I have to stop drinkin
My mind isn't thinkin
Mom drank herself to death
That's what I'm doin to myself..
If I keep this up,
I'll have no hope
Gotta stand tall
Don't wanna fall
My mind needs to truly think
put it down .. that poisonous drink
Have the power to overcome
Strength at will .. shall succomb
Weakness within ..certainly will pass
Emotions inside weren't meant to last
I need power and I need love
I shall succeed .. I'll rise above

*Battle inside has been ignited
Blind eyes cracked ..nothing united
Ice cold heart resides in this shell
Living my own creation -of personal hell
Demons and angels claw for my soul
Evil prevails -It's always so cold
You think burning alive is actually hot
Mind bending- spirit quenchin- simply distraught
Catch a feeling
Make it real
Feeling I want
I just can't steal
Head is wrecked
Whiplashed neck
No voice to hear
No ones a dear
Aching inside I cannot bare
Dead eyes staring -blank stare
Take what you want
One constant taunt
Wretchedness dwells inside me
No one has a lock or a bent key
Vindictive creatures devour me all
I stumbled- I crumbled.. Down I fall


*Questioning
Wondering
Truth
Weeping
Silence
Truth
Dull
Numb
Truth
Aching
Wailing
Truth
Seeing
Believing
Truth
Answers
Seeking
Truth
Memories
Past
Truth
Paranoid
Delusional
Truth
Future
Holds
Truth


Thanks for taking the time to read through my thoughts.. I am doing better an I'm seriously trying to push my demon away and be positive. I have to be a light to others. Darkness does take hold and so that's why I write it out, to get of it. Much peace to you all.
-nat

a reply to: natalia

Nat!

Another astounding poetry bomb. See what happens when you aren't here to post? Your poems build up until they go *POP* and the ATS writers guild (that should be a thing!) goes "wow! We needed that!" Right, RIGHT! Anyway, awesome writing as always.



Oh, also, glad to hear you are doing better and winning more battles than you lose. That's the trick then, ain't it.

a reply to: CagliostroTheGreat

ATS writers guild!! I like it!
Thanks kind sir and yes doing better feels better.. I just gotta keep my head up!! Positive thoughts and pour out as much love as I can and smile
Peace man ✌️

a reply to: natalia

Exactly.

Love, peace and yummy yummy Bacon grease! The trifecta of life.

Wow that was really deep. No sarcasm, 100% genuine.

Hope you find yourself and get rid of your demons.

From someone who`s been at a place very similar, I wish you all the best.

Very good poetry.

a reply to: natalia

Hello my friend! I bet you lost 6 pounds of ugly thought from that purge. I know I do when I vomit the black and dark up. Today I took pictures of pretty pink flowers on my quince bush. They reminded me of a woman's beautiful lips and they were covered in last nights rain. Each raindrop was like a glistening jewel. That's what you are to the ATS Writers Guild.
Love and peace to you! We are here for you when you need us!

a reply to: fenian8
Hey thanks
I appreciate your kind words

a reply to: grayeagle
Hello !! It was good to get all those poems out. I was in a rough patch and I have pulled and then I sink back down.. But that's me. I have a wonderful husband who helps me so much. I bet those flowers were beautiful. Peace to you as well. Enjoy every moment as it passes