What does the Bible say about domestic violence?

I've googled this question and there are many passages and verses, but I would appreciate some input from someone more learned in these things. I mean the Bible says a great deal many things on a whole lot of subjects and then it is silent on others. Everyone seems to have their own views and beliefs. Women are subject to their husbands, so are they subject to abuse as well if that is God's will? I'm curious as I deal with abused woman and children in my daily life and this question has been stuck in my mind lately. Abuse being defined as spiritual, emotional, physical, psychological and financial abuse.

What if the abuser is a Christian and uses his religion to enforce his abuse? What if the abuser blames demons or Satan for the abuse in the first place? I had one guy tell me this the other day, maybe that's what sparked the question. I just find it hard to reconcile all the different points of view in the Bible and all the contrasts contained therein.

a reply to: Faitheliza

Many religions oppress women, have you noticed how God is always he or lord?.
It is just another way to control women.
If anyone uses the excuse that demons did it they are lying and are cowards.
If you do something it isn't the devil or demons it is yourself and you must accept responsibility for your own actions.
I still don't understand how woman can follow a religion which is still oppressing women but at least a few are moving forward allowing women bishops (CoE).

a reply to: Faitheliza

The Bible is written by men. So it has a great deal of crap regarding how ancient men thought.

Some would say it was written by men under God's influence but if that were true, the Bible would be about one hundredth of the size it is.

The commandments are a good start.

Perhaps look inward to find the truth rather than outward.

Much of what you encounter is generational abuse. If our society had any real care of and for the people, we could stop it in its tracks but sadly, society is all about wealth.

Just think of the possibilities if we spent just one years worth of defense spending on the psychological welfare of our children.

The Bible is the wrong place to look for these answers. Your heart is the right place.

P

a reply to: Faitheliza

I think you really have to keep in mind the time frame the books of the bible were written in...

Women did not have rights... they were nothing more then ovens for the seed of man

I would cite the whole "turn the other cheek" thing, but that doesn't apply... There is no reason for a man to strike a women in any situation

Abuse being defined as spiritual, emotional, physical, psychological and financial abuse.

What if the abuser is a Christian and uses his religion to enforce his abuse?

It really has nothing to do with that person's religion... but IF someone is using the bible to hurt others, they're using it wrong...

What if the abuser blames demons or Satan for the abuse in the first place?

then he/she is a liar... and is using his a religion as a tool for manipulation

I am not a church going Christian and they may be better at helping you with answers but I was always told that a man should love his wife as he loves himself. Keeping that in mind... You don't see an awful lot of men beating the hell out of themselves or smacking themselves to keep themselves in line.

I'm sure some will come in and disagree with me, but that's just the way I see it. A true Christian man would not do that. As for demons... I would say that is a pretty nifty excuse to act out and avoid the consequences. Nothing more and nothing less.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

I am not a church going Christian either for various reasons, the most prominent is that of late I have been finding it really hard to reconcile my faith with the word of God and this issue has been one of them. A bit of a spiritual crisis is the order of the day for me right now.

a reply to: Faitheliza

Surely you are going back to the time when women were considered chattel and bought and sold - which should tell you everything about biblical times. Doesn't bible even tells us that Abraham was willing to let the Pharaoh sleep with his wife claiming she was his sister? (We are still unpacking after moving and haven't touched the books yet so I can't reference it).

I especially like the one where Jacob (I think) married the wrong daughter Lear and had to wait 7 years before getting his paws on Rebeccah. I still wonder how he reacted on his wedding night when he found his father-in-law had married him off to another women!?

I suspect initially women were in charge as priests and advisers as men danced off to war in the summer. This changed and we went into the patriarchal society which tried to silence women. Sadly many are still that way and it shows by their lack of compassion are empathy.

The bible doesn't speak about domestic violence as far as I can remember, but as people lived in tribal situations I suspect wives had fathers and brothers who would deal with any untoward behaviour.

a reply to: boymonkey74

All forms of violence are condemned in the Bible, there is no category, it all falls under the word "violence" regardless of on the street or behind closed doors.

Ephesians
22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Saviour. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[a] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church – 30 for we are members of his body.

Its an interesting topic, very close to my heart.

Well men should love their wives, its clearly written. The church is considered the bride of Jesus. Jesus died for His church, so there is no room to manoeuvre on abuse, though, it is a broken world and everyone makes mistakes.

Men should be subject to their wives, not only that they should be prepared to lay down their lives.
All said and done, we do live in an abusive world, abuse is passed on from others and in turn gets passed on further down.
Its cyclic.
This is a funny quote, normally when people speak or write, the last details always stick in your head the most, this verse it seems the first verse is the one people remember


The answer!

Any form of violence is totally forbidden to Christians
apart from that, biblically divorce isnt acceptable, though there is a clause where if married couple separate
First Corinthians 7:10-11 says, "A wife must not leave her husband. But if she does leave him, let her remain single or else go back to him. And the husband must not leave his wife.
They should be working to a restoration


So separation is acknowledged even accepted, though not recommended, it can help both people focus on their failures, and grow.

Though remember this book is aimed at Christians, many call themselves Christian but dont act that way.

Its complicated, its a complicated world.
There is no excuse for domestic violence, no justification, its not a perfect world. It happens
Christians are as human as everyone else

a reply to: boymonkey74

lol. Only lost in translation my friend.

The mechanical translation of the word Elohim (used in the old testament) is "the powers". Its plural.

Later generations developed the words God, he, lord, etc.

a reply to: pheonix358

protecting the psychological welfare of children over the long term involves heavy television and internet censorship (destroying MSM and advertising basically) since society doesnt believe in holdings parents accountable.

a reply to: Faitheliza

Jehova's Witnesses say that the Bible says the man is always in charge of the woman, from what I can tell from my experiences with a few, that includes beating. I do know that the woman is not allowed her own initiative because I tried dating one once, and she didn't want me to let her make any decisions.

Other than that, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth - but that would mean the women should fight back, in my opinion, unless they weren't counted as people.

This is about all I know on the subject: personal accounts (including discussing the issue with my ex) and that verse, and that women might have been counted as property and not had the right to fight back, which I learned in history classes.

I also know that Jewish people have ground rules they lay out about how to treat their wives, which if I remember correctly, include no domestic violence - but that doesn't mean Christians kept that facet.

I have met plenty of Christians who think that it is okay to harm other people in order to uphold their world-view, and I don't think they got this from Jesus or God, the closest I could come to figuring was that they got it from Martin Luther.

I would like to think the Bible says that domestic violence is not the way to treat you wife, but if I had to guess, the most it would give would be advice on how to tend your property (wife) humanely in some older sections, maybe some Gnostic stuff would give positive ideas on how to treat women.

Borntowatch has already quoted the advice in Ephesians.
Also this from 1 Peter; "Likewise, you husbands, live considerately with your wives, bestowing honour on the woman as the weaker sex" 1 Peter ch3 v7

Yes, he does tell wives to be submissive, but the same advice is also given to everybody else.

a reply to: Faitheliza

Why does it matter what the bible says?? Anyone with even the tiniest bit of love in their hearts will know it's wrong.

originally posted by: DarknStormy
a reply to: boymonkey74

All forms of violence are condemned in the Bible, there is no category, it all falls under the word "violence" regardless of on the street or behind closed doors.

Didn't the phrase spare the rod and spoil the child come from the bible?
This page is filled with advice about marriage. One quote encourages married people to have a lot of sex to keep temptation at bay. Gotta love that advice.

www.openbible.info...

In the Talmud if a man strikes his wife she may leave him and he must pay her alimony.
if he refuses the courts may lash him until he agrees to pay.
If he causes her grievous injury he must pay her medical bills as well

originally posted by: Necrobile
a reply to: Faitheliza

Why does it matter what the bible says?? Anyone with even the tiniest bit of love in their hearts will know it's wrong.

Because a large portion of Christianity thinks of the bible as the defacto moral compass for life. We as modern civilized people know better, but a lot of christian evangelical yahoos actually buy anything they read in to.

"in Christ there is neither male nor female......."
This is a good indication of whether you're "in Christ" or "in the world". In "the world" one has to ponder these sorts of issues but "in Christ" there is no issue. If you have an abusive spouse then that spouse is not "in Christ" and Christians were warned against being unequally yoked with unbelievers.

In contract law (and marriage IS a contract), if one party commits a material breach of contract then the other party to the contract is no longer obligated to fulfill their obligations of the contract. The contract generally being: love, honor, cherish, in sickness and health, richer or poorer, being faithful, etc.

No spouse should ever expect to be abused (male or female) in a committed relationship.

My ex once called the elders of our church to straighten me out because, according to him, I was not being a submissive wife (I'll spare you the ridiculous details). After the elders admonished me to be more submissive (I was fuming silently after being chastised like a recalcitrant child in my own home) I calmly asked them if all the verses of the bible were applicable and they agreed that the complete bible applies to all Christians. I then pointed out that I was supporting the family financially and then quoted the verse about "if a man support not his own, especially those of his own household, he is worse than an infidel". There was an award silence and the elders concluded with scolding the ex and telling him he needed to get a job. LOL.

a reply to: whitewave

Thanks Whitwave that makes a lot of sense and I'm glad you stood up for yourself - I always say if they want to believe everything word for word in the Bible they best live by it too