The thought of a relationship depresses me.

originally posted by: TrueBrit

a reply to: Galadriel

Galadriel,

I'm no Mr Darcy or anything. Just a dude trying to get through life without succumbing to the bleakness of it all. If there is one thing that growing up in a divided household teaches, it is the value of real love, and the worthlessness of practically everything else. That is why, when I fall for a woman, I fall this hard:

www.abovetopsecret.com...

If I weren't already a happily married woman, True Brit....

To the OP: Just be true to yourself, and don't worry about what you think you are "supposed" to do. I was happily single during my twenties and the first half of my thirties with only a couple of what you would call "serious" relationships - and I pretty much faked my way through them. By the time I was 34, I wasn't really interested in dating anymore, and assumed I would never marry. I just never came across anyone who rocked my world - until I met my husband. It took a few years for him to work out some personal issues, but we married when I was 39, and that was 15 years ago.

You just never know what the future holds ...

a reply to: muse7

My conclusion for that is "Sex and Ditch"

Good Attributes :
- No relation ship
- No Nagging
- Saving $$$
- No emotional issues
- Fun
- Switching partners a lot
- No need for explaining

Bad Attributes:
- Kids wont have a dad
- Lonley

So you have to choose
But since you are only 23 yo , you should go party , drink or something for maybe 2,3 years and then think about a relationship

a reply to: muse7

were you home schooled my study in life finds people who are home schooled have a hard time with relationships or dont even
want to get into them .
Not wanting to argue with ya just wondering,
I think home schooling does create some forms of social awkwardness

I have been married for more than twenty years, and value that relationship immensely. It enriches my life to an extent I cannot describe.

Yet, I am not insensitive to your (OP) feelings- I have retained the memory of a time in my early twenties when I was living alone, convinced I never wanted to be in a romantic relationship, and was perfectly happy alone. The prospect of engaging in all the complications of living with another person was not enticing at all.

Then I met my husband, and he was quite driven and insistent, and I ended up in a whirlwind of relation, and having to deal with interdependence- which was as difficult as I thought it would be, and I sometimes mourned the simple years of being alone.

But!

I found that relationship of this sort is a skill. Just as if you decided to undertake learning to pilot a plane, or do rock climbing, learn martial arts, or sailing, scuba diving, to play an instrument, learn to dance, there is a period of learning those basic skills that must be done before you get to the really fun part!
Maybe that 10,000 hours rule applies? I don't know. But what I found is that it is exactly the same as undertaking those types of skills, in which a period comes when all that seems difficult at the beginning is integrated as automatic reflexes, and you just get creative and doors open to exploring the world in ways that you couldn't before, and that make living AWESOME.

Ways which make this world an life so much richer, it inspires you to want to even go into other skills or disciplines, (that you know will be terribly difficult at first) because you know rich rewards will come of them.

It becomes a conduit to investing yourself more in the outside world in general.

I am in my late forties now, and my husband and I have always retained quite a bit of independence anyway, and at this time, he has a job which takes him far away for many days each week. So I get my alone time that I need. But we also really appreciate when we get back together. We have a relationship built in which we each know each other and don't need to force anything. We fall into sync without effort and only bring each other happiness and support. It wasn't always that way, but it sure was worth the years of effort to build!

When you start to get older, and the physical body begins to show weakness, that is really valuable. You get to where you don't want to partake of the stupid games relationships entail when young, but you really appreciate having someone you can depend on.
I'd hate to start that whole process this late in life! In would be even more difficult than when I was in my twenties!
(I always feel really sympathetic for people who end up divorced at this age, and have to do that).

originally posted by: sweets777
a reply to: muse7

were you home schooled my study in life finds people who are home schooled have a hard time with relationships or dont even
want to get into them .
Not wanting to argue with ya just wondering,
I think home schooling does create some forms of social awkwardness

With respect, it has nothing to do with homeschooling - it has to do with one's personality.

I have known people who home schooled who were very outgoing as adults, having no problem with relationships at all.

I was never home schooled, and I am very introverted. It's just the personality I was born with.

Since I have been home schooling my daughter, I noticed that she has actually become less shy and introverted than she was when she was going to a large public school. I think she got intimidated and a little lost among all the kids at the school, which made her draw into her shell more.

a reply to: zazzafrazz

totally agree. there is nothing wrong. Don't hurry your life. I was the very same earlier. Not a single girl could occupy my life for more than 2 months, since I was getting bored however beautiful and smart she was. I was nagging at myself for that for I knew how many girls were left unhappy because of me and I used to think that I would never be contented with any woman in this world. but that was the matter of time, apparently. since I met a girl who stirred something in my soul. she just found out that switch-on button. and I fell for her. I did. I dont know how long this will last and I am very afraid that one day I can loose this sense of affliction again. But I enjoy it now. Maybe the same story is looking forward to happening with you.
dont want to look like a spammer, but just in case someone might need it: I met her at one of the dating sites (mymagicbrides.com...). Maybe this will be helpful for you, guys, as it was for me.

It's OK, the older you are the situation will become normal.
Just keep moving forward