One simple 4th of July request from combat veteran with PTSD

a reply to: HardCorps

That is exactly what he is asking

a reply to: Metallicus

you and me both buddy...politico's should be considered vermin!
with no bag limits...

a reply to: Metallicus
I'm with you on this, but there's always an ass - "Hain't nowon gonna telle me wut ta do!"

I'd asked a neighbor a few years ago to tell me before he set off his fireworks so I can take my dog inside, so at 10AM, already drunk, he sends a firework towards my front porch, with us and the dog sitting there.

And then came over later to borrow some beer. How the hell do you borrow beer? What!? He's gonna tote over a big pee jug later in replacement!?

I don't have hyper vigilance, but I can certainly understand a man who has it. Living in an area where household fireworks are a constant for a week, If I were the type to do fireworks, I'd heed to the considerations of that guy.
He's been through enough.

i have a friend with PTSD and he had a problem with fireworks.

He got over his problem with the fireworks by working as a blaster.

He had no problem as long as he knew when the bang would go off.

After a few years working as a blaster fireworks quit bothering him.

He now does the town fireworks displays every 4th

a reply to: HardCorps

I have non-combat related PTSD and even I have a hard time with fireworks and what generated my PTSD wasn't bombs going off around me. It's the sudden eruption of loud noise that triggers that hypervigilance in me. I've had PTSD for a good portion of my life and it's taken me a couple decades to actually get to the point where I can chill myself out. The first time I remember going to a fireworks show was when I was 17 (already had PTSD). My friends were all putting their hands on my shoulders because I'd jump so severely at every boom and were laughing that they didn't even need to see the display to know if it was a "good one" based on how high I jumped. That's how it is for somebody with non-combat related PTSD. Hard as hell. For those veterans with combat related PTSD, I cannot even begin to imagine how bad it must get to hear the sounds that were directly associated with the threat of death. It's hard to stay rational and know it's okay in the non-combat related sort. For some vets, I can easily imagine that it could nearly drive them temporarily right out of their minds.

One of my neighbors had a son who was in Iraq and he joined us yesterday for the neighborhood 4th party. When the fireworks started popping off at around 3:30, he was already on edge. Really nice guy and he was clearly trying to keep it together. He tried throwing back a bunch of beers in an attempt to settle his nerves but then gave up on that and asked me for a soda. By 5 pm, he was so completely on edge that he commented on how early people were setting their fireworks off and couldn't understand why they couldn't wait. That's when a few idiots at the party started teasing him about his dislike of fireworks like he was some kind of weirdo. I know from experience that if you have a group of people teasing somebody for being different, then the best way to curtail it is to chime in and say that you share that difference, too. So I did that immediately and said "I have PTSD and the sound of fireworks get on my nerves". It did the trick and the teasers dropped it.

That young vet sitting next to me? It was too late really. He had spent the entire afternoon trying to have a good time and keep his agitation under control but to actually get teased for having combat related PTSD? He started muttering under his breath about his experiences looking every bit of angry hell and I couldn't blame him. You know what though? He said it softly enough that those dimwits didn't even hear him. Even in that moment, he just wanted everyone (and himself) to have a good 4th of July.

After the party wrapped up and everyone went off to watch the fireworks displays, I couldn't help but think about that young veteran sitting in his father's house and what he was going through at that point. I was praying that he had a set of really good headphones to drown out the noise completely as my neighborhood really goes to town with the fireworks at sundown. While everybody saw it as a phenomenal display on the ground and in the air, I thought of that young man and how he'd jump in distress at a whistling pete and realized how much it sounded like a warzone. It broke my heart and the funny thing was he tried really, really hard to not show it one bit and put on a strong face til that minute where his facade cracked a little under the teasing that should have never happened.

My heart goes out to all of you vets that go through this every year. I'm so sorry and I hope that some measure of peace and healing comes to you soon. PTSD is rough. I know that from experience. It never goes away but I can also promise that it does get a little better.

a reply to: HardCorps

When I first bought my house, I had a similar problem with my neighbors. After 3 consecutive years of 4th of July festivities of increasing fireworks displays from their party I went over to talk to the husband the following day. He wasn't a complete jerk about it, but insinuated I was being so and asked me "what I was going to do about it" if they didn't stop. I told him not to worry, I'm no cop caller and asked if he'd like to stop over for a beer. Once he started drinking his frosty beverage it tried to explain to him that it wasn't what I would do because that implied a conscious, thought out response but it was what's was capable of doing. what he's doing would freak me the heck out every time because it reminded me of mortar fire and flares and I don't think about what I'm doing when under fire, I react the way I was trained to. He still didn't quite get it so I put it in context for him. I opened my safe and said "this is a box of tracers" this is a .308 rifle, add them together with me thinking someone's firing on my house and it becomes a lethal combination for both of us because we both have kids and I would really prefer that they are able to enjoy their summers without something stupid happening that could easily be avoided. Now I get to enjoy the evening in peace and they still get to use their party, minus illegal fireworks.

Stay inside, shut your windows and buy some earplugs if you live in an area where fireworks are still legal.

No need to pee on your neighbors cheerios.

originally posted by: Deny Arrogance
Stay inside, shut your windows and buy some earplugs if you live in an area where fireworks are still legal.

No need to pee on your neighbors cheerios.

yes, because veterans who have PTSD aren't smart enough to have tried that already

When lived in states after my four tours in vietnam would disappear out as far from people as could get from mid-june to mid july to get away from the fireworks due to my ptsd ..

Hope the guys neighbors show some consideration for him ..

over here i wont even go downriver during chinese new year due to the fireworks ..

originally posted by: Deny Arrogance
Stay inside, shut your windows and buy some earplugs if you live in an area where fireworks are still legal.

No need to pee on your neighbors cheerios.

You know, it's really funny but I remember a lot of people putting on yellow ribbons and "support our troops!" bumper stickers on their cars. I thought that meant that we were going to support our troops but I guess what that meant is that we support our troops while they are overseas but that support stops once they step back home. Most fireworks are illegal except for low key ground fireworks in my area. That doesn't stop many of those living within a 5 mile radius of me and they'll start setting off a lot of these things up to a week before the 4th of July. Whether they are legal or illegal, people still do them and good luck trying to track down whose setting them off where its illegal.

In light of this, based on your suggestion and amended for the reality that even a fireworks ban is held as irrelevant for many in regards to the 4th, if you happen to be a veteran with PTSD in an area where the big boomers are illegal, you need to spend a good week sitting in your home with earplugs in just so your neighbors can freely break the law at will. Actually having respect for the law and supporting our troops at the same time is, apparently, too much pee in the cheerios for some.

a reply to: WhiteAlice

For me it's not the big boom--- as much as it is the heavy Thump that comes before the boom.

you guys who've been around skyrockets know what I mean... then the shell is launched out of the tube there's this heavy thump you feel more than you hear...

well when we'd come under mortar attacks it was that Thump that I learned to fear most. If you heard the Boom it meant you were still alive! But that Thump told ya another round was incoming and you had no way of knowing where the next one would land.

BTW Like I said... I'm okay around public displays...When I know what to expect I can deal---
it's those surprises booms like the one had last night 7/6/2014 two days afterwards--- those ones really make me jumpy!

a reply to: HardCorps

It's the thump that trigger my non-combat PTSD, too, interestingly enough. For me, I think it really is just the sudden and random noise because I'll jump and get rattled just as severely if somebody slams a door behind me. When something has a strong similarity to the events that led to my developing severe PTSD, it's so much worse than just a little jump and startle. That's why I cannot even imagine what it must be like for a vet on and around the 4th.

That's exactly what my fiance and I were talking about the other day on this subject. If you know it's coming (as in a planned display), then you know it's coming and there's no surprises. When it's a random firework out of nowhere and from varied locations, there's no planning for that and people tend to drag it out before and after the holiday itself. I don't get it. How hard is it for a neighborhood or community to get together to have their own little firework display in one area where everything gets used up in the course of one evening in one location? That's what my neighborhood tries to do (and it was great) but we still had streets that were randomly detonating fireworks all through the subdivision.

Combining means saving money, less chances of injury (saw a picture of a friend of a friend whose face got burned by a misfired firework this year), and less risks of fire. It'd alleviate the calls to emergency services and all the while, give our vets a break around a holiday where really, their service should be honored, too. Best of both worlds that way in my mind.

Thank you for bringing this to our attention OP. Although I deal with remnants of PTSD (I'm not a vet) and I try to be considerate of these situations, I'm embarrassed that this thought hasn't occurred to me. My trigger is unexpected loud sounds, so I can handle fireworks as their sound is expected. But I'm an anxious mess during a thunderstorm, unsure when thunder may see me right into the fetal position. I can't imagine being a vet with this particular trigger during fireworks. Again, thank you for bringing this to our attention, and of course for your service.