Having Trouble Finding the Lines

I've been into conspiracies, cover-ups and stuff "they" don't want you to know ever since I discovered a couple of JFK assassination books in 5th grade ( somewhat advanced reader..was reading one Stephen King in 6th..). Gimme an assassination, an UFO, secret cabal, David Icke..hell, I ate it all up. But now...30 years later the lines I was once so sure of are blurring.

I'm not saying I don't believe in secrets and cover-ups anymore. I'm just finding it harder and harder to accept that everything is part of One Vast Plot. I'm finding it harder to deal with (hopefully well-meaning) people who get angry, defensive and downright close-minded when presented with facts and evidence contrary to whatever position they hold. Sometimes I just want get in their face and scream "sometimes a cigar is just a freakin' cigar!!" But I don't.

I've often thought of writing a book ( or series) based on my notes and private research..now I wonder if I should even bother. This isn't really a rant - I know from lurking around here for years that if anyone can make sense of my poor muddled brain it's you guys.

Somewhere wishing I still smoked cigars...

reply to post by Cyprian

Find the hook ... and write your book.

You'll surprise yourself with what you know ... and what you don't. 30 years of experience with anything is a rock solid foundation. As long as you've got a fresh approach, you stand to make some good money. Who knows, Skeptic Overlord may give you your own forum, or Springer might set you up an AMA.

reply to post by Cyprian


Don't let this place get you down, it's a very small segment of a much larger whole. The best and brightest are often to busy to be here, so all are left with the rest. I stopped coming here for years due to the opposite reason.
What if you found out by chance it was all true, what would you do with that information? What could you do with that information?
Sometimes things are better left unsaid. I used to curse all the presidents, officials, etc. in this world that were going to push disclosure, now I am strangely sympathetic toward them.

Keep looking, you have nothing to lose now.

Also, some people just can't live in that state of mind, that's why they get angry when presented with certain topics.
It's just there way of dealing with life, not what you are trying to explain. My dad is like this, but his world is so foreign to mine it's like comparing middle ages to 1800's.

I know what you mean. I first got interested in this stuff about 12 years ago during my college years when I knew absolutely everything about everything. I thought I'd become a genius in secret world affairs by watching youtube videos.

There are conspiracies my friend, no doubt. Some are connected, some are random, it really just depends on what you believe.

reply to post by Cyprian


I find part of the truth is hidden in everything....when I was a cop and would investigate crimes even the victims would lie to me. I can't tell you how many people after having their car burglarized told me they had the doors locked...when I later found out they were open.

I find that even in the truth there is a little lie ....always.....

reply to post by Cyprian

But now…30 years later the lines I was once so sure of are blurring.

You aren't alone. I only began driving on the "Internet" a few years ago. I thought that when I finally did come I would be fulfilled with all the evidence that surely would line all its avenues.

That the truth would be like neon signs flashing everywhere you looked. See? Here and here and there.

What I discovered is the road to the truth is as blocked here as it was in the before world of newsprint, TV and radio. Oh there are rumors and rumors of rumors and all the tales I also grew up with are here, run over a thousand times, turned to roadkill.

If it weren't for my own personal experiences I would be filled with doubt about Extraterrestrials and the Paranormal. I would be filled with skepticism about it and even led astray by all the roadblocks and checkpoints along the way to the truth.

Take heart, there are witnesses out there like myself. They know what they saw. Their tale is compelling, if lacking in courtroom forensics. One day you may have such an experience yourself and then you will know, too. Be patient, life is life long and full of but a few said moments. When it happens you will know it, there will be little doubt then.

reply to post by Cyprian


This is all good news, it sounds to me like you have the foundation as Snarl says AND you have a mature perspective from which to measure and evaluate.

To develop objectivity while respecting subjectivity is a good place to be.