What happens when you mix Goldilocks and ATS

It dawned on me this morning that I may have been spending too much time on conspiracy forums. Whatever. This morning my 5 yo was having breakfast as I made sandwiches for lunches. She decided she would tell me the story of Goldilocks, which is better than most of the mindless chatter that comes out of her in the morning so I let her go on with it. So I listened politely whilst being careful to not to get distracted and slice the end off my finger along with the ham I was slicing for her sandwich - I dont suppose it would have bothered her too much, we "long pigs" taste like pork, or so we have been told.

So I started thinking: the only way that daddy bear's porridge was too hot, whilst mummy bears was too cold and baby bear's porridge was just right was if daddy bear's portion was big, mommy's small and baby's in between. So baby was eating more that mommy but not as much as daddy, so, I suggest that baby bear was not really a baby anymore, he was a teenager. Aha! I smell a conspiracy!

Well, as my 5 yo went on I thought about the chairs, why did baby bear's chair break? As a parent myself, I find that I dont get around to doing everything that needs to be done. My guess is that baby bear is going through a growth spurt and his chair has gotten too small for him, but because of how hard it is to get a job when you are a bear, and how hard it is to make a new chair when you dont have an opossable thumb, he is still using his kiddie chair. And being a bit on the heavy side now the joints have started to crack and get wobbly, well, Goldilocks sitting on it and wiggling around to find the perfect spot was the last straw and the chair broke.

And the beds? Well, Goldilocks wasn't as young as you might think either. She was still innocent but had started to go through early stages of puberty herself, so as "baby" bear has started to produce testosterone, it seeps in to his bedding, even though it got washed every Tuesday, but there was still a trace amount of it in there. So. like a pheromone, she was attracted to baby bear's testosterone infused bedding. So much so that she felt completely safe and comfortable in its presence and she fell asleep, oblivious to the truth. But the truth will always get you in the end, like a love struck innocent teenage girl, she wakes up to the truth and instantly realizes that the manliness that she felt so attracted to has another side, a scary, strong and angry side. So she runs from that relationship, flees.

Who knows what will happen from here, will she get seduced by another male in time? Probably. Will she become asexual? Only 1% chance of that. Maybe she will be so traumatized by her encounter with the angry male that she will grow to fear her attraction to males and turn to females.

So Goldilocks is a story about innocence lost, how an innocent will be seduced and then find out the truth in a shocking way. It is also may about how mass media (the modern day mouthpiece of "the establishment") have lulled the masses in to a sense of security over tptb and one day will open their eyes to the shocking truth.

Or maybe I shouldn't have said "ohhh... it looks ok" to that funny looking pine mushroom I tossed in to my pasta last night.

This person has done an even better job of dissecting Goldilocks, in two other ways. I recommend that you read this to the end.
Dissecting Goldilocks

Maybe the porridge being hot wast due to temperature.....maybe they spiced it up with Texas Pete or Tabasco ? They were Mexican bears! Lol....but more then likely Goldilocks was walking through the woods smoking a joint...came upon a house, broke in, had the munchies, ate the food, and passed out.

The story has changed over the years like most fairy tales. Originally it was an old woman and not a girl and 3 bears of different sizes rather than mummy,daddy and baby.

In one version the old woman gets impaled on St.Pauls Cathedral! Nice!

Origins of the three bears