Im sorry

Mindy, i love you. I know im hard headed, i know im never home. I know i lost you, how about i tell a story, a personal one (please forgive me ive never respected your wishes and im probably obliging the sentiments by telling it, but i got to get it off my chest. I miss home please tell the kids i love them, im just so twisted inside im someone to everyone else but me.

I met her may 2006, I walked up stairs in Rogers house, the gayest homosexual young boy predator, millionaire porn director. To my best friend Chris laying in bed with a beautiful girl, they both covered up. (Chris had been on the streets for sometime and was trying to make ends meet the best way he could, sacrificing his morals.) I forget the events but certainly remember my ride home alone with mindy. I showed her my art and unbenounced to me she was falling in love. Now i was a rather intoxicated fellow at the time, i grew mushrooms and had was having an existential crisis of some kind. 6 months later i met her again this time at chris's apartment, man was she lovely. We talked all night regardless of Chris's concerns. I told her my dreams ( im going to move to the mountains in a log cabin) she listened and agreed. Later i found out she was taking videos of me when i'd hop out of the shower in chris's apartment while she quietly sat on the couch. LOL


Time went on, and just kind of became the three of us did everything. Alot of story missing, it came down too a threesome type situation in a hotel. now i was well beyond tripping i was hearing thoughts and radio frequency's, not to mention i wasnt interested in a shared woman, i prefer a woman to my self. regardless she woke up with my arm around her, when she realized she didnt pull it off. Chris's jelousys showed, it was funny and i never understood it at the time, as liberal as we were he had become increasingly forceful with women and the word had come back to me. Regardless me and MIndy/Min we became like two peas and a pod, we just went together. Well she begged me to an airport one day i wasnt sure how she got my number but for safety reasons i was convinced by her to go lol. She broke up with chris the next day and we were dating however not technically boy friend and girlfriend. She had left some stuff at chris's apartment, she went over there she got raped and told me later that night.


I confronted him over the phone and he confirmed his guilty deed, by saying you cant prove it, going on about mindy and how i need to be careful. I reminded him to be watchful of his personal saftey in life, and i got off the phone. So the time went on the i was pressuring her to take care of this issue legally and she wouldnt however it was a big deal to her esteem and dignity. She had sexual issues with her father when she was young. Eventually after lots of sex and great times starring at each other broke in some random shore town listening to led zeppelin, i felt obligated to deal with this issue. I reasoned i knew where chris worked and lived i had someone else knock, i covered up, beat him up tide him up, took pictures and gave the evidence to Mindy for her personal vengeance and satisfaction. Never herd from chris again, probably the best for everyone.



Time kept marching, i was employed at my fathers company but being young dumb and **** i didnt care. I'd show up to work or not show up at all. Well she was late on her period 3 months. I came home one day gave her a test asked her to pee on it. She was very much pregnant. I got fired the next day by my own dad( he didnt know about the baby or maybe he did and just didnt care and my memory is being biased) So we were in need, i had star spangled eyes. Said babe i'm joining the army i took the asvab and had 110 gt and 70 score, when asked what i wanted to do, i said infantry( family tradition)

After this point in my life i messed everything up, so now here i am employed three children never home i sold my soul. I'm not happy im sombody to anybody but me. Im sorry mindy

i love you

a reply to: TechniXcality

It took guts to put that in a public forum.

It'll take more guts to email it to Mindy, good on you
for realising you cocked up and the best of luck
with your ascent back to normality.

Cody

Welcome to life.

It gets better after awhile.

originally posted by: Snarl
Welcome to life.

It gets better after awhile.

No it doesn't

P

That
is just
a crying shame!

originally posted by: cody599
a reply to: TechniXcality

It took guts to put that in a public forum.

It'll take more guts to email it to Mindy, good on you
for realising you cocked up and the best of luck
with your ascent back to normality.

Cody

Don't just Email it mate...

Go see here... surprise her...

We all bugger up big time once or twice in our lives... best way to learn lessons in life...

GO FOR IT...

May I take my hat off to you for being so courageous in posting your story here.... You have the guts to post here then I am sure that those guts can take you as far as confronting her and telling her how you feel RL.

Good luck.

Kindest respects

Rodinus

Take her a dozen roses and tell her in person .. far better than an email ..

Thank you for the support guys, I gotta stop drinking and get my head back on. I used to feel I had so much potential I see now potential and success is fodder and fools gold when love and decency isnt realized. Im done im going to change today

a reply to: TechniXcality

Hey brother. I feel for you. Similar situation here and I posted about it just this week. Must be something in the air cuz I am NOT one for sharing my feelings.

Anyway, although our girl issues may be different, I'll just say do anything to keep that love alive. You're absolutely right when you say everything else don't mean nothin' if you can't share it with that one other person who means everything to you. We are both lucky in that we found that person. Most don't. Now comes the hard work of keeping her.

I hope it works for you, man, cuz it's not looking good on my end.

Good luck.

originally posted by: TechniXcality
Thank you for the support guys, I gotta stop drinking and get my head back on. I used to feel I had so much potential I see now potential and success is fodder and fools gold when love and decency isnt realized. Im done im going to change today

Stick at it my friend, I was looking at the wrong end of whiskey bottle for 20 years, then I met Rodinus, he talked me into giving up the bottle, ironically during in a drinking session we were having, I haven't looked back since.

That monkey on my shoulder in my avatar is called whiskey for a reason, whenever I think "just one more" I see my avatar and say NO.

It wasn't easy but well worth the effort. Now I'm back to being the lovable rouge I used to be rather than that drunken bum people try to avoid.

Need any support or help feel free to u2u me.

My very best wishes to you

Cody

originally posted by: TechniXcality
Thank you for the support guys, I gotta stop drinking and get my head back on. I used to feel I had so much potential I see now potential and success is fodder and fools gold when love and decency isnt realized. Im done im going to change today

Well if you're drinking a lot old chap, getting that stopped needs to be your priority. If you're not balanced in your own head, it's impossible to be a good stable partner. And it sounds like this Mindy girl of yours needs stability in her life too.

So I'd really strongly encourage you in this stopping drinking business. There's help out there. Embrace it.

Best of luck.