Leaked report: Israel acknowledges Jews in fact Khazars; Secret plan for reverse migration to Ukrain

a reply to: MysterX

To be honest, i haven't checked into this for myself yet, but If this is actually true, then colour me an anti-semite then!

It's not true, but by all means cop to your Anti-Semitism if you want.

Please read this comment from the blog:

Scott Pritikin · Top Commenter · NIU
OK people, here it is.... for the very last time-- THIS IS A PARODY or SPOOF written in the tradition of the Jewish holiday of Purim. Purim is celebrated with unbounded levels of joyous merriment and foolishness including April fools like parodies or spoofs such as this one penned by Jim Wald.

At the very top of the parody the dateline listed is from Jerusalem and Zhitomir (a city in West Ukraine), 16 March/Adar II 14--which is the secular and Hebrew date in which the holiday of Purim is celebrated. An obvious giveaway at the very beginning of the spoof.

The author provides many subtle hints throughout indicating this is a parody. The author lists one of the correspondents filing the story as Hershel of Ostropol, a 19th century Ukrainian and a prominent figure in Jewish humor and a noted prankster. Unless you have a time machine or can re-animate the dead, Hershel of Ostropol would not be available to comment on this story, let alone file the report.

"The small-scale successor to the medieval empire of Khazaria (as the peninsula, too, was once known) would be called, in Yiddish, Chazerai." The word Chazerai is Yiddish meaning unattractive or unappetizing food or articles, i.e. feces or trash.

The author says "Given the confluence of the weekend and the Purim and Saint Patrick’s Day holidays, reporters scrambled to get responses" i.e. everyone was too drunk celebrating the holiday of Purim to comment. The author says "Members of the YESHA Council of settlers, some of them evidently the worse for wear after too much festival slivovitz." Slivovitz is plum brandy usually consumed on the holiday of Purim.

One website listed in the parody by the author is called "DAFTKAfile". There is no website of this name. The author is using a tongue in cheek attempt at humor based on the website intelligence/rumor website DEBKAfile and using the English word "DAFT" -- 1. informal foolish, simple, or stupid: 2. a slang word for insane: 3. informal extremely fond (of) 4. slang frivolous; giddy

The author also uses the Yiddish word "YONTEF" meaning HOLIDAY as part of a Hebrew name “Menuchem Yontef Jews”: “M. Y. Jews,” for short--- i.e. MY JEWS.

One of the fictitious people quoted is Judith Buntler, who doesn't exist (if you don't believe me, just try a Google search of "Judith Buntler" in quotations). This is a play on the name "Judith Butler" an anti-Israel American philosopher and gender theorist who's fictitious and meaningless rambling quote about ‘being Khazarian.’ was an homage to something she probably said about gender identity or Zionism.

The author quotes Anti-Israel BDS leader Ali Abubinomial, "Abu" in Arabic means father and a binomial is a theorem describing the algebraic expansion of powers. There is no person named "Ali Abubinomial" and this is an obvious joke about an anti-Israel Arab seeking an expansion of power.

The author also speaks of a Pecheneg Liberation Organization (PLO). The Pechenegs were an ancient people forced to leave their Central Asian homeland between 800 and 895 CE. This is a homage to the Jews forced diaspora from Israel by the Romans and a spoof on the Palestinian Liberation Organization (PLO) and their "from the river to the sea..." motto, which was humorously changed to “From the Black to the Caspian Sea, We’re Gonna Find Somebody to Free!”

The author quotes a fictitious person named "Myron Benvenuti." There is no such person as Myron Benvenuti. Benvenuti is an Italian word meaning "welcome."

A Palestinian woman is quoted as saying... " We all long for an agreement but just cannot see how to achieve it. For now, all we can see is this Chazerai." Again, the word "Chazerai" is Yiddish meaning # or nothing of value. Palestinians don't often speak Yiddish.

Admittedly it is difficult to find much that is humorous in this Purim parody/spoof, but anyone with any level of intelligence and/or background on the subject can clearly tell the author is attempting to use history, current events, politics and anti-Semitic mythology to be humorous, he's just not very good at it.

Enough already. Please move it to [HOAX!] Too many people have taken it too seriously to be in LOL.

originally posted by: DJW001
a reply to: Britguy

So some say that it's satire, they are not Khazars and have no claim to anything in Ukraine.

It is satire directed at people like you, who deny Jews their very identity by attempting to "prove" that they are not "really" Jewish.

I don't attempt to deny anyone their religion (or freedom to practice it), which is what Judaism is. However, the Jews are NOT a race, they are simply followers of one of the many religious beliefs on this planet. Accordingly, for them to claim that land belongs to them and to murder, oppress and militarily occupy that land is wrong, and I judge them by their actions. I am not anti-semitic, but I am anti-A$$hole!

They have NO claim to any particular piece of land, any more than I could murder the royal family and lay claim to Balmoral and the land it sits on, being half Scottish.

originally posted by: Britguy

originally posted by: DJW001
a reply to: Britguy

So some say that it's satire, they are not Khazars and have no claim to anything in Ukraine.

It is satire directed at people like you, who deny Jews their very identity by attempting to "prove" that they are not "really" Jewish.

I don't attempt to deny anyone their religion (or freedom to practice it), which is what Judaism is. However, the Jews are NOT a race, they are simply followers of one of the many religious beliefs on this planet. Accordingly, for them to claim that land belongs to them and to murder, oppress and militarily occupy that land is wrong, and I judge them by their actions. I am not anti-semitic, but I am anti-A$$hole!

They have NO claim to any particular piece of land, any more than I could murder the royal family and lay claim to Balmoral and the land it sits on, being half Scottish.

JEws/hebrews are a EYHNICITY as well as a religon. Notice i said ETHNICITY which is NOT RACE. There are no Races but one on this planet. The arabs in the days of muhammed used to to like the current israeli leadership does. SO turnabouts fair play to be perfectly honest.

a reply to: Britguy

They have NO claim to any particular piece of land, any more than I could murder the royal family and lay claim to Balmoral and the land it sits on, being half Scottish.

Then neither do Arabs, just because they are Arabs. What's the problem, then?

Jews are not Khazars any more than Japanese. Judaism is a religion and was considered one until the late nineteenth century when Zionism appeared. You can not stereotype one Jew as a Khazar when Jews come from all differnt backgrounds. Half of Israeli Jews don't even originate in Eastern Europe, they are Arab Jews from north Africa and the Middle East and Persian Jews and Ethiopian Jews, Indian Jews, Afghani Jews Chinese Jews. How can Israelis be categorised as Khazars when Israelis came from all over the world? It's insane.

Even within the so called Ashkenaz Jewry many descend from people who were originally from Spain that immigrated to Poland and were originally from Spain and Portugal sephardis that were not Khazars in anybodys dream.

Nonsense nonsense nonsense. Jews are as mixed as all nations, they don't come from Kazachstan

originally posted by: UmbraSumus
a reply to: Britguy

Like I suspected - It is a completely bogus story

The clues are in the correspondents names Hirsh Ostropoler and I.Z Grosser-Spass

Our Russian and Ukrainian correspondents Hirsh Ostropoler and I.Z Grosser-Spass

Times Of Israel

Hershel of Ostropol ("a prominent figure in Jewish humor")

a prominent figure in Jewish humor, the Jewish equivalent of Nasreddin and Till Eulenspiegel.[original research?] Hershele was a prankster from Ostropol, Ukraine, who lived in poverty and targeted the rich and powerful, both Jew and Gentile. Common folks were not safe from his shenanigans, either, but usually got off lightly. He is also remembered by Ukrainian gentiles as something of an ethnic folk hero,[1] who could take on establishment forces much larger than himself with nothing but his humor.

source

And the other author I.Z Grosser-Spass:

Grosser-Spass roughly translates to "Big Fun/Joke"


Big-Fun indeed


HOAX Label required !

Just so typical of the daily anti US/Israel BS threads posing as factual information.Posted only as a rallying point for the amusement of the basest of ATS members.Have at it...

there is a book called the invention of the jewish ppl read it

originally posted by: Britguy

"Israel seems finally to have thrown in the towel. A blue-ribbon team of scholars from leading research institutions and museums has just issued a secret report to the government, acknowledging that European Jews are in fact Khazars."

"So, after decades of denying the Khazar heritage of those European settlers displacing the Palestinians, they now seemingly admit it and, it seems they are now planning a reverse migration."



This is all terribly interesting..confessed Khazars..AH HAAH...

a reply to: ufoorbhunter

The academic official scientific study has made and announced the statement that East European Jewry is actually of Khazar descendence;

They had converted to Judaism to avoid becoming either muslim or Xtian. It all makes sense to me..

originally posted by: DJW001
a reply to: MysterX

To be honest, i haven't checked into this for myself yet, but If this is actually true, then colour me an anti-semite then!

It's not true, but by all means cop to your Anti-Semitism if you want.

I don't think there is anything anti-semitic about standing up for one's Khazarian heritage..


Judaism is Talmudism;

a reply to: tony9802

Ok I admit there may be something to this study. Repeat something. A very tiny bit of something. So some Ashkenaz Jews have links to Kazachstan. Wow! Big news! Amazing stuff! Of course the German Jews after living in Russia, Poland etc for a thousand years have some blood from the east. All people from eastern Europe have descent from that area. Mongol/Turkic forays into eastern Europe left their mark on all the people there, there's even a country called Hungary created by them.

I think it's more likely a roles reversal. In my opinion the Khazars were more likely created from Jewish incursions into central asia. This being in the same way the Jews have lef their mark on so many asian populations either through captivity before the time of Christ and that legacy or the silk road trade that they engaged in with vigour. Places like Kashmir and especially the majority people Pathans in Afghanistan/Pakistan all trace some heritage from ancient Israel. You find people of Jewish descent all the way along the ancient silk road to China. It's really no big deal that some Kazachs share a history with Askenaz Jews.

a reply to: ufoorbhunter

Ok I admit there may be something to this study.

There is absolutely nothing to this study; it is a Purim joke, It has no more substance than an article from The Onion. Why hasn't this been move to [HOAX!] yet? It is making ATS Moderators look ignorant.

As for Ashkenazi Jews being descended from Khazars, perhaps some of them are. Because Judaism is a religion and lifestyle, there are probably a variety of "ethic strains" represented in European Jewry.

a reply to: tony9802

I don't think there is anything anti-semitic about standing up for one's Khazarian heritage.

He's not standing up for Jews, he's calling them thieving murderers.

originally posted by: DJW001
a reply to: ufoorbhunter

Ok I admit there may be something to this study.

As for Ashkenazi Jews being descended from Khazars, perhaps some of them are. Because Judaism is a religion and lifestyle, there are probably a variety of "ethic strains" represented in European Jewry.

Totally true. For starters 90% of East European Jews descend from half a dozen northern Italian ladies who were taken as wives by the newcomers fom Israel according to latest studies on DNA. Added to which many Separdics following the Inquisition were welcomed into Poland too that eventually became Ashkenazim.