I love to hate on Whole Foods

It's so damn pretentious I hate myself for going there, yet I do. I go for certain items like vitamins and a few other things, usually about once a month.

I live in ATL and we only have a few. I won't say which one I go to but it's a haul from my house. I can see the demographics change as I drive closer and closer to the store. On my healthful quest I pass lots of other vehicles, of course, and I go from mostly pick-ups and mini vans to mostly Mercedes and other luxury cars or SUVs. I go from quiet pastures and burbs to the hustle-bustle of a more urbane existence.

When I get there it's an epic battle of Mom vs. MILF. Of average vs. exceptional. Of middle class vs. elite. Of hip vs. tragically uncool. Now, don't get me wrong - I don't typically think of myself or anyone else in those shallow terms at all, this is just how I feel pigeon-holed by the experience.

Everyone just comes off as so entitled, self-absorbed and in such a damn hurry. I swear, I could cart-ram an over-coiffed grandma or a vacant hipster with an epic beard - and not feel the least bit guilty.

I don't know what happens when people enter that store but it's like some GD religious experience or something and all common sense or basic courtesy goes out the WindoW. People are barge-y, oblivious, impatient, entitled, rude - it's crazy! I need a helmet and a drink just to go shopping.

So, here is my latest coping mechanism...I troll them. So hard.

I've started dressing tacky and being kind of loud. I ask lots of questions, I'm too forward and just a tad inappropriate and - magically - the throngs of snobs part like the Red Sea as people are horrified by my lack of style or decorum and they hurry off in the opposite direction, leaving the aisles mostly empty for me to shop. And, if someone lingers, I just start coughing and hacking like I'm sick and that clears the rest out.

Don't hate me ATS, it works. I have no remorse, I left most of my money there in exchange for a little bit of good health and yet, at the check-out, they still asked me to donate to help in the global fight against poverty. I just started coughing.

Of course some, all or none of this may be exaggerated for effect, but you get my point. I hate Whole Paycheck....but I still shop there.

a reply to: kosmicjack

You make Whole Foods sound like the Wal-Mart of the upper class crowd.



I know of a Whole Foods in our area, but it's down in JoCo which would definitely fit the clientele you describe.

The one I'm waiting for a chance to check out is the Sprouts which just opened down the way from us some.

a reply to: ketsuko

So funny you should mention that! I never heard of it until today when I passed by one that just opened. I'll have to check it out.

Wow, I have to complement you on your ingenuity in fending off these people. I don't have that problem so much here, over half the people in the Coop here are just regular people. I sometimes ask questions or educate people about food chemistry in that place, I probably know more particulars than anyone working there or shopping there. Now, they might know the best brands to buy and basics of nutrition, but most do not know how it works in the body. So I get in discussions there most times and we both learn from the experience.

I do see those kind of shoppers you are talking about here though, I think they are acting that way from eating too much grass. Oh, I suppose I should say vegetables.

originally posted by: rickymouse I think they are acting that way from eating too much grass. Oh, I suppose I should say vegetables.

LOL!

Today they featured a "Paleo Bar" LMAO! It was simply roasted chicken and various roasted veggies at double the price. I LoL'd so hard at one of the signs..."Paleo Brussel Sprouts with Bacon". I swear, I wish I would have copyrighted/trademarked the word Paleo.

I like your style! Star + Flag!

a reply to: kosmicjack

Whole Foods is just for people who think they're too good to go to Wal-Mart or wherever. They spend more money so it makes them feel good about themselves.

a reply to: kosmicjack

While at the coop I sit and watch the people checking out while in line. There is a real lot of prepared food going through those registers. It doesn't make any difference if it is organic or not most times, some of those expensive candy bars and health bars are no better than the ones they are mimicking from the non-organic types. You can't eat spaghetti every day whether it is organic or plain commercial ingredients. You can't be snacking on granola bars all day long. People are just substituting organic ingredients into unhealthy recipes a lot of times, I know, we do that too once in a while.

But I never mention this to these people, half of their boost in health comes from their belief that they are doing their body better. You see your attitude does help you stay healthy.

a reply to: rickymouse

You're right, they are chronically refilling the prepared food sections and, if you take time to read the ingredients on a lot of the prepared items - they aren't exactly "whole foods".

If you let out a loud fart, that's another way to clear an aisle. Seriously though the way that place sounds they'd probably avoid me like the plague, that is if they even let me in the door.

originally posted by: Skid Mark
If you let out a loud fart, that's another way to clear an aisle. Seriously though the way that place sounds they'd probably avoid me like the plague, that is if they even let me in the door.

That doesn't work in organic food stores so well, a lot of vegetarians shop in those places, the customers are used to it.

a reply to: kosmicjack

I go there for all the tattooed bearded hipsters that work there.

Really, though... it's unavoidable if you are picky about what you eat. I only go when necessary but I think in my area, the clientele isn't quite so annoying (plus they are pretty much the same demographics as my clientele).

Usually, I just keep my head down and plow through it. At least it's not Walmart... I can't bring myself to go there anymore.

I just got back from a wild game feed at a local sportsman club. The food was great. There was a lot of varying dishes made from pheasant, deer, fish, wild boar, raccoon, beaver, partridge, coyote, and a few other animals that were shot by the members. There was not one certified organic food at this dinner, yet all was acquired from animals living in the wild around here. The land they grazed on was not certified and I would guess that the foods they stole from people's gardens or fed them by hunters or DNR winter feeding programs was not certified.

But it sure was good food. I took my granddaughter and her boyfriend. They really enjoyed the food. I don't need a certified organic label on my food but I am picky as to how the foods were raised or grown. Organic veggies often taste a lot better than commercial veggies. We usually buy organic celery and carrots all the time because these two seem to be lots better. Organic iceberg lettuce is so good but it is really hard to find here. It is not bitter.

a reply to: kosmicjack

Yep I know that type. I owned a health food store for years, I started to think vitamins make people crazy. Here in Myrtle beach we have this really annoying Meher Baba cult, so annoying, like witnesses or that sort, they drove me crazy, the majority of customers were cool but lots were too far from reality.

I have been shopping at whole foods lately but only as a last resort. SLC is dreadful when it comes to trying to shop for healthy food. I am very strict about what I eat, especially he type of meat I eat. My motto is happy animals make for healthy meat. Unhappy animals make you sick.

Anyways I guess I am a bit spoiled. I am so used to having REAL health food stores, that I feel like i am slumming it by having to go to whole foods. They are over priced, their selection poor, and their quality isn't that great, besides you have to read the labels. The health food stores in the previous two states I lived in wouldn't allow non organic fruits or veggies and had a way better selection of them.

Lets not get started with their meat department. They sell meat that wouldn't pass inspection where I come from. Whole Foods is for people who think they know about eating right and think they have knowledge about where their food comes from. But when you are desperate like me....otherwise I wouldn't step foot in a whole foods.

~Calstorm aka Food Snob to the Core

What's really weird is that we have a great store called The Natural Grocers that's just a couple miles from the Whole Foods store. Their produce is organic, and it's just as good as Whole Foods', at half the price or even less. They do a decent business, but Whole Foods is always packed. People will pay twice as much for the same stuff.

a reply to: kosmicjack

This might be a sign of my impending old age but I remember living in Austin back in the early 90's when the Whole Foods was little more than a converted house. Small space, lightly dusty shelves full of brand names they no longer carry and a tiny produce aisle. It used to be such a peaceful hassle-free experience.

Now it's a gigantic mass of everything you just described perfectly.

The next time I visit family down there I'm packing my plaids and paisleys and trying the eyesore tactic.
Thanks for the heads up!

I love this thread....and your post...I love it

I try to eat healthy and I do take a few herbal supplements such as cayenne and melatonin. They seem to work for me. Is it placebo? I dunno. Maybe? But as of now the effect is real so I am doing my thing.

Our county doesn't have Whole Foods. They could never survive here with the health food store and the big co-op who have foods that are infinitely better than Whole Food at a third of the price. Then every Saturday...BAM here comes a veritable circus of French Market trucks selling just made/just picked fruit and veggies.

Not enough? Fine, I'll just go to the butcher shop at the humongous university down the street to get amazing meat that sells for very little because the meat science department is practicing

Good luck Whole Foods...I don't need your pretentious BS and overpriced fruit that seem to have gone bad between starting my car and arriving at my front door

Love this thread