Will you stay or will you go now?

I am freezing and suffering once again, another cycle, another pattern. Why? What is it about trivial creativity that is worth of all of this? I am sorry for the state of things, and not just for the misery I must endure, but for all of us. There is that tiny voice whispering that this is an illusion, that everything will be ok, but is that another trick? I am a leaf in a hurricane and I honestly don't know what to do at this point. I know I don't want to contribute to the darkness and ugliness of this world, but something really has a pull on me. Am I beyond liberation? Am I so far gone that I will never find my way home? I am afraid to do anything.

Write a story. What if it has some message I am unaware of?

Build a business. What if I am consumed by the lust for money?

Effect change on a local level. What if I am consumed by the lust for power?

Seek out hedonism. What if I am swept away by my ego?

Do something! Bear your talents into reality! Produce offspring! What if I am playing into sinister hands?

You beat a dog repeatedly and you shut it down. I don't know who could possibly be motivated by this insane system. Maybe there is nothing wrong with me. Maybe there is something wrong with your expectations about what might motivate me. Wealth, Power, Status, Fear, Anxiety, Insanity. None of this matters to me. I love this world and I love these people. I love our independence and I love our potential, but I hate deception. Full disclosure, no surprises or nothing at all. These shadow games, this darkness, this illusion must be rejected. It is, itself an absolute evil and we should not have to tolerate its presence in our lives anymore.

a reply to: Nechash

Overthinking life, are you? I find it helps to simplify. Food for the tummy and a roof over my head. and everything else is a bonus and a choice. The 'what ifs' fall away if you develop plans and goals and stick to them. My own choices involve not taking on the burdens of the entire planet but contributing to improving my own little corner of it as much as I can. All the best. It's wayyy past my bedtime. Hope I'm making some sense.

"Sleep when you're tired. Move your bowels. Eat when you're hungry. That's all. The ignorant will laugh at me, but the wise will understand."

-Rinzai Gigen

Before enlightenment .. chop wood .. carry water ..
After enlightenment .. chop wood .. carry water ..

To quote from a phrase, the source of which I don't remember, "Where does your great passion meet the world's great need?" I don't know that I've answered that sufficiently for myself, but its a great place to start.

You are saying your motivation is love? That is the best place to start of all. Sit with that. Let the heart lead you to your life's best work, best "doing." It can be simple - doesn't have to be "grand scale." It is also a path, not a destination.



peace for the journey...

- AB

a reply to: AboveBoard

I personnaly have failed in every aspect of Nechash's post to eventually find myself in yours.

Love is the one truth, it's never insignificant, it carries me now farther then any of my other quests in life. My little candles burn brighter then the greatest of stars.

a reply to: Nechash


I have three treasures to maintain and conserve:
the first is compassion. The second is frugality. The third is not presuming To be first under heaven.
Compassion leads to courage. Frugality allows generosity. Not presuming to be first Creates a lasting instrument.


- Lao Tzu

We created the world like this, its all artificial. like a game.

once you accept life is a game, you can consider that you may as well be good at playing it.

and I would agree with the others, finding love is the big twist life offers.

put yourself in a position where you are ready to accept love, and go looking for it!

a reply to: jaheki

I have broken every game I've ever played. Do you really want me playing this one?