Quit Asking For Faux Apologies

With all the hoopla lately with Donald Sterling, then with Robert Copeland, I have come to the conclusion (more so now than ever before) that those calling for "Public Apologies" are just wanting to put themselves in the limelight. It's either that or they don't fully understand the concept of apologizing to begin with.

We would be here for days on end if I typed out all of the names of folks who have been forced to apologize, embarrassed into apologizing, and/or blackmailed into it. Bill Clinton, Elliot Spitzer, Tonya Harding, Michael Vick, John Edwards, etc. etc. etc.

I don't get it. I don't. Some of you might, but I am of the mind that an apology is given when one is sincerely sorry for what they have done or said.

To me, an apology that is forced is not an apology at all. Why would someone want to receive such an apology to begin with? If my husband goes out and has an affair, gets caught and is truly remorseful, he offers an apology of his own accord. If he keeps having affairs and keeps apologizing... How the hell is that truly sorry? And why would I want to keep hearing it? If I tell him to apologize or I am leaving, then he gives in... I don't want it.

So why are people constantly calling for apologies? What are they getting from the faux apology? Do they like being lied to?

Quit asking for apologies people. Just stop. When you call for apologies all you are getting is an "I'm sorry that I got caught and now I have to try and look like I am actually sorry for what I did/said."

I would much rather have no apology at all. It may make you look like more of an ass, but at least it won't make you look more like a lying ass. If you have the cajones to say something or do something that goes against the grain at least retain those cajones long enough to stand by what you said/did. Just own it. If you can't do that... then don't do things you aren't willing to stand by.

Keep your fake apologies to yourself, or at least stand up and say that you are sorry you got caught. Whipping up a good tear while stuttering into the mic does not a genuine apology make.

Because they have the idea that no matter what they do an apology solves everything .. it doesnt ..
As to forced apologies .. worse all they do is create further resentment and tension ..

These days a sincere apology is a very rare thing ..

originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe
To me, an apology that is forced is not an apology at all.

Agreed. Fake apologies are ridiculous. It's just damage control for the one 'apologizing'. Nothing more. If it doesn't come from them without prompting ... then it's not real.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

In the world of political correctness, a faux apology is standard.

It doesn't matter if you mean it, if it was sincere or not.

Like today's politicians, you only have to sound good.

You never have to actually follow through with whatever you say.

originally posted by: Expat888
Because they have the idea that no matter what they do an apology solves everything .. it doesnt ..
As to forced apologies .. worse all they do is create further resentment and tension ..

These days a sincere apology is a very rare thing ..

I really couldn't agree more with your entire post.

It's pretty terrible that when you see someone on tv doing this they automatically get the eye roll. At this point, if one was real, you'd never know or guess. People throw the word sorry around so often, it's lost a lot of it's importance IMO.

originally posted by: FlyersFan

originally posted by: Kangaruex4Ewe
To me, an apology that is forced is not an apology at all.

Agreed. Fake apologies are ridiculous. It's just damage control for the one 'apologizing'. Nothing more. If it doesn't come from them without prompting ... then it's not real.

Damage control is the perfect description for it. I kept grasping for that in my OP but it escaped me. You're dead on it!

originally posted by: beezzer
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

In the world of political correctness, a faux apology is standard.

It doesn't matter if you mean it, if it was sincere or not.

Like today's politicians, you only have to sound good.

You never have to actually follow through with whatever you say.

Reason #62,798 why I hate the PC world that is being created at ever increasing speeds lately.

Who would have thought one could ruin the whole idea of apologizing?

Why apologize at all? Obviously you did the "act" you were apologizing for, so it is now in the past as far as our time goes. So I am not seeing the need for apologies period, you can tell when someone is apologetic, words need not be spoken about it, actions speak louder IMO! If the act continues on then obviously you accept it or walk away those are the only two choices. People do what they do, who are we to tell someone to be sorry for who they are, I have never liked apologies. If everyone did whatever the "F" they wanted without harm to others (I don't mean hurt feelings either)....then live and let live, it causes sooooo much less friction in my life, no expectations, nor any form of judgement calls (still working on this one, haha). Any way that's my rant much love to all you divine souls.

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

a reply to: network dude

That sums it up quite nicely, doesn't it?

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe

I agree with you about fake apologies... Worthless! But the people aren't calling for Copeland to apologize. They want him to resign. As far as I can tell, the only one asking for an apology is Mitt Romney LOL (When did this get to be his business, anyway?)

Is someone else calling for an apology?

a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe



It's one thing to apologise for something one has actually done, if indeed

they are truly remorseful.


However I fail to see how anyone can apologise on behalf of another?

and when the event which is being apologised for happened

more than a hundred years before they were born?


Tony Blair the ex. Prime Minister of UK is good at that ... lol ... He's done it

twice

# In June 1997 he apologised to the Irish for the governments handling of

the Irish potato famine which was 150 years ago

# In Nov 2006 he expressed "deep sorrow" for Britain's role in the slave

trade from 200 or so years ago

The only problem that I see is there is way too much negative things with humans than positive.

Dishonestly. Not one person I meet cares anything about telling the truth. I would say everybody lies.

Selfishness. People care a ton about themselves and not one little tiny bit about others.

Ego. Everybody makes wrong judgments and believes them, and when the truth is told to then they deny it.

Stubbornness. Would they ever think about change? Not a chance in the world.

Negativity. Every thought is produced into words and actions they clearly describe how rotten and mean they are.

So this is what describes many people. It is the true meaning of being fake. That can be draining at a certain point.

This is what happened when lib dem leader Nick Clegg had to apologise for raising tuition fees in the UK.
You can't win. Got to no.32 in the UK pop charts

originally posted by: eletheia
a reply to: Kangaruex4Ewe



It's one thing to apologise for something one has actually done, if indeed

they are truly remorseful.


However I fail to see how anyone can apologise on behalf of another?

and when the event which is being apologised for happened

more than a hundred years before they were born?


Tony Blair the ex. Prime Minister of UK is good at that ... lol ... He's done it

twice

# In June 1997 he apologised to the Irish for the governments handling of

the Irish potato famine which was 150 years ago

# In Nov 2006 he expressed "deep sorrow" for Britain's role in the slave

trade from 200 or so years ago

Geez... Seriously? That's nuts! I don't understand what one tries to accomplish with apologies for things done/said many generations ago either. The lunatics are now in control of the asylum and folks are eating it like candy.

a reply to: greyer

I couldn't agree more. That is truly one thing I never missed while being a stay at home mom. The fakeness. It's like you can't escape it anymore. I would much rather someone ignore me, be mean to me, etc. that I would have them be fake to/around me. It is disgusting and like you said... very draining. It's almost like people have turned into emotional vampires and just live to sucks the life out of everyone and everything they come into contact with.

a reply to: woodwardjnr

That is too much. It's sad that you almost have to laugh to keep from crying.