posted on Aug, 26 2014 @ 04:12 PM
These words are from deep inside, the groaning and moaning of a frustrated optimist. Oh, I can put on the smiley, happy face as well as anyone but
some times I just have to scream and yell at the night. Saddened and broken by so many unrealized dreams and failed attempts at resolving the meaning
of life and my part in it. Tired of easy answers and shallow suggestions. I share the following not to glean support or sympathy only to expose this
moment as I wrote from my inner despair. Please know that I am not suicidal. I am much more than this despair and life always finds a way to lighten
up my day like the rising of the morning sun. Peace to everyone.
Words lie shattered at my feet
like shards of a broken mirror
they reflect my scattered soul.
They are bits and pieces of me,
broken by my refusal to accept
what I have become.
What grotesque image is revealed?
Their outlines are like scars
cutting across me, still bleeding.
Self inflicted, my suicide wrists
are still red hot and burning,
hands unwilling to pick them up.
I cry for the darkness of sleep,
the absence of thought
so that the pieces are no longer visible.
I flee the room and chase hope,
she runs before me,
always just out of reach.
Hope, please slow down,
I am running out of breath.
Life please let me inhale.
Let me drink again and again
of the cool water of restoration.
Restore to me the joy of life
and the joy of my salvation.