Autism is normal in men

I'm so glad someone pointed out that autism is a spectrum. ASD even had to change its guidelines recently due to too many people being diagnosed.

Please keep in mind a person is more that something they have been diagnosed with and, many times the diagnosis is incorrect.

There are theories that this spectrum is the next stage in evolution. Whether its true or not the numbers give you something to ponder.

originally posted by: Iamthatbish

There are theories that this spectrum is the next stage in evolution.

I am fully aware of the spiritual/energy/dimensional type evolvement.

This thread just didn't have that feel to it -- to me. I've certainly had too many personal experiences to discount it.

Four pages, and only a few replies from men. I'd say that demonstrates one difference between genders; women are way more comfortable discussing their innermost thoughts.

I'm a man and a millennial, no less. Though I've never been diagnosed, I am fairly certain the shrinks would place me somewhere on the spectrum. I agree with everything the OP has said in the thread so far. Some of it has crossed my mind over the years as I have struggled to understand why 'normal' people think as they do. They always seemed so caught up in the insignificant social pleasantries, while overlooking life's interesting details.

There is no question in my mind that modern society attempts to emasculate men. So many regular activities from my childhood are frowned upon or even forbidden today. These poor kids can't even play with imaginary guns, much less toy guns. I spent hours a day roaming the neighborhood and surrounding woods, accompanied only by friends or the dog.

Even in the 80's, terrible things happened to children every so often. But parents weren't paranoid, maybe just because they didn't hear about every kidnapping on 24-hour news networks.

Compared to the insulated, artificial world kids live in today, I enjoyed relative freedom. I still think I would have benefitted from even less protection by society. At this point in my life, I believe all of my 'autistic' issues -- lack of confidence, avoiding eye contact, difficulty in making meaningful social connections, social awkwardness, lack of productivity -- could have been resolved at an early age. When my grandparents were young, it was sink or swim. Fight or be picked on. Succeed or fail, with real consequences. I think that's what is missing from society today, and that is why we are seeing so many young people diagnosed with a 'condition.'

To the OP's point: I think this is why autistic children are struggling. Society shelters all kids to the point of being harmful, and the especially masculine boys are the most stifled during development.

a reply to: OpenMindedRealist

There's a significant problem with self diagnosis. People can have autistic tendencies but not enough of them to actually be autistic. My best friend bugs out at little noises or can't sleep if her sheet isn't perfectly flat. That would be oversensitivity for sure but it doesn't make her autistic.

I wouldn't say that autism equals a lack of productivity. I'm not sure where you got that one. High functional autistics can be extraordinarily productive, far above and beyond the call of duty. It just has to be something that is one of our interests. As an autistic, I turned an 8 page written project into a 33 page written project, much to my professor's horror and joy. I earned an A+ and my professor requested that she keep it as her "pinnacle of perfection" to show her future classes as an example. That's not a "lack of productivity". That's pretty much getting obsessively mental over a subject to the point of expertise--which is autism.

Another example of autism productivity was my son and his desire to learn hiragana and katakana, which combined is roughly 40,000 characters in the Japanese language. Seriously, that was his goal at the age of 14 and for months I found Japanese characters written all over paper everywhere. I'd find little bits of paper with Japanese script written on them on his floor, in his coat pocket, in his jean pockets, remnants of them in the wash, all over his desk, bookcases...I think you get the point. After I started joking that he was going "a beautiful mind" on me, he agreed it wasn't healthy. Although he did ask me for a book on Japanese characters about two months ago. I'm awaiting the slips of papers' grand return with bated breath.

That's what an autistic does. We go "a beautiful mind" on whatever catches our interest. We'll be working, learning, absorbing for hours throughout the day and late into the night. I've had interests that left me operating on about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. That's "a beautiful mind". Autism does not equal a lack of productivity.

The lack of confidence is really related to the social awkwardness thing. I'm socially awkward to this day though I can hide it pretty good (I think lol). It's not that I lack confidence. I'm just not always sure when I should chime in or when I've been going on and on for too long.

My son's speech therapist at his school (rigid language use due to autism) always told my son that he should have more than just a couple of friends that he talked to every day and needed to work on making more. In fact, when they transferred him out early into college, there was some concerns voiced about his maintaining friendships. 3 years later and those two friends are still his best friends despite the fact that they haven't gone to school together for so long. We do make meaningful relationships. We're just not social butterflies who feel the need to have a dozen or more people that act more like acquaintances than friends. It's a difference of value and definition. I have friends that I value very deeply that even a harsh disagreement cannot tear asunder.

Avoiding eye contact is definitely an autism thing. Even when I try to make sure I'm doing it, my fiance laughs a little because he knows I'm struggling to maintain it as my eyes are darting about so much. Can't fool him, lol. Gah, he's picking on me now by mimicking what I do as I type. Jerk, lol. I do do pretty good at it and even learned to do a natural seeming timing that gives me a break from holding it by passing it off as thinking of a response (I already have the response, I'm just taking an eye contact break. HA).

Anyways, hope the above clears up those "tendencies" you cited in the hopes that it helps you better understand what autism can look like in a high functional autistic. I grew up in a sink or swim family that was actually the kind that would forcefully hold your head under the water just to make it that much harder. I didn't do that with either of my children and only one is autistic. I don't think it has anything to do with the environment a child is in otherwise both children would have ended up the same. Instead, they turned out radically different. That, to me, points to genetics along with family history.

One of my family lineage landed in the Who's Who for learning over 70 different languages. The criticisms for his translations was that he was inept with idioms, too literal, and too faithful to perfect translation that he made the works stilted. That among a few other things, like his total disdain for fashion or shaving, screams Asperger's. We have a strong lineage of people with these traits. That's genetics.

Yah if you get jacked up with 20 mercury based vaccines at age 30 minutes it might leave a mark...lol

I didn't even notice the eye contact thing in myself until I was working with my grandson holding his eye contact.

It was hard. Almost physically painful.

originally posted by: boymonkey74
a reply to: Cruithneach

I look after people with autism and yes we have more males with the condition but no most males have no sign of autism on any scale of the spectrum.
You are generalising even people with autism can be very different than you have described.

Damn straight. The premise is weak and smells agenda driven. If you are not a doctor or don't have legitimate studies then its sexist speculation.

originally posted by: Annee
I didn't even notice the eye contact thing in myself until I was working with my grandson holding his eye contact.

It was hard. Almost physically painful.

Yep. They say the eyes are the windows to the soul and I think there is truth to that. When I make eye contact, it feels like I'm laid bare and it is almost in a physical sense. It's simply too much unless I'm ready for it with walls engaged.