Something in the way.

I'm 32, institutionlised and they treat me like a child. It's like they are claiming parenthood on myself, denying my freedom.

What are they afraid of? What do they think I will do? I just want to live somewhere and lead my life. They claim I have an illness that can't be healed. What the **** is that?

Out of nowhere they come to you claiming to be ill, claiming to have an illness that can't be healed but which can be a little suppressed with their medication.

I have no ****ing clue what they are talking about.

Every day I must maintain myself not going berzerk over their idiot judgements about me.

They want to enslave me, it's a daily battle. As long as I do what they tell me everything is alright, that's all they want, to keep me as a medicated slave. I've got the luggage to keep me above it.

I am not interested in these people, and they certainly aren't interested in who I am. As long as I do as I am told, that's all they desire.

With no help from family I am lost.

May death be their toll.

Modern persecution, what a pain.

It will not be forever, brother.

a reply to: Trapeze

Hi there.

Sorry to hear you are presently in hospital. I have been in the same position in the past. I have some good advice for you according to what you have shared here.

The "section" game is one that is best played by behaving oneself. My advice to myself was to do as I was told and show by my behaviour that all was ok. We only end up like this when our behaviour becomes a problem to others or we are putting ourselves in danger from ourselves.

Stay cool. You are being cared for by professional people with an agenda. That agenda is to get you well enough to function on the outside. Taking medication to help does not have to be for the long term, just while you need it.

There is always the freedom debate. I have deliberated many long hours upon what freedom is. I find that I can be as crazy or unique in my behaviour as I like as long as it does not impose negatively on others.

Do the time and make the most of it. One thing being in hospital is good for is that you will eat and sleep properly and be in a safe environment to recover where you are cared for.

Yes there is a lot of paranoia and distrust when one is ill this way. However, the real situation is that you are there for a reason and the people who are caring for you are there to help and get you well enough to function in society.

Good luck.

originally posted by: Trapeze
I'm 32, institutionlised and they treat me like a child. It's like they are claiming parenthood on myself, denying my freedom.

What are they afraid of? What do they think I will do? I just want to live somewhere and lead my life. They claim I have an illness that can't be healed. What the **** is that?

Out of nowhere they come to you claiming to be ill, claiming to have an illness that can't be healed but which can be a little suppressed with their medication.

I have no ****ing clue what they are talking about.

Every day I must maintain myself not going berzerk over their idiot judgements about me.

They want to enslave me, it's a daily battle. As long as I do what they tell me everything is alright, that's all they want, to keep me as a medicated slave. I've got the luggage to keep me above it.

I am not interested in these people, and they certainly aren't interested in who I am. As long as I do as I am told, that's all they desire.

With no help from family I am lost.

May death be their toll.

I believe you need spiritual help. Now the problem is ........ where can you find the needed help? Since you have internet, do a proper investigation and look around on the internet for someone in your area who can visit you to help you. A man or woman of God needs to lay their hands on you and pray over you, anoint you will holy water, holy oil and holy salt and then you can go about your business once again. If it does not work ...... then very simple..... that person was NOT a man or woman of God. They lacked the faith needed. This does work and very well.

Depression is spiritual sickness and not a physical sickness as well as anxiety.

God bless you.

a reply to: lonesomerimbaud

So you agree with them that I am ill.

I will tell you about my illness. I never know what is going on. People don't tell me what I need to know and everything I was told is wrong. It's like I'm in dialogue with the devil himself. In the end, everybody I have talked to wind up to be liars.

I have chosen to live for myself years ago. I adapted to such life, and then suddenly they come up to my door (cops,.. whatever) telling me I am ill, while I have done nothing wrong. I smoked weed which is legal here, we are allowed to smoke in my country. I hurt nobody smoking. And the lie they care for myself has proven many times before.

I don't need this #. They ruined my life and now I am unable to build it up again, and I don't want to conform to their reality. That's it.

a reply to: Jesuslives4u

Yea, spiritual help..

The only spiritual help I need is someone telling the truth about my life.

a reply to: Lazarus Short

I do hope so.

a reply to: Trapeze

Keep your S**t together bro.. The last thing you need is another excuse for them to hold you for longer.. Play the game and you will be out in no time. Stay positive.

a reply to: DarknStormy

Your message is appreciated. Just like Lazarus shorts.

Been there too. Remember that all your communication is being monitered and taking steps that lead you to a path of showing a wanting to understand what they claim is the problem and even studing medication and its effects can help. Knowledge pays and you have access to information on the web. Do not isolate yourself from other patients or care givers. Participate in any activites they offer and keep your mind occupied and every spare second you have you should exercise. remember it is just a matter of time and the majority of things said to you are just used to measure your response. When they say you will never get out just let it roll off the back of you and leave it up to god. He can interviene. Pray for him to be with you every step before most activities you do. Hang in there.

Im sorry. Whenever I feel down I just tell myself basically what lazurus short said. "This wont last forever. Ill feel better eventually." Smile now, cry later, cry now, smile later. Its like a roller coaster, the ups always turn into downs and the downs always turn into ups, and all over again...