Finally telling her about my feelings.

Thought I tell you about myself first.
I recently turned 18 and graduated High School here in NSW, Australia.

Since year 7 I had been in many of the same classes as her all the way up to year 12. I first realised I really liked her in year 8. I don't know why I felt this way, we had barely had a conversation together. But my feelings were very strong, she was beautiful, had a dark tan, very sporty and confident.
I soon realised in year 9 that I had falling in love with her. But still she didn't know. Don't get me wrong, we knew each other, it wasn't like that typical situation where "she didn't even know I existed". But I just couldn't build up the guts to tell her, I guess I was scared of rejection, because I wasn't the best looking guy out there.

I think it's worth mentioning that I did send her a valentine card, without my name on it. I'm pretty sure she knew it was from me though, more on that later.

Anyway by year 11, I found out she was into girls (I don't want to use the word lesbian cause I really wasn't sure, cause she had dated other guys. I'm all for lesbians by the way I fully support gay rights and what not).

However I wasn't really bothered, I thought it might have been a phase. By know your all probably thinking "he's so in denial", "what was he thinking", "what a loser". I know, cause when I look back that's what I think of myself.

Anyway I continued to love her, I just couldn't get over her, I didn't want to get over her, I guess that was because I really wasn't sure if we'd have a chance or not.

So I'll skip to year 12 (our last year of school). I finally came to the realisation that if something were to happen it would've happened already, however I wasn't over her at all.

We reached the end of year 12 and had our formal, where I just couldn't believe my eyes, she was beautiful, a true one of a kind. She didn't dress up like all the other girls. She wore Doc Martens instead of high heels, she wore a tuxedo instead of a dress, I had never seen her this beautiful before And I was just overwhelmed at her beauty.

Later that night I realised that it was probably the last time we'd see each other again, cause she was moving overseas to the USA. I was so sad. But I decided to let her know what my feelings were, because I probably couldn't live with myself if I didn't. So I said to her, "I thought you looked beautiful tonight" and that ever since year 7 I had admired her and that I was glad I was in the same classes as her. I told her that "I wish you the very best for the future because you deserve it." And she did deserve it because she was nice, and caring. She had strong views about feminism, and participated in fundraising campaigns.

And she replied saying you looked super fancy as well, and she said "but Angus let's be honest, was it you that sent me a secret admirers card for valentines day a few years ago?"

I was embarrassed I must admit, because it was so cheesy what I wrote. And I told her it was embarrassing but she said it was sweat. She also said it was "cool", and that I hope you get what you want out of life". I replied saying the same thing, and that was the end of the convo.

I had a few cry's the next day, just wondering if I would ever meet someone as perfect as her because she was perfect, I couldn't find anything I disliked about her. I also wondered if I'd ever get over her because my emotions were so overwhelming. I didn't know what to do. Cause I had just finished school, I'm looking for work, but in the mean time what do I do, sit at home all day and just think of her?

So I've got a question, and I'd be very grateful if people could reply and help me out.

This is going to sound so Thought I tell you about myself first.
I recently turned 18 and graduated High School here in NSW, Australia.

Since year 7 I had been in many of the same classes as her all the way up to year 12. I first realised I really liked her in year 8. I don't know why I felt this way, we had barely had a conversation together. But my feelings were very strong, she was beautiful, had a dark tan, very sporty and confident.
I soon realised in year 9 that I had falling in love with her. But still she didn't know. Don't get me wrong, we knew each other, it wasn't like that typical situation where "she didn't even know I existed". But I just couldn't build up the guts to tell her, I guess I was scared of rejection, because I wasn't the best looking guy out there.

I think it's worth mentioning that I did send her a valentine card, without my name on it. I'm pretty sure she knew it was from me though, more on that later.

Anyway by year 11, I found out she was into girls (I don't want to use the word lesbian cause I really wasn't sure, cause she had dated other guys. I'm all for lesbians by the way I fully support gay rights and what not).

However I wasn't really bothered, I thought it might have been a phase. By know your all probably thinking "he's so in denial", "what was he thinking", "what a loser". I know, cause when I look back that's what I think of myself.

Anyway I continued to love her, I just couldn't get over her, I didn't want to get over her, I guess that was because I really wasn't sure if we'd have a chance or not.

So I'll skip to year 12 (our last year of school). I finally came to the realisation that if something were to happen it would've happened already, however I wasn't over her at all.

We reached the end of year 12 and had our formal, where I just couldn't believe my eyes, she was beautiful, a true one of a kind. She didn't dress up like all the other girls. She wore Doc Martens instead of high heels, she wore a tuxedo instead of a dress, I had never seen her this beautiful before And I was just overwhelmed at her beauty.

Later that night I realised that it was probably the last time we'd see each other again, cause she was moving overseas to the USA. I was so sad. But I decided to let her know what my feelings were, because I probably couldn't live with myself if I didn't. So I said to her, "I thought you looked beautiful tonight" and that ever since year 7 I had admired her and that I was glad I was in the same classes as her. I told her that "I wish you the very best for the future because you deserve it." And she did deserve it because she was nice, and caring. She had strong views about feminism, and participated in fundraising campaigns.

And she replied saying you looked super fancy as well, and she said "but Angus let's be honest, was it you that sent me a secret admirers card for valentines day a few years ago?"

I was embarrassed I must admit, because it was so cheesy what I wrote. And I told her it was embarrassing but she said it was sweat. She also said it was "cool", and that I hope you get what you want out of life". I replied saying the same thing, and that was the end of the convo.

I had a few cry's the next day, just wondering if I would ever meet someone as perfect as her because she was perfect, I couldn't find anything I disliked about her. I also wondered if I'd ever get over her because my emotions were so overwhelming. I didn't know what to do. Cause I had just finished school, I'm looking for work, but in the mean time what do I do, sit at home all day and just think of her?

So I've got a question, and I'd be very grateful if people could reply and help me out.
I'll post the rest in a reply.

Sorry I ran the word limit. So my question is going to sound so cliche but it's genuine:
Will I ever get over her and find someone that I think is as perfect as her?
And I always see people getting into relationships and marrying, but I'm wondering where do those people meet. How will I meet another perfect person? Any suggestions? I may post another reply later because I've missed some things.

But thanks everyone in advance, I know I'll probably get haters as well but I'll try my best to ignore them.

a reply to: ThePro

Whether you find someone who is as perfect for you as you felt she was is entirely up to you. Don't let your feelings for her be the measure for other women that come along. You'll meet someone that you are attracted to, maybe not for the same reasons, but just as much.

You are young and have a lot ahead of you. Don't let this make you miserable for the rest of your life.

I have a similar story from High School.
I'm married with a 3 month old, and 33.

You will continue to love her, but you can find others you love as much if not more.

Go out and do the things you enjoy. There is where you will meet people you enjoy being around.


Do not pick up women in a bar. And do not worry about trying to find "the one" at your age. Now is the time to experience more than what your life has been up to this point.

First & foremost kudos for deciding to talk about your emotional situation; IMO there is no such thing as perfect, and I say that in the kindest way possible. If you get into a serious relationship with a person, the first thing you begin to notice is the things that make them not so perfect, and those things over time can build and possibly break even the strongest relationships..I guess what I'm getting at is you will find someone else but don't expect them to be perfect, because the girl you love is not either..it's a misconception. Love can be a wonderful thing in moderation..have love for yourself and the rest will fall into place given time.

(Btw I'm 25 and still looking for "the one", as I said it will take however amount of time it takes for you to find her)

a reply to: threeeyesopen
Thanks for the advice. I guess the thing is, and I'll be honest I've never been in a relationship before so yer I wouldn't know much about finding the imperfections.

a reply to: N3k9Ni

Thanks for replying, I'll take your advice on board and think of the future.

a reply to: randomtangentsrme

Thanks, I agree with your comment about not worrying about love just yet. And thats great you found someone else.

You will get over her , even though this might suck right now , next week you feel much better , because you start to realise you can end this chapter in your life and move on.

but a few months ago i was in the same position as you , there was this girl i really liked , but since i was 27 and never had a girlfriend and i have a huge emotional china wall i did not know how to follow the correct procedure to up a relationship to the next level.

But i gave it a shot , and crashed and burned it , wich at first caused great doubt about myself , since everything i done in life so far i done succesfull , as a school dropout i made a career by working my butt of for the company i work for , the same company i started as a 18 year old more then 10 years ago , and i was able to buy my own house , drive a nice car and have a nicely filled savings account. everything i have i build from scratch , and all by myself.

But the only thing i could think off is "why am i not good enough"

A few weeks later i realised even though being alone for 28 years , and spending the mayority of my life alone, the lonelyness has not gotten the better of me. because i still can do what i want when i want.

originally posted by: ThePro
a reply to: threeeyesopen
Thanks for the advice. I guess the thing is, and I'll be honest I've never been in a relationship before so yer I wouldn't know much about finding the imperfections.

To be honest with you, I've been in too many "worthless" relationships which is where much of my context comes from. Also regarding what you had mentioned about looks, please believe me when I say that self confidence is all you need; without self confidence you may not only have trouble finding that person your looking for, but you may also have trouble conquering life's other quarrels as well. A lack of self confidence can severely limit how far you take your life, again speaking from context..it took me some time to build up my own

You will get over her. I do not discount your feelings for this girl at all, but do feel like you felt so strongly because she was "unattainable" and yes... You did know that for years. Had you gotten her, this may very well had been a horror story instead of a hopeless love one?

Human beings have a fault wherein they really want the taste of that forbidden fruit much more than they want the low hanging fruit. It's far more tempting when we know it's something we can not have. I hope that makes sense.

You allowed yourself to have feelings for her and again... I do not discount that. It happens. But you will move on. You will occasionally look back and wonder "What If" even 30 years down the road, but hopefully by then you will have someone who will make you grateful that this situation did not work out the way you so badly wanted it to in your younger years.

I think many of us look back on our first loves and wonder what if. Even if we've been happily married for forty years. It's human nature to be curious. But again, you will find someone who will make you glad it didn't work out. Don't compare all who come to this girl because you have idolized her and likely have found her faultless, which we know is not the truth with anyone. It's hard to compete with a fantasy and most women will not do so if they are smart. It's not fair to compare in this case.

You are still young. It hurts now and it may hurt for a while... But you will make it through it like all those who came before you. It's almost a rite of passage.

Be you and the right one will come along as long as you allow her to without expecting her to be something or someone that she is not.

a reply to: threeeyesopen
Wow you are so right, I find it really hard to speak to people and smile cause of my teeth.
Thats the only thung I'm ashamed my teeth, however I am still young and I've actually got an appointment with an orthodontist not long away.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

Thank you very much, you've given me a lot to think about.
When you said that trying to obtain the forbidden fruit is our fault I agree, but the thing I found was that none of the "popular guys" tried to get her even though I thought she was perfect in every way.

And when looking at the typical girls in advertisments and just girls in general I always compare them to her and they never seem to look or act better than her.

And I honestly couldn't imagine if she liked me back id be beside myself.

Another thing though ive been thinking about is that why did i fall in love in the first place. we never even talked thats much. However i can remember faintly thinking to myself before I liked her "why dont i likee her, she looks very beautiful" and thats where it started.

a reply to: TheGreazel

That sucks thatvit didnt work out sorry about that. And its great that you have something to feel proud of - a successful career- . I havnt had any experience with relationships and thats what in scared of.

Im also scared that I will be alone forever, which I know eveyone says I wont but what if I dont fall in love again?

Thanks for the reply

originally posted by: ThePro

Will I ever get over her and find someone that I think is as perfect as her?
but I'm wondering where do those people meet. How will I meet another perfect person? Any suggestions?.

my opinion off of reading your post is...

sounds more like lust to me...

you are going to meet someone and it might not be until then that you realize that this girl was not perfect at all.
its probably going to take a while....when youre going through loss of love(or lust) you feel like it is never going to end. you feel like you will never meet anyone else.....
it does not work that way.....you will meet someone else...

i have always said that you will meet 'the one' when you are not looking...if you are actively looking you could be mistaken because you want it...
if youre going to the bars and clubs or whatever with the intention of trying to meet someone, you will. you will meet lots of someones....some people are into that thing.....not mrs right.....mrs right now...
thats not for me....

youre going to be in the grocery store or at a gas station one day and its going to happen when youre not ready for it....
might be a customer or cashier..whatever...

youre gonna catch that look and she's going to say something to you or respond to something you say and you will be floored...

trust me man

a lot of people think they are in love until it actually happens...then they realize that was not the case..
remember, love is mutual too my friend....
dont waste your life loving someone that dont/wont love you back.....

thats all i have

originally posted by: ThePro
. I havnt had any experience with relationships and thats what in scared of.

Im also scared that I will be alone forever, which I know eveyone says I wont but what if I dont fall in love again?

Thanks for the reply

even if you dont fall in love again(which you will), there are worse things than being alone....

being alone is not as bad as being in love with someone that does not love you back....

in 20 years you will be giving relationship advice to your children....

a reply to: Grovit

I see your view. I really dont want to meet anyone in a bar. And I can tell you it is love that feel I just know it. Thanks for your reply.

a reply to: Grovit

Thanks I like the positive attitude. And I'd really like to think I be doing just that in 20 years

originally posted by: ThePro
a reply to: Grovit

I see your view. I really dont want to meet anyone in a bar. And I can tell you it is love that feel I just know it. Thanks for your reply.

it may be love then...what do i know...

imo though its hard to love someone you dont really know...yeah, you went to school with her for years but did you 'know' her...whats her favorite color?
favorite song?
what kind of face does she make when she tastes something sour?
whats her birthday?
her favorite food?

from my point of view you can not love someone if you dont know details like that about them....
not knocking you

not trying to knock you at all so please dont think that....all im saying is a lot of emotions can feel like love but its not....
try to remember this conversation when you meet 'the one' and she just knocks your socks off. then you will know what i am talking about....

originally posted by: ThePro
a reply to: threeeyesopen
Wow you are so right, I find it really hard to speak to people and smile cause of my teeth.
Thats the only thung I'm ashamed my teeth, however I am still young and I've actually got an appointment with an orthodontist not long away.

You and me both on the teeth situation..I'm actually missing a few and am going to need a top denture at the age of 25..but it hasn't and will not stop me from being social because I learned when I gained my self confidence years back that if someone can't like me for who I am (personality) then it's their loss in the end, not mine..unless I wasted my time trying to make them like me