Are you happy?

a reply to: fc487

I'm sorry, but I have a difficult time grasping these Buddhist type concepts of ego vs happiness. It strikes me as being counter intuitive and essentially goes opposite to human nature. If you're at odds with your nature, you cannot be happy. This is the actually the crux of most all religion, if you get right down to it... sacrifice something of yourself, go in opposition of your nature, and then convince yourself that you're somehow happier going without.

I didn't get it as a single man and I sure as hell don't get it as a dad with mouths to feed and people wholely dependent on me for their provisions. I am a generally happy person and yes, part of that happiness comes from personal pride in all that I do. It's a matter of self respect vs self depreciation, in my opinion.

Ego may act as a brake on the experiencing of something we are not ready for yet.

Ego is not a state of being or a thing it is a tendemcy we have to act and think in self centred ways. In Buddhism, the realm ego gets stuck in is called the worldly oceon of illusion. Heres the thing, the reason its called an illusion is because when one is having inner thoughts and fantasies, that are pleasurable to ones Ego, to ones self centredness, living out ones life according to those fantasies denies the reality of the real world which involves others, and it also involves pain and suffering as a matter of course, wheras egoic fantaises and desires do not involve pain or suffering for oneself. Neither do they involve the consideration of others. Having formed inner fantasies, a strong desire arises in us to live out our lives according to those dreams & fantasies. And everyone has these fantaises and self centred desires, because thats the way this world is. But, one cannot impose ones self centred narrative on others, without inevitable conflict and suffering in a world where everyone is trying to live out their fantaises and desires. Because this is not living in reality, its living violently trying to impose fantasies on others and this causes great conflict and unhappiness in the world, and that is why it is called the ocean of illusion, because people drift about in these egoic fantaises fighting one another endlessly.

The Buddha was not concerned with God, he was concerned with teaching people the Dharma, and the path of awakening in order to be saved form the wordly cycles of suffering due to ego.

originally posted by: burdman30ott6
a reply to: fc487

I'm sorry, but I have a difficult time grasping these Buddhist type concepts of ego vs happiness. It strikes me as being counter intuitive and essentially goes opposite to human nature. If you're at odds with your nature, you cannot be happy. This is the actually the crux of most all religion, if you get right down to it... sacrifice something of yourself, go in opposition of your nature, and then convince yourself that you're somehow happier going without.

I didn't get it as a single man and I sure as hell don't get it as a dad with mouths to feed and people wholely dependent on me for their provisions. I am a generally happy person and yes, part of that happiness comes from personal pride in all that I do. It's a matter of self respect vs self depreciation, in my opinion.

Don't be sorry, I wouldn't want you you to go against your intuition. Practical necessity is the ultimate guide to what we should be doing at any one time ( in my opinion ). These Buddhist type concepts appeal to me but if they are not practical, then they are just junk.

a reply to: fc487

Yeah actually.

I feel great!

Happiness is a choice. I choose to be. You could take everything away from me, make me suffer, torture me and humiliate me.,....and I would still be happy. Lesser men would try, but I would overcome them like the nothingness they are.

I choose to be happy.

Nothing can change that.

originally posted by: funkadeliaaaa

Ego may act as a brake on the experiencing of something we are not ready for yet.

Ego is not a state of being or a thing it is a tendemcy we have to act and think in self centred ways. In Buddhism, the realm ego gets stuck in is called the worldly oceon of illusion. Heres the thing, the reason its called an illusion is because when one is having inner thoughts and fantasies, that are pleasurable to ones Ego, to ones self centredness, living out ones life according to those fantasies denies the reality of the real world which involves others, and it also involves pain and suffering as a matter of course, wheras egoic fantaises and desires do not involve pain or suffering for oneself. Neither do they involve the consideration of others. Having formed inner fantasies, a strong desire arises in us to live out our lives according to those dreams & fantasies. And everyone has these fantaises and self centred desires, because thats the way this world is. But, one cannot impose ones self centred narrative on others, without inevitable conflict and suffering in a world where everyone is trying to live out their fantaises and desires.

I couldn't have put it so precisely. It seems like posting a thread based on a narrow premise such as happiness vs. ego is a self centered narrative and like a form of violence in that it seeks to limit reality to something I've decided makes sense. Always happy to learn though.

a reply to: fc487

Well i wouldn't go so far as to say its a form of violence, but it is an over simplification that can be dangerous for some deluded people. And dont beat yourself up about it, we are all deluded in some ways, but simplifying for example the direction to the supermarket four miles walk down the road by saying something like yeah "head east before you get to the christmas tree, and then turn right and keep walking for 200 yards" it may be right, but what if that person gets losts through their many twists and turns heading east before getting to the tree? Four miles is a long way. The point isnthe path to truth, is rarely straight forward, so simplifying concpets probably isnt a good idea if you want to help someone discovering the truth your trying to communicate to them. Simplistic language is most enlightened, something we all should strive for, but simplifying concepts too much can complicate subjects even more.

a reply to: tadaman

Starred that !

" One Life ... One Driver "

(Timely - 25/11/2014)

How can I be more happy?

That's a question I've always struggled with. It is something that seems to come easier to most other people.

I mean don't get me wrong, I am blessed just to be alive and to have a house, car, wife, and people that love me. The fact that I am alive with all that I've been through the past 3 years is amazing just by itself. There are people who would kill to have what I have and there are people that are happier with less than what I have.

So whats my problem? Why do I feel so empty and angry all the time? Why can't I stand myself sometimes? Why do I only seem to recall the bad in my life? How do I get my confidence in myself and my life back? How can I be friggin happy and why the hell is it so hard?

I grew up in a very unhappy household. Mom was always trying to buy things she could'nt afford. She would be "happy" when she bought something, but soon after would be miserable again. Dad was around but always at work. He had to be to afford her spending habits. I watched both of them be unhappy all the time because they wanted "things" to make them happy and that's not how it works.

For a long time I did not even think about what it was to be happy, or how I could be a happier person. Instead I turned to drugs when I was young. For a long time thats what I thought "happiness" was. It was something that you had to snort or drink or smoke. But that's just the side effects of being happy without it really coming from within.

So now I am trying to learn what "happy" really is at its core. For a long time I would always think things like "If I just had a better house, or a better car, or made more money, or my boss was'nt such a dick, then I would be happy." But then what you are really saying is "I am not going to be happy until this or that happens."

I guess happiness is a mystery to me. Maybe solving it is the point of this life.

In religious terms I am agnostic and, though I live very frugally, I am content.

Content, I think, rather than happy.

We must all strive to be content.

I never found contentment as a Christian.

I could never find contentment in any religious belief system, since they all espouse facts which are a legitimate area for rational doubt.

Meh.... happiness is overrated.

I'm kidding. Kinda. What I mean is that there are different "levels" of emotional state, and some are deeper than others.

I would say I am happy, in a generalized way. My life has been awesome, I have had great adventures and experiences, and expect that to continue. But if I die tomorrow, I will probably smile inwardly as I flashback over it all- I never thought life would be this great, and it has gone beyond my expectations already.

That is like the bedrock state. But on top of that, I have frustrations and varying emotions throughout the day, that are shortlived. I have learned that immediate expression is part of their temporary nature- when kept inside unexpressed, they seem to stagnate and last longer within.

I had to work on a project with a coworker I like a lot, and found that others who had worked alone with him were right- he is absolutely irritating and unable to work with others. I always wondered why they grind their teeth behind his back and hate him. He seems so nice and fun when not engaged in a joint project of work.

So I told him his behavior is making me crazy, I told him why, honestly, I was not a happy camper and ready to punch him.
Yes, I was totally ego- so what? If I was going to get all worried about suppressing my ego, pushing aside it's concerns as "unenlightened" then I would have buried those feelings and would still be fighting them behind grinding teeth.

As it turned out, letting them come through opened an opportunity for us to communicate. To be able to smile and kiss each other goodbye at the end of the day (not on the lips, this is france, we do the cheek thing).

There were things he was not understanding about how others feel, things they weren't understanding about his motives and intents. It was that feeling of being not happy which broke open a dam of communication and brought about better exchange.

I think the ups and downs we experience in everyday life is not "wrong" "bad" "dark"- call it ego if you want. But ego is a part of existing and just might have it's role to play in the evolution of the soul.

I'm happy when I don't read ATS or watch television. I guess that's why they say ignorance is bliss. *shrugs*

a reply to: fc487

God created us to be happy. If you are not happy, you are something else. This something else is ego.

Well, that was nice of me! I'm sure glad I'm around.

Now I am not accusing you of unhappiness as if it were some kind of crime. The ego in me would simply be attacking the ego in you. Accusing you would make "my" ego feel better this time, while reinforcing unhappiness (ego) in general.

OF COURSE NOT... And I'm not speaking sarcastically, because that would be a rather rude offense against you... Sorry, against your ego.

So if you are not in a state of happiness right now, even if its not your fault or it is out of your control, you are in the condition we call ego.

How you get out of ego is another question. That parts a little tricky. However I have heard there are ways...

It's easy. Stay up for 36 hours and write "my ego is nowhere to be seen" 1,000 times.

All the damn time. It's been said by my co-workers that I am occasionally tired, or pissed off, but never sad. And that's probably close to being true.

God created us to be happy.

I'm awaiting proof for this wild claim/speculation.

Are you happy?

I have a bicycle, a guitar and a beautiful woman that laughs at my stupid jokes.

Blissful would be a better term; "happy" doesn't even come close.