Too spiritual to attract/pick up women?

a reply to: introspectionist

Hi introspectionist!
I could be wrong here...this is only my opinion...but here goes...

I believe that YOU believe that people perceive you as different.
That women aren't attracted to you (because you're not the stereotypical alpha male).

This is all your own perception. You are actually 'wearing' the persona that you believe others are seeing.
Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, you are (unconsciously) attracting that characterization.

I am likely older than you, and have had many traumatic life experiences. I have reached a 'place' where I can go out into the public world...and act as though I am a confident lovely person, and everybody likes me. (lol)
Funny thing is....that is the exact reaction that I get back from most people.

I go out, expecting to be liked...and to be a polite, respectful individual to all that I encounter.

The funny thing about all this, is that I am someone who is automatically judged by people, at first glance. Tall, long blonde hair, don't look my age (but am over 50)....dress almost rock-goth (yet with class)...partner has full arm sleeve tattoos...we get stared at often. BUT...we laugh and joke with everyone, banter with each other...basically leave 'em laughing.
The confidence is what appeals to people.
Just liking yourself...believing that you are a good person...don't let others identify WHO you are.

Lots of very good replies from 'conscious' members here.
Have faith in yourself.
jacygirl

I can relate to a point. I have no issues attracting some women, I just have yet to attract one that I'm interested in. This used to bother me in my younger years but I've come to the realization that I'm content to just be myself and not 'try' to attract a mate. I've been a much happier person when I finally agreed with myself that it wasn't something I needed to define myself.

I would put it this way. My heart is open, but the guards are constantly on watch and are ready to raise the gates if it sees unwanted guests attempting to gain entry.

originally posted by: LittleByLittle
For myself I want the true twin flame experience and everything else is just not worth the effort, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Ah yes, the elusive twin flame.. I am of the mind that we have at least a couple, or perhaps it is simply determined by various possibilities in life, raising the proportion of availability in accordance with lack of probability.

Maybe I just tell myself that because I have experienced it, yet not been able to explore it.

*shrug*

As for this thread, I think its a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts (especially taking into consideration past threads/posts). Jacy hit the nail on the head, as usual.

Spirituality is experienced by everyone differently, but the end natural result is unity, or bringing people together. Now, some who have intentionally chosen a non-spiritual path (perhaps unwittingly) will feel uncomfortable in the presence of their polar opposite. But, a deeply spiritual person can even bring these people together with true understanding. Well, most of the time anyway! Sometimes people really do not want to grow. Period. End of Story. I also find this trait to be most common among those who consider themselves the most spiritual (or religious).

Perhaps it is not your spirituality, but something else, that is causing division.

a reply to: Serdgiam

Or maybe the connection between two souls are too low level for being truelly a meeting of two souls and words are no longer enough of a connection to be interesting to me and maybe introspectionist.

Maybe in a few years it will be different.

originally posted by: LittleByLittle
a reply to: Serdgiam

Or maybe the connection between two souls are too low level for being truelly a meeting of two souls and words are no longer enough of a connection to be interesting to me and the maybe introspectionist.

Thats a fair point. It seemed like more of a blanket generalization than specific instances though. If one sees themselves as superior, then surely, their narrative will appear accordingly.

Maybe in a few years it will be different.

In a few years, many things will be different.

a reply to: Serdgiam

Superior depends on the measurement of the beholder. Being a cat surrounded by dogs will be annoying for the cat and the cat might have a few abilities that the dogs do not have, but the dogs will have other abilities the cat do not have. Even if we share the same type of biological machine do not mean there is not a lot of difference on soul and programming level.

To say we are all the same is not true. In fact we are all unique in our own way evolving from one state to another. I think the end potential is the same but that is another story.

I am in my childish mood so I add this song.


Namaste

originally posted by: LittleByLittle
a reply to: Serdgiam

Superior depends on the measurement of the beholder. Being a cat surrounded by dogs will be annoying for the cat and the cat might have a few abilities that the dogs do not have, but the dogs will have other abilities the cat do not have. Even if we share the same type of biological machine do not mean there is not a lot of difference on soul and programming level.

That is true, as far as my own understanding goes. Which is why I said that when someone sees themselves as superior, their narrative will appear accordingly. Its one example of a myriad of self-imposed labels and concepts, some much better expressed through thought than words (and even there, we have the difference between those that think with words, and those that think thoughts). A self-fulfilling prophecy as it were. OP says "is X causing women to be unattracted to me?" Well, perhaps the X is or is not relevant, but the rest of the statement provides a narrative to the experience. The core perception is "Women are not attracted to me," the response is "is it because I am superior spiritually?" The answer is not necessarily in the question, and perhaps more relevant as a facet than being an absolute explanation.

To say we are all the same is not true. In fact we are all unique in our own way evolving from one state to another. I think the end potential is the same but that is another story.

I am a unique snowflake, just like everyone else. An interesting statement, more used in the disparaging of individuality rather than the immense system that can allow something so seemingly paradoxical.

I am in my childish mood so I add this song.

I never did appreciate being childish when I was a child. Now I get it, and yet it is equally too late and perfect timing. C'est la vie. Dancing in the ocean.

Still want to see one of those in person.

a reply to: Serdgiam
Some really good posts in this thread and I hope the OP can see that the reason people are engaging here is because they care about your well being & there is some excellent advice for you.
One thing I find about people who I class as spiritual people is the love and sheer joy of living you can see and feel in their presence, it really is very infectious. When you feel detached you are in a state of depression because we are inherently social creatures and it hurts not to be accepted.
So this reflects in the way you carry yourself, how you interact with others etc.. it's all about your self image and you are feeding into the bad self image you have created for yourself and it's like a feedback loop, if you can't convince yourself that you can relate to others then you won't convince anyone else.
These are your spiritual trials and they will continue to happen in your life until you remove yourself completely from the world to stop them or you learn to transcend them, once you transcend it, it's like a veil is lifted and it gives you the strength to overcome your next spiritual trial.

originally posted by: mclarenmp4
a reply to: Serdgiam
Some really good posts in this thread and I hope the OP can see that the reason people are engaging here is because they care about your well being & there is some excellent advice for you.
One thing I find about people who I class as spiritual people is the love and sheer joy of living you can see and feel in their presence, it really is very infectious. When you feel detached you are in a state of depression because we are inherently social creatures and it hurts not to be accepted.
So this reflects in the way you carry yourself, how you interact with others etc.. it's all about your self image and you are feeding into the bad self image you have created for yourself and it's like a feedback loop, if you can't convince yourself that you can relate to others then you won't convince anyone else.
These are your spiritual trials and they will continue to happen in your life until you remove yourself completely from the world to stop them or you learn to transcend them, once you transcend it, it's like a veil is lifted and it gives you the strength to overcome your next spiritual trial.

Beautifully well said my friend!

originally posted by: mclarenmp4
These are your spiritual trials and they will continue to happen in your life until you remove yourself completely from the world to stop them or you learn to transcend them, once you transcend it, it's like a veil is lifted and it gives you the strength to overcome your next spiritual trial.

I enjoy those lines particularly.

It sounds like an obstacle has been placed. The puzzle now is figuring out how to continue on the path. Sometimes yagotsta be clever! Sometimes you just have to run into it head first...

But, once we get passed such things, it is amazing how the path suddenly changes. Things morph slightly. And the longer we go, the more they change. Until, all of a sudden, we see that it was never the path and environment that was changing, it was our perception all along.

Tricky place, this here.

Simplicity in its truest form of genius, to put it in "gobbledeegook."

It sure can be devastatingly beautiful.

originally posted by: corvuscorrax
I can relate to a point. I have no issues attracting some women, I just have yet to attract one that I'm interested in.

To attract the ones you are interested in, you just treat them they way you do the ones you are not interested in.

I would like to ask the OP a few questions to ponder to himself, feel free to answer them if you so desire.

1. What do you perceive as someone you'd be interested in? What qualities of character would they have, what personality would they have, what day to day rituals would they have that suit you? Define it to a T.

2. If you did find this person what would you personally gain from it? Would you suddenly be richer, would you suddenly be happy with humanity, what would it change for you personally?

3. What do you perceive as missing from yourself that only a member of the opposite sex could provide? Sex is an obvious answer but a devout spiritual practitioner would inevitably lose all desire for it is attachment to the Body. So what would that leave you with?

I often find that when we don't define ourselves or our desires we can never truly know when what we've been searching for is right in front of us.

a reply to: EviLCHiMP

I have seriously considered being a hermit for the rest of my life, and I think I posted a thread about that some time ago. I'm 29, have had sex once, have never had a girlfriend. I don't practice a religion. Instead I'm a seeker. I have been considering practicing a religion though. I have been considering trying to find a woman to marry and not a girlfriend, but that would probably make more sense if I practiced a religion. One problem with marrying is that I have absolutely no desire to have children. I do have desire for a woman (sex and company in general) but as I said I have considered being a hermit. One problem with being a hermit is when you get old and all that. Even if my sexual desire would be extinguished I might still want company. Then I have also read some about sexual magic of the kind that Samael Aun Weor teaches. Which Sunni Islam seems to be against. In any case, if I would want to practice sexual magic in the future I would need a woman that would be willing to do that, which might be hard to find.

a reply to: introspectionist

I was about to post my thread in here and thought i'd take a look first...pretty close, but not exactly the same.
I'm not sure where you live, but in Chicago where there are always events, many of which i work, i've found there ARE many women with similar interests, and many men in that "scene" are still just players or generally insincere...i suggest you go to an event of this sort. Take a step back and look around the room at the women. You will see some beautiful and amazing creatures. Now look at the men. You will see some really interesting dudes, and some creeps. This is your competition. It's a really good way to boost your confidence. I'm not saying put yourself on a pedestal, just saying, there is a woman or women out there who would appreciate you for who you are.
For the record, i'm looking for that sex-magic tantra kind of partner myself, and have yet to find her. Maybe. Could be the one asleep in my room right now, not sure. But ya gotta start somewhere.
edit to add:
the second-to-last time i went to my regular dive to look for someone, there were two attractive girls, rather dressed up for a week night, and after some smiles i followed them outside to smoke. when they began talking, i realized i didn't want them in my home, let alone take them to breakfast...i'm not saying i'm a "better" person than them, just different, and didn't want to have to talk about crystals and ufo technology all night. about a week later at the same bar, i met a woman with whom i had may things in common, we had one great night together, and we still occasionally text about esoteric topics.
they're out there, and just like ufo's, you'll never see them unless you start looking up.

a reply to: introspectionist

I have lived with those very doubts myself. I'd be cautious with Samael Aun Woer, his material is fascinating but it can lead one to believe that you may only become enlightened by having sex with another.

If there is anything I'd recommend more it'd be Buddhas Teachings or The Sutras of Patanjali.

I'm only a short while from throwing away my societal attachment and becoming a hermit as well friend. I wish you nothing but the best on your journey

a reply to: introspectionist

I like the questions EvilChimp posted because I think I can see where he was going with them and they are very poignant to the answer you are looking for.
The only thing you can control is you, so you have to just be happy being you. If you were the last human on earth and had everything you needed to survive until the end of your natural life, how would you feel?
Once you start to think that the only way you can be validated is by being with someone else then you will never be truly happy.
But don't close yourself off to humanity as the majority are beautiful kind people, it's your internal dialog that is clouding your outlook. Find the root cause as to why you are unhappy unless you are with someone and change it, it could be that you didn't get enough love and attention as a child or any number of reasons but think about truthfully. Then forgive whoever or whatever caused this problem for you. We should never need anything external to validate our existence.
Once you become happy with yourself people will flock to you. Take care.

a reply to: mclarenmp4

You are absolutely correct my friend, it's actually shocking how spot on you perceived the concept I was communicating. Impressive analysis!

a reply to: EviLCHiMP

Phew.
I don't like to second guess people's thoughts, so I'm glad I got it right.