Favourite Red Dwarf Quotes, Episodes

Saw a post on Red Dwarf, thought I'd start a thread on favourite episodes and favourite quotes.

My Favourite Episodes is "Backwards" and the one where they hallucinate being in a computer game... "Welcome back to reality" i think its called

Favourite Quotes (from Backwards) Thanksie Veryskie Muchskie Budskie
And the Ace Rimmer episodes "Smoke me a Kipper, I'll be back for breakfast"

Back to Reality is my faviorate episode! And my faviorate quote has to be:
"Smeg".

Queeg is one of my favourites, Holly in his prime.

as for quote...sorry for the long transcript but I love this Holly moment:

Holly: There's a starship following us. They're from the NorWEB Federation.

Lister: What's that?

Holly: NorthWestern Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.

Lister: Me? Why? What for?

Holly: For your crimes against humanity.

Lister: You what?!

Holly: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.

Lister: Did I?

Holly: You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?

Lister: Yeh, they go mouldy.

Holly: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.

Lister: Why NorWEB?

Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.

Lister: A hundred and eighty billion pounds!! You're kidding!

Holly, wearing glasses, nose and moustache: April Fool.

Lister: But it's not April!

Holly: Yeah, I know. But I can't be waiting six months with a red-hot jape like that underneath me hat.

[edit on 17-12-2004 by John Nada]

Rimmer "Its a garbage pod, Its a smegging garbage pod"

I love that show.

Originally posted by John Nada
Queeg is one of my favourites, Holly in his prime.

as for quote...sorry for the long transcript but I love this Holly moment:

Holly: There's a starship following us. They're from the NorWEB Federation.

Lister: What's that?

Holly: NorthWestern Electricity Board. They want you, Dave.

Lister: Me? Why? What for?

Holly: For your crimes against humanity.

Lister: You what?!

Holly: Seems when you left Earth, three million years ago, you left two half-eaten German sausages on a plate in your kitchen.

Lister: Did I?

Holly: You know what happens to sausages left unattended for three million years?

Lister: Yeh, they go mouldy.

Holly: Your sausages, Dave, now cover seven-eighths of the Earth's surface. Also, you left seventeen pounds, fifty pence in your bank account. Thanks to compound interest you now own 98% of all the world's wealth. And because you hoarded it for three million years, nobody's got any money except for you and NorWEB.

Lister: Why NorWEB?

Holly: You left a light on in the bathroom. I've got a final demand here for one hundred and eighty billion pounds.

Lister: A hundred and eighty billion pounds!! You're kidding!

Holly, wearing glasses, nose and moustache: April Fool.

Lister: But it's not April!

Holly: Yeah, I know. But I can't be waiting six months with a red-hot jape like that underneath me hat.

[edit on 17-12-2004 by John Nada]

I was gonna put that one but i saw you had it.

That is so funny.

Congrats on remembering it all!!!

Holly: "We are talking jape of the decade... We are talking April, May, June July and August fool...And the moral of the story is: appreciate what you've got, because basically, I'm fantastic."



Jack

" ow kindly cluck off, before I extract your gibblets, and shove a large seasoned onion between the lips you never kiss with. "
- Rimmer, Stasis Leak

Rimmer: "You don't think there's anything amiss? I'm sitting here wearing a red and white checked gingham dress and army boots and you think that's un-amiss?"
- Rimmer, Quarantine

"You're going to go with one of my plans? Are you nuts? What happens if we all get killed? I'll never hear the last of it."
- Cat, Gunmen of the Apocalypse

Originally posted by shorty
Rimmer "Its a garbage pod, Its a smegging garbage pod"

I love that show.

quay garrrrr

...."and to the cripple and the idiot a son was born..."

The episode when cat and lister descend to the bowels of red dwarf so Lister can convince cat that he is in fact Cloister the Stupid.

Love that show.

Spiderj