help!! my mother hates my new girlfriend. need some advice

a reply to: ^anubis^

Theres the thing in a nutshell. Youre 23 and still live at home.

1. Its mom's house.
2. There will NEVER be any woman good enough for her son.
3. You dont need her approval of your girlfriend/boyfriend anyway. Ever. Makes it easier, but you dont.
4. Move when you can.
5. Move when you can.

And lastly....to get the whole issue to become a non-issue for you...MOVE.

Get out and live your life in your own world...not in Mom's life, home and world.

*P.S. You might as well be saying.."My mom makes me get a haircut! My mom makes be clean my room! My mom doesnt like me staying up late. My mother makes me eat my peas!"

See how that sounds? Good luck....

originally posted by: ^anubis^
a reply to: ValentineWiggin

My mother knows I can, I pay her rent, I have never asked for a penny from her, last month we had a conversation where she got real nasty and told me "you're right you never ask me for anything cause you already know you can't count on me for anything"

That does not mean she thinks you are responsible.

But that's beside the point.

Move out on your own, do what you want!

a reply to: ^anubis^

If you have to ask strangers these questions, you aren't ready to get married. That's a certainty. Put that on hold. Move out and get a life of your own. In a couple years, you can reassess the marriage option. As for your mother? It's your life not hers. She has to accept that. More importantly, you have to accept that. At this point,you haven't.

You are stupid for getting married to her for:

1) Only knowing her for around three months
2) Youre 23. You think you want to settle down

Get your head out of your @ss. 3 months is nothing. 5 months is nothing. A year maybe. Are you flipping stupid? Why on earth do you want to marry someone who youve known for such a little time? You think you know her? After a couple of months? You DONT. Trust me, you dont. Youre making a big mistake.......oh wait, you already did.

Its your life. Im 23 and I wouldnt dare marry someone at 23. I wouldnt let my children marry at that age ever.

Your mom is out of line though telling you to get out of the house. I mean, its your life to be with whoever you want to be with......................

but trying to get married to some bimbo after a couple of months means youre stupid.

Sorry, cant say it nicely

originally posted by: ^anubis^
a reply to: HUMBLEONE

Lmao, you're right. The only way I see to be set free is finally being on my own.

I speak to you as a friend even though I do not know you, Let no one stand in the way of your happiness, my mother too tried to torpedo my present relationship and that was decades ago. We are still together despite anyones opinion, she is my soul mate. Follow your heart in all things my brother and to hell with everybody else. I wish you a lifetime of joy. Namaste.

Parents vicariously living their life through their children.

Her house, her rules.

Move out, manage your own household, and tell her to mind her behaviour in Your house - or you'll call the cops.

Once you're gone, who will she foister her past onto? Protection aside, this is taking helicopter parenting to new heights. You are not your father, and she needs to be told as much, in NO uncertain terms - with respect.

It's a transferrence of unresolved anger, and appears as control...

Stand on your own 2 feet, establish the boundary - but remember she is hurting...that's the issue...not you, or your choice of partners.

Good luck

Å99

a reply to: ^anubis^

I haven't read yet where someone suggested to man up and tell your mother how you feel. Why are you hiding things? Yeah you live there. Yeah she can kick you out. But why hide? Tell her how you feel, exactly, and don't beat around the bush. The one thing I hate the MOST is people who are afraid to speak their mind. You're 23. If you haven't grown the nuts yet to even tell your mom how you feel then how do you expect a relationship to work? From my experience and relationship will not work if both of you were reporting to mommy and daddy. If you want respect, get it. If you want to do what you want, do it. If you're paying rent to live at your mothers, then pay rent to live on your own. Tell her you would like to save money, just enough, to provide first months rent and deposit at your own place. Your mother can hate your current gf all she wants, but it makes no difference. Don't let people control who you are or what you want to do. If you're ex was being pushy, push back. You're a man, act like one. If you feel your current or ex gf were/is being too pushy or "making" you do things so you have to lie about them, then tell her how you feel. Bullies will keep bullying if you don't stand up for yourself. If someone is mad at you, it makes them even more mad if you are indifferent and say nothing in your defense. If you move in with the girl, don't dig yourself a hole of debt.

a reply to: ^anubis^


Even if you cheated on your ex it doesn't really matter.. if you broke up with your ex to date this one.. that means your ex didn't give you what you needed.

That doesn't mean your mother has to be happy with it.



However If i was in your shoes... I would talk it over with your mom to see if you can work things out.... if she doesn't come around at least you tried. It sucks to be at odds with your mother but your spouse is a little higher up in the hierarchy.

If something happens and you end up single.. I highly suggest you stay single for a LONG while... date but don't get too serious.

Doubt you will take the advice, it's NOt for the feint of heart. Good luck


..dont' move in together.... don't ....