Respond... Or the Rabbit gets it...

Start message :

Official message posted somewhere deep in an unpenetratable lead and concrete lined bunker deep in the French countryside from the official choccy bunny unliberation front :

WARNING EXTREMELY GRAPHIC IMAGE...

It is currently 08:00 am and I have just stepped out of my throne room after a good "think"...

Whilst contemplating how I would eat my breakfast of 2 hard boiled eggs with a runny yellow and how I would have my eggs for lunch too (sunny side up or not), a curious rustling noise followed by a loud bang came from the kitchen area of my bunker where the bunnies are currently chained up...

Upon rushing out of the throne room with my trousers around my knees and tripping over what ressembled a white and ginger feline form rushing out of the room and smacking my head of the coffee table, I witnessed this :



I believe that this rather "unfortunate" incident was caused by this :



My faithfull stinky killer cat from the gateway of hell... (well... erm... every dictator has an evil cat dont they?)

I just do not understand it?... I was trying my best to look as evil as possible but somehow "Unfortunate incidents" like this seem to be happening... first the radiator incident and now the kitten...

Either that or someone has managed to sneak into my bunker in order to discredit me... If this is the case then YOU will await a fate far more undescribable than me biting your ears and bottom off... erm... I meant a radiator falling on your head and a kitten chomping on your posterior..

*Burps and licks lips*... erm... *looks around innocently*

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA....

End of official message posted somewhere deep in an unpenetratable lead and concrete lined bunker deep in the French countryside from the official choccy bunny unliberation front...

Evil respects

Rodinus

End message

I don't know...

Lead/concrete-lined bunker?

Really?

How on earth can anyone grow grapes with lead or concrete in the French countryside?

Again, I defer to the ATS crowd on this one. It makes no sense!

I mean, I drink wine like the best of them, and I've noticed no change in the delectable fruit each night.

I question this veritable enemy...

Well... *sigh*

I lost my mainstream journalist job. Not only did the spurious and false charges from Mr. Rodinus regarding the chocolate that was, admittedly, on my mouth, cause all kinds of mayhem, I discovered something that changed my entire viewpoint on these events, and my bosses couldn't handle the Truth...They did this:



I told them this Truth, and they fired me immediately. Not only that, but some strange men in 1940's black suits, fedoras and carrying NEWSPAPERS of all things, tried to shove me into their black, tinted window car as I was leaving the building with my pitiful box full of stuff... They were very pale and creepy! I snapped a photo with my iphone, but alas...it came out all blurry...



I'm not even sure how I got away, but I've never run faster in my life...I am now located in my own bunker in the middle of "somewhere" after my narrow escape. (It's much nicer than Mr. Rodiuns's Mum's basement, I might add...)

INTRODUCING: "ABBY'S UNDERGROUND - Where You Get the LowDown on the News...

*Ahem* Welcome to my first broadcast!
And now...THE TRUTH

First, the accusations that Mr. Rodinus put forth regarding said chocolate on my lips...that was from my recent analysis of the chocolate bunny ears Destiny sent me...(sorry Destiny...I'll send you some chocolates to make up for it!) It was NOT the hostages... And speaking of the hostages...I have some REVELATIONS regarding them...the TRUTH that got me fired from my lame-stream job...

It Just Got Real, Peeps...

What got me fired? Well, I kept hearing rumors from the conspiracy site that suddenly matched my actual real-life observations. On my world-investigative-journalist jaunt yesterday, I managed to sneak in a few guilty moments checking out if the "crazy tin foil crowd" might actually be on to something...

What I discovered, changed the whole game...

This is a "Chocolate Factory" for Lindt, the name on the foil of Mr. Rodinus's hostages...





The photo you are about to see, is a complete game changer in this "hostage" situation...I would not have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes...



Yes. Those are factory workers who are making bunnies out of chocolate. I know, right? OUT OF CHOCOLATE!!!
The conspiracy folks were RIGHT!!! The bunnies are NOT LIVE bunnies, just chocolate effigies like the ears that Destiny sent me!!!

So, with this information we can only conclude: THERE ARE NO REAL HOSTAGES, JUST CANDY IN A FOIL WRAPPER MADE TO LOOK LIKE A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!!!!

It would seem the "evil" Mr. Rodinus is actually playing us all for fools...and the REAL conspiracy is why the mainstream media was promoting, dare I say fanning the flames, of this potential powder keg of a situation - I beg and plead for people to remain calm, for Bunny Vigilantes to learn the FACTS and for the Peeps to STAND DOWN NOW.


Really people, the ONLY proper response to this:


Enjoy...




And have a Happy, Peaceful Easter... This is AboveBoard signing off from her new bunker "somewhere" in the world. Thus concludes the first episode of "Abby's Underground"... where you can get the lowdown on the news and more...

a reply to: Libertygal
PEEPS!!!!????
second line

So...what happened? Inquiring minds want to know!

Peeps? Honestly, you can keep the peep!

a reply to: AboveBoard

Well...

I suppose this is going to be my last post on this thread as yet again another unfortunate "incident" happened today just before the deadline...

The last 2 unfortunate "accidents" have taken a deep toll on my credibility as a bunny dictator and this last issue has put an end to all my dreams and hopes of being the cruel heartless leader of the Choccy Bunny Unliberation front... "sniff sniff*... darned hayfever...

Anyways... to cut a long story short... having a heart and not able to witness the last bunny pining for its 2 other friends, I only had one option...

I ate it alive at 10:00 o clock with my coffee... boy oh boy did it scream, kick and struggle as I first chomped on its ears first then its bum before nibbling at the rest of its body and finishing off by licking all the chocolat of its tin foil clothes...

Now... where is that massive great humongous Kinder surprise egg that Mrs R has hidden???

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha



I HOPE YOU ALL HAD A GOOD EASTER FOLKS AND THANKS TO YOU ALL WITH MUCH SINCERITY FOR KEEPING THIS THREAD FUN...

Evil but kindest respects

Rodinus

End of official message posted somewhere in a quaint cottage smack bang in the middle of the French countryside next to many amazing vineyards, (too keep rumours at bay)... from the official disbanded choccy bunny unliberation front.