So I have a Six Year Old daughter who thinks she's my Son...

a reply to: thinline

It would've been so easy if the world was this black and white. The whole presumption that everything is this clear cut as you picture it to be is just really ignorant. I don't agree with the idea to treat something like anorexia a known mental condition analogous to an evenly complex notion as gender. Anorexia is a destructive disease but I don't think being doubtful of your own gender or even being transgender is destructive. The only reason it could be destructive is because other people are so opinionated about it by applying strict social norms, and even religious norms, to situations that isn't really their business. I would definitely get help for something as destructive as anorexia but in this situation it really depends on how the rest of the world will inflict damage onto the child and how the child is capable of handling being 'different' by society standards.

originally posted by: Vaedur
F..ing thank you. You seem to get what I'm going through now and you also seemed to live what I honestly fear. Before the "I'm a boy" I think it was always I'm in love with the Little Mermaid or some Disney Princess was her girlfriend.

No problem. But you seem to be on the right track. Main thing as others have said, just always be there for your child. Again I hope it's just a phase and your daughter and you (and family) do not have to go through such a tough thing.

Also, thank you for your post, it makes me feel I am not alone as a father who was afraid to cope with this, but really, my child went from just an average "tomboy" to lesbian then to full blown transgender in a quick 2 years time. I had no worry before that as she was dating boys, it happened so, so fast. But with your child being only 6, there's no need to panic just yet. I wish you all the best.

a reply to: Vaedur

Just love your child. As parents that's all we can do. We can't force another person to be something, or someone else, even if they are our children.

And everything will work out.

I am really feel'n for you, my friend, but I just want to encourage you. Don't lose hope. Things will improve. Just don't feel like you need to reinforced her belief. Kids have an incredible imagination, and that's exactly how I would treat it.

If you'd consider prayer, I actually had my 4 year old daughter prayed for after experiencing all kinds of freakish things with her. She hissed and growled while being prayed for, but now she's normal, and no more freaky stuff.

I lost my whole post. Damn it!

a reply to: Vaedur

Just explain to her, that she might have been living many past incarnations in male body, so she got used to it, and that feels natural to her, and her all-new female body that has been aligned with the etheric body and astral body to express femininity, as well as her brain that will have more white matter than grey, IS her new body now.

She can still identify herself as a 'male' internally, as far as her deeper identity goes, but she will always be a 'woman' during this incarnation, no matter what she does (mutilating the genitals and using hormones does NOT change your energy or brain gender, or kill the female instinctual side, which is what the gender mostly consists of anyway - the rest is just an expression of the gender).

Messing up with hormones, trying to fight your Karma and your life choice that you made before incarnating, will only mess you up, you suddenly have still the female urges and instincts, but the additional unnatural reactions that the hormones create, plus the identity crisis and mix-up, plus the environment's reaction to your changes - and mutilating your body simply damages it, it can't really and truly turn your physical body from an actual male to an actual female body, or vice versa. It can LOOK like a relatively acceptable replica after an enormous effort, but it's not exactly the same (there's never going to be the exact same nerve pathways, for a man-to-woman-example, or the exact same feeling from orgasms, or the exact same features, like being able to give birth, or menstruate or or or etc. Same of course goes when you do it the opposite).

I think it's best to just ACCEPT the gender you are incarnated into, after all, it's not YOUR gender, it's just your bodies', brain's, instincts', and the energy flows' gender. Soul has no gender.

Also, it's best not to focus too much on the gender - it's what it is, and they are the cards you chose and you were given, deal with it, and learn to live with it, and then find something that interests you and focus on that. Unless gender dynamics and sex-change-attempts really interest you.

The ONLY way your daughter (who is too young to even know the implications of what she's talking about, or make this kind of decisions - funnily kids never talked about this stuff a few decades ago, as far as I know. It almost sounds like some feminist got to her and force-fed these 'sexual' thoughts to her, like they always do - they mess up everything) is ever going to change the gender she is now living in, is to either reincarnate or just leave the physical body.

You can't make a male body out of a female body - it's not an electronic build-it-yourself kit, it's an organic-energetic-etheric-astral-causal-mental-soul-filled living entity. What she has is what she gets, and that will only change after she permanently leaves the current physical body.

If you can explain it to her, that it might be uncomfortable and doesn't feel natural, but we all have to go through it at some point or another, and it's more brave to actually just endure it and go through life as a something that feels uncomfortable, than to try to customize everything to her liking, like a spoiled child. I mean, we didn't incarnate to have a paradisic holiday, we came here to pay karmic debts and to suffer, learn from life's lessons and all that.

Life is not supposed to be an easy walk in the park!

Besides, how about teaching your kid patience? Why the rush to change gender? Why can't she change it between incarnations? Perhaps she will learn to like it, after enduring it for awhile, and choose to incarnate again into a female body, to get more practice. We can't escape our destiny, although we can live in illusions that we have done so, but it never works.

Have you ever met those 'gender-changed' people? At least take your daughter to a comprehensive tour, from the most failed ones to the most successful ones, and then talk about the psychological problems that will almost certainly arise if she makes this an obsession and mutilates her body accordingly and expects her surroundings to simply accept that now she's a man all of the sudden. She will never seem very manly, because even the most butch female seems like a weak, nerdy and wimpy man at best, if they try to masquerade as men (some lesbian hag even wrote a book about it - it's quite revealing, but at the same time, she gives a lot of misandristic comments in the end).

There's just no way to cross that bridge now, it's burned down already. You can jump in the water and struggle your whole life to get to the other side, but even if you do, you won't be the same, and the current has taken you to a completely wrong direction, you will never find back to where you wanted to go, and in the end, you will realize you never actually crossed the river, you just got confused by the waves and actually swam back to the shore.

Gender can't be changed.

However, I am all for freedom of ROLES. People should never be forced to live in any roles, and they should usually only utilize their gender roles, when they are in the mating / coupling process. Other than that, it's not much use to be overly masculine or overly feminine, a gender won't help you dig a ditch or program a game (but for some reason, mostly men seem to be doing these things.. ).

The world is messed up, and it'd be best for your daughter's lifestyle, if she didn't try to even identify herself as a man - I mean, men do all the dirty work, they are expected to automatically offer their services, especially for women, for free, everywhere they go, and everywhere a woman wants help (not even needs - just, wants). Men are expected to lift the heavy objects for women, put their shelves together, install their software, repair their cars, rooves (yes, it is the correct spelling, though a tad obsolete) and computers, dig their ditches, and so on and so forth. Men are expected to pay everything everwyhere, and men are ABSOLUTELY required to work, work and work.

Whereas women are not. Women can choose to work, become a housewive, a welfare mom, a single mom, become an artist, or some combination of these.

Men are expected to work, work and work. Those are pretty much the choices.

To WANT to be a man, she has to be either crazy or not realize what she's saying. Still, we have all made our choices, and karmically speaking, incarnating into a male body is a very effective, but a very tough choice.

Men are, by the way, also the scapegoats of the world, the targets of ridicule, the stupid, clumsy oafs that are easy to laugh at and kick in the nuts. You can never say the same things about a woman that you can easily say about a man.

A quote from Seinfeld: "I am not a lesbian - I mean, I hate men, but I am not a lesbian!" .. nice laughter, heh, heh.

How about if a man said: "I am not gay - I mean, I hate women, but I am not gay!" .. *shocked gasps* *silence* *FURY!*

There's no equality on this planet - at least in the actual reality.

She's better off leaving her gender as is, and just taking it .. like a man! (:

When you bring somebody into the world you never know what you're going to get. They have their own minds separate from you despite their origins.

Its best to accept them as they are. Unless you want more conflict in theirs and your lives.

You can be concerned, but don't let it eat you. As others have said before, all you have to do is be there for your child, whether they want to be your son or daughter. On youtube, there is a documentary about a little boy who was born a girl, and his parents support him all the way.

It would help if you get in touch on forums with parents of transgendered children, just so you can get an idea of what to do and expect. Sometimes it can be a phase...I'm FtM trans, but I still dress in girly clothes to keep up appearances to my family.

I wish the best of luck for you and your daughter/son.

a reply to: Vaedur
First of all, she is not 'your' daughter ... sure, you and your wife provided her the body she's got, but she is a sovereign being just like you and I. She and her soul are on an evolutionary path ... she came in to your family either because of biological karmic ties or by choosing you two as parents because you could give her the experiences she needs in this lifetime.

Most likely she's been in the male form for most of her incarnations ... so she feels less comfortable in a female body.

Your job is to stand by and allow her the freedom to express herself however she chooses to. She will do just fine ... and so will you.

a reply to: Vaedur

Where do you think she got this from? Probably school. Personally I'd pull her out and send her to private school or home-school her. Public school is insane.

You don't do anyone favors by pretending their delusion is real. Believing in something that isn't so is mental illness. If she has girl parts and there are no hidden anatomical issues, she is a girl and it does no good to pretend otherwise.

If she says it's because she likes to do boy stuff, she needs to know that there is no such thing. Being female is a biological fact but it has almost nothing to do with what she likes to do on the playground or what she can be when she grows up. Ask her what she thinks is the difference between boys and girls. I bet it's not the genitalia.

However, keep in mind that when I was little I insisted that I was Swiss, a robot, invisible, a princess, etc.

Thanks for a thought-provoking question. Most people are giving the best advice, which is to love her. But as her parent and guardian, I believe there are certain things you can do to help.

I read some time ago that there was a direct link between GMO foods and gender dysfunction in animal studies. So, I would consider putting your daughter on a strict organic only diet, and probably eliminating wheat, which has been genetically altered in so many cases beyond its original state. You might want to do some research into this.

I was intrigued by what a poster above said about only our first-world high-tech culture has this problem with gender dysphoria, that third-world cultures are not suffering the same confusion. He blames media and programming (which I agree with), but it's also worth remembering that Americans have been the guinea pigs of a giant experiment known as GMO engineered foods. Get your daughter off GMO foods and feed her an all natural diet; there's so much out there on diet today, there must be another poster who knows more about this than I do.

Thirdly, I would probably not subject your kid to counseling, because I have an intuition that would make it worse (this is a "problem" that must be addressed). In your mind, accept her 100 percent as a female, have entire and complete faith that she is in fact a girl, and never resist what she tells you when she says she is Jake. Just laugh playfully and go along with her make believe (it is fun for kids to make believe), but don't get even internally concerned, because kids will pick up on this, and see that it has power over you. Don't let it affect you in the slightest, aside from taking action no the ground that will be good for her regardless of her gender identity.

Finally, you have said little about her mom, but I agree that it would be great to bring her into the picture more. I know she must be really busy with the other kids as well, but maybe your wife could take your daughter out for more adventurous outings, like going to the theater, going to a movie, going to the zoo, etc., so that your daughter also sees her more in the active "player" role you mention you fulfill in the family. Maybe she just needs to bond with her mother more. This may not be easy; i never really bonded that closely with my own mother due to personality differences, but it's worth a shot.

I do think there is a huge cultural agenda at play to confuse children's gender identities and that the media is playing a huge part in this, so I would also work to ensure that your daughter is exposed as little as possible to popular media and instead that she consumes really tried and true entertainment for children that is not deliberately attempting to confuse them and make them question what they see with their own eyes.

If your daughter is in public school, check out what the curricula is. Is it Common Core? If so, you might want to research the cultural agenda of Common Core and what it teaches very young children about sexual identity. I am sorry for any children that have to endure Common Core, for so many reasons!

a reply to: blujay

"First of all, she is not 'your' daughter ... Your job is to stand by and allow her the freedom to express herself however she chooses to. She will do just fine ... and so will you."

Could not disagree more. My parents thought of me as their daughter, and I WAS their daughter. They did not just stand by and allow me to do whatever I wanted to do. I am SO GRATEFUL that they were concerned, stern when needed, appropriately involved, that they oversaw the details of my childhood activities, made sure I was properly educated and clothed, had high standards, and exposed me to spiritual, artistic, and moral values. If it were not for my parents treating me as THEIR DAUGHTER, I would not be the relatively happy and assured adult I am today.