Government publishes detailed instructions on how to safely roast marshmallows

Evenin' All,

Alright.
Enough is enough.
If you are a parent and you actually think that your children need a government mandated manual about how to roast a freakin' marshmallow, then you have no business being a parent what so ever.
What in the name of cheesus on a rubber crutch made someone think that the rest of us are so stupid we forgot that fire is dangerous?
No offence but if you are a parent and you believe this is exactly what America needs to spend tax dollars on then please...do the rest of us a favor and shoot yourself. Don't nibble on the barrel. Squeeze the damned trigger and spare us from another generation of terminally stupid people.
Sure this should be posted under rants but for some reason the page won't load so....voila!
Please...somebody tell me this belongs on a tiny toons episode and not in reality.
WHAT THE HE77 IS GOING ON!?!
Don't complain to your congressman...he thinks you're a child anyway!
I'm totally in the twilight zone here and this is just wrong.
If you are a parent and you can't safely teach your child that fire is dangerous if not respected, then maybe YOU are the problem!!!
I'm so sick of this planet.
Pheh....I'm outta here.

www.theblaze.com...

-Peace-


(Thanks)

a reply to: Eryiedes

Please protect us Nanny!

We know not what we Do and need your guidance in order to make us safe from ourselves!

I bow to thee...Oh wonderful one.

####K U!...It's MY Marshmallow!!!!

Peace

I guess the US government felt like they had to produce a coherent strategy on something.

These people are out of touch with reality. Someone should release a manual for them on how to stop war mongering and causing trouble all over the world.

I guess I'm the only person in ATS hospitalized because of a tragic marshmallow roasting accident then?

When I was in Cub Scouts, a kid across the bonfire from me tried to extinguish his flaming marshmallow by waving it back and forth until it flew off his stick and smacked me right in the eye like a flaming meteorite of molten goo.

It is just a fire safety announcement that goes in a very popular activity that I am sure causes lots of fires.
Do get so offended over the USDA trying to prevent fires.
Maybe they just need to stick with smokey the bear

a reply to: Psynic

No offence intended but it sounds like that kid needs a helmet to go into a Dairy Queen.
Lemme guess...he eats raw pork too.

-Peace-

originally posted by: Eryiedes
a reply to: Psynic

No offence intended but it sounds like that kid needs a helmet to go into a Dairy Queen.
Lemme guess...he eats raw pork too.

-Peace-

On the short bus?

Peace

originally posted by: Psynic
I guess I'm the only person in ATS hospitalized because of a tragic marshmallow roasting accident then?

When I was in Cub Scouts, a kid across the bonfire from me tried to extinguish his flaming marshmallow by waving it back and forth until it flew off his stick and smacked me right in the eye like a flaming meteorite of molten goo.

Govt. never taught you how to avoid a flying marshmallow?? That's their job DAMMIT!

Oh, let's NOT forget the SMORES Guidelines:

"The Forest Service admits that most people use roasted marshmallows to make s’mores, and even offers detailed instructions for making one. But it then suggests ways to make s’mores healthy.

“Think fruit,” it suggests without any hint that it’s joking around.

“Grill thin slices of pineapple and substitute chocolate for the sweet, warm fruit,” it reads. “You will still get a tasty treat but by substituting with fruit, it is healthier – as long as you watch the amount of marshmallows used. If you want to cut down even more on calories, try using slices of angel food cake instead of graham crackers.”"

F### THE NANNY!!!

Peace

a reply to: Psynic
You aren't the only one!
My little sister nailed me right in the ear which set my hair on fire. Both were more than moderately painful.
Never saw my Dad laugh so hard.

a reply to: Sremmos80







Well. Don't ask for help getting your shackles off.

This is the crux of why I am a proud conservative.

a reply to: smithjustinb

Wow were out just waiting to use all your sweet memes?
Nothing I said was about more government just that all this is a government safety announcement
They are not implementing anything just saying if you do this be careful.

I thoutht it would say the carbon black crackly part is cancerous (might be I know some fried things - the blackened bits can be it was it a science class teachers anecdote ao I dont remember) and to pull it off.

Instead its just ridiculous.

How many times a year do people actually make a campfire and roast marshmellows. We camp several times a year, but dont always roast marshmellows. So probably once or twice a year?

originally posted by: Sremmos80
a reply to: smithjustinb

Wow were out just waiting to use all your sweet memes?
Nothing I said was about more government just that all this is a government safety announcement
They are not implementing anything just saying if you do this be careful.

Your bias shines bright through your post.

originally posted by: Eryiedes
Evenin' All,

please...do the rest of us a favor and shoot yourself. Don't nibble on the barrel. Squeeze the damned trigger and spare us from another generation of terminally stupid people.

(Thanks)

That was just too damned funny to pass up. Thanx for the laugh. There's a "marshmallow" I know who needs that advice in a bad way. He is very much like the government.....he thinks he's relevant and he thinks that what he says is important and actually helps people. He lives in his own bubble of reality and if no one sides with him.....THEY'RE the crazy one's.

Don't nibble on it, eat it.

originally posted by: jihadoflove
a reply to: Psynic
You aren't the only one!
My little sister nailed me right in the ear which set my hair on fire. Both were more than moderately painful.
Never saw my Dad laugh so hard.

That sounds terrible but I have to admit...I'm on your dad's side for this one.

"I told you not to do that, didn't I?"

You don't need Obama or whoever is in office at the time to tell you to respect fire.
If the government telling you "don't play with fire" is what it takes for you to act responsibly then it sounds to me as if you have much larger issues to contend with first before you get around to "flinging molten flaming material".
There will always be a few intellectual flatliners in any given population as well as unfortunate accidents but if a government manual is what it takes for you to roast a marshmallow safely...dude, don't EVER move next to me...your bound to lose an eye while just taking your mail out of the mailbox and I HATE talking to cops:

Officer: "What did you see sir?"
Eryiedes: "Dude...I was just on the porch having a brewski...the neighbor came out to get the paper then WHOOSH!!! He just burst into flames...it was the freakiest thing I EVER saw. He musta been roasting marshmallows. You gonna arrest him? Better bring an ashtray."
Officer (draws his sidearm): "Sir, please turn around and put your hands behind your head."
Eryiedes: "What?!"
Newscaster: "It was a tragic day in Quebec as one resident spontaneously combusted on his doorstep and his neighbor was shot by authorities. Film at eleven."

-Peace-