Teen Sues Parents for Cash, College Tuition. Does She Have a Case?

WhiteAlice
It's in her signed court documents that the school and a teacher both contacted the Department of Protection and Permanency about Rachel's home life.

She made the complaint just before she sued the parents. Like I said .. no history of complaints.
The school was required to contact social services. The contact in no way means the school confirmed anything.

If these things did not occur, then the judge would've found her guilty of perjury.

Not necessarily. The parents lawyer would have had to make the motion for perjury against the young woman. Then the court would have had to go into a trial about parental abuse to determine if the woman committed perjury. And again ... there is NO EVIDENCE of any abuse. It's just the young woman making the claim just prior to leaving the home (2 days before she turned 18). The judge made the comment about hoping that the family could reconcile. Having the parents sue the young woman for perjury wouldn't be a step in the direction that the judge wanted the proceedings to go.

accepting parental lies

You are projecting your own situation onto this one.

I suppose it's difficult for anybody not to project their own experience into 'social politic' cases since experience is our teacher.

I moved out at 15 because my home life was hell. I worked illegally more than full time on top of going to school and renting a room and pretending everything was normal so I wouldn't be arrested as a minor and dragged back home. So I have some idea of what it's like to be in that sort of situation and that is "assuming" that it's even the case; the timing on this unfortunately gives no credence to the claim.

I currently have a 17 year old daughter. In compensation for my own childhood, I swore that she would grow up always knowing she was loved, she was beautiful, and encouraged to be herself and be creative. As a single mom all her life (her dad lives in another country) it's been difficult for sure, and part of me feels more martyred than anything, but I think it's an honor to raise an intelligent, compassionate, creative, constructive human being. Which I believe she is.

And then she became a teenager, haha.

A friend of mine has been a high school honors teacher for a long time and she wrote me recently and said, about the parent-teacher conferences she's had for eons now:

It's the unfounded anger and resentment parents feel from their children, whom they've given EVERYTHING, that is probably the hardest to swallow. Our nation is raising an extremely entitled bunch of adolescent idiots.

She assures me everything we are going through is completely normal. That really, "wheels and bills" are the only points of leverage once a kid reaches this age. If you retract or don't provide wheels, if you make them pay their own way for what they want and for that matter, get a bloody part-time job and help with the bills, especially in a single-mom household, then maybe having to work, having to be more responsible, having to develop some awareness of the money they feel so entitled to, will teach them something worthwhile.

If you do that, of course, they are sure that they deserve to be coddled and swaddled and it's your duty, and they take great umbrage about it all, as if mysteriously after giving nearly 20 years of your life to their benefit, now you are mysteriously waking up in the morning with the sole intent of making them unhappy.

My kid is currently behaving so unreasonably, never in her life has she been like this, and if I even dare voice an objection to her basically abusing the house, me, my money, and being in general so self-centered "entitled" it's breathtaking, she then basically attacks verbally or indirectly insisting that I am "mean" and "being a b----" and so on. She doesn't claim that I am wrong about her behavior, she claims that "it doesn't matter."

So if I tell her, ok to buy a $20 curtain for her boyfriend when we are going by a store, and give her my card to run in with and I say, "Please try not to spend much babe, ok," and she buys groceries for her boyfriend not us, buys stuff for his room (he's 21, works, lives at home, his parents drive him everywhere, he's not hurting), buys some clothes, a variety of sundries and more, and then my carefully budgeted single-mom paycheck is now suddenly minus a big chunk of money I hadn't planned on missing. Plus I'm sending her texts begging her to hurry up because it's taking forever, I'm sitting in sub-freezing temps in a truck running out of gas trying to stay warm while waiting. I get upset about her inconsiderateness with 15 minutes taking 70 and with giving her a little and her spending a lot. I insist this amounts to theft if you don't clear it with someone first, even if many of the things I would have said yes to if she had merely asked. But she doesn't give me the chance to be kind by asking, she merely steals it basically and then whines, "But I NEEDED stuff!" as if major spending without asking the moment you have your mom's debit card for a few minutes -- and this is not the first time that's happened but I was so shocked I'd thought it was an anomaly! -- is perfectly acceptable.

I have known people with that mentality... they were felons, literally, because they thought stealing something was acceptable if they felt like it was their birthday and they weren't getting presents from anyone.

She insists that it is my duty to ensure she has a long list of things (she sent me an email, lol!), and I genuinely agree with some (like getting her braces now that I have some help with health insurance, I was a contractor most of her life but now am an employee). She says as soon as she's 18 she is leaving and moving to Colorado, new land of stoner-gold, and I owe her a list of things that "if I were a good parent I would provide" so hurry the hell up because there isn't much time before she's gone. She has a big fit about my making appointments for her. So I do, and she is busy or wants to sleep then or whatever and I have to reschedule. The other day I had to take most of a day off work during busy season, a big deal for me. I planned for us to go to her appointments, and have a nice day out, maybe a small lunch and maybe stop by the shoe store for her and in general, it would be good. I almost never see her anymore and I want to spend more time with her. But she never shows up, and I can't find her, and she and her boyfriend both won't answer my texts or calls, and then 24 hours later she comes home and breezily announces that neither of them "noticed" I was texting and calling (and I said why right up front in a text so she'd know). Yes, they noticed. That's just a lame excuse, it was obvious even from her voice and the way she reacted. It's so important to her that these things happen and allegedly I'm a failure as a mother if they don't, but she can't be bothered.

She wants a job. I bought her the clothes she asked for so she'd have something to interview in. I got her online addresses for the places she wants to apply and offered to help with anything written. She knows there's a drug test and I made it very clear that if she's getting high with her boyfriend she's got to utterly stop, and that means no smelling it directly either, for 3 weeks minimum before she can pass it. And that if she fails it, it's not merely that she won't get that job now. She won't get a job there EVER, plus that stuff I'm pretty sure reports to some agencies that sell the info so she may very well not get a job much of anywhere even into the future as a result, either. She says getting a job is important to her, yet she comes home smelling like it's going to be another 3 weeks at least... repeatedly.

She's mad because I can't buy her a vehicle. I offer to try and work out my schedule so I can drive her to a job if she can't get one at the nearby count-them eight places within less-than-1-block she could work at and walk to (we live right off a main street). I will teach her. She has repeatedly refused to go take the test when I've offered to use a rare lunch hour to take her, yet regularly rants it's my fault she doesn't have her permit because ONCE, having given me no warning whatever, she announced she wanted to do it and I had a meeting with my boss and couldn't. I won't let her use my van because it is zero bluebook and I cannot afford to buy another right now if something happens to it, and I've been carless multiple times during her life for long periods and it was horrible, I won't set myself up for that again.

She is the most accident prone person I ever met, it's a standing joke. I can't trust her to open a plastic package without injury, or to remember a shopping list of TWO items for more than 60 seconds, and more than one information stream at a time makes her freeze like a deer or freak out from overload, and if she's emotional (which is common) it's like all linear thought process ceases, so the thought of her behind the wheel of a vehicle scares the crap out of me, and it should scare everyone in town. I'll help her learn and help her get one but gosh I sure hope it's an old tank and has airbags is all I can say.

Anyway, I'm getting an attitude lately. Like why should I put up with her basically abusing my trust, my house, my income, and my person? I think it's because she seems more like an adult now, so I actually do expect her to ACT like one. She'll be 18 in just a few months. She wasn't always like this. She was a much nicer person previously. She spends a lot of nights at her boyfriend's house (16 is the age of consent in the state we live in) and I don't like it and while I've nothing against him personally, he is 21 going on 13, his sole goal in life appears to be "death metal and video games" (which his parents, who house and drive him everywhere still, appear to be encouraging as opposed to any shred of responsibility -- like he works at walmart but won't bother with even the nearby jr. college or votech or anything else). I could throw a hissy fit and insist she be at home (and he not stay with her when she's here), but I feel relationships are important especially at that age, and I have very little leverage; I have to choose my battles wisely.

But I'm losing patience for why I should let anyone victimize me in several ways, let alone the person I've dedicated my whole life to raising. She wastes my grocery money on things she demands but refuses to bother eating, leaves tons of food out on counters, leaves such a huge mess everywhere the house is gross within 24 hours after the housekeeper I can barely afford has left, refuses to clean it up when I get upset and then leaves for two days.

I told her recently that if her actual goal was to make me WANT her to move out because I was sick of her, it was starting to work pretty well. If she had any guilt about leaving mom alone and moving out of state, well, no worries, mom may have to push you at this rate!

Although I can't imagine her suing me, because in part she is a bit socially anxious so not proactive that way, she has certainly moved in a similar "I'm entitled, I'm unhappy, everything in the universe is your fault, and you owe me, so pay up!" mode, that makes me have some sympathy for the parents in this story.

"Wheels and bills" are the only leverage at this age. They wanted her to come home. They quit paying her school likely so that she would come home. She won't come home but she still wants her bills paid.

Although I will probably be a willing doormat for my girl till I die, I tell her that at 18 she will either participate in house expenses majorly, OR have a job AND be in college which if it's online or local JV I will pay for, OR be living elsewhere at which point she is on her own. She was aghast at the thought that I might not buy her a $200 makeup airbrush for her birthday if she had already turned 18 and moved out. I started laughing, that was so absurd -- because that's a life necessity, right, and my tight budget owes it to her -- it was too absurd.

I'm convinced now that some teenagers are just insane. It must be something hormonal that seriously interferes with emotional and brain function. She seems less mature now than when she was vastly younger. She seems like she has huge suppressed rage, yet I've worked my ass off to give her a life that if anything has been so ridiculously easy I have no sense of where her current scathing, patronizing, insulting, vituperous emotion comes from. She not only expects me to continue being the loving parent while she acts like my worst enemy, but if I defend myself she then throws a huge fit about how I am attacking HER. I totally can't win.

Far as I'm concerned when someone is 18 they are responsible for themselves, period. Ideally their parents would be in their life and help them all their lives if they could or needed it. But also ideally they would not treat their parents like crap, you know? Because it's gotta go both ways. And a lot of teens apparently just didn't have the same discipline and stresses in their life, that made me the person I became, where I saw hard work as an opportunity not a threat, where I saw drugs as a distraction not a chronic solace, where I saw school and 2nd jobs as an opportunity. I don't know how to get her from where she is to where I think would be better, but I remember the words in that Linkin Park song Numb, saying "I just want to be more like me and less like you." So, ok. She is not me and that's fine and good...

She is who she is, and underneath all this BS I believe she is a good person and I hope that I did well enough that she will make decisions that will let her survive and thrive, with or without me. But her current behavior is over the top in my view, and so far I have limited myself to an occasional rant, but it's going to turn into something a lot more contentious soon. At 18, I wouldn't want to say my way or the highway because I'm afraid what would happen to her on the highway, if you know what I mean. But letting her behave like this is a horrible lesson she shouldn't be harmed by learning and I shouldn't be harmed by enduring.

I share all this personal stuff I normally wouldn't, because I think the 'real world' of living with an apparently sense-of-entitled nearly 17 year old girl relates to this, and maybe a close-up look at one real case will evidence that sometimes it isn't all the parents. I'm sure I'm part of it somewhere, and I'm sure she's better than she's behaving right now, but most of our issues right now are literally "her behavior" and I can't magic-wand change it. If I had bought her a car and she treated me as bad as that girl did her mom in email I'd take it back too!

Even if the parents were monsters, still at 18 she's on her own. Her parents aren't obliged to pay for her school unless they choose and given how horrible she was to her mother in emails, I'd say the mom isn't scary. I had abusive parents and many people I know did; kids don't treat abusive parents like crap, they are afraid of them or disgusted with them and they go out of their way to NOT talk to them most the time or not about contentious things. It a huge sense of safety that lets a kid actually treat their own mother badly.

reply to post by bigfatfurrytexan


Boyfriend as a condition of support isn't a sign of an overbearing parent. I have a stepdaughter that I cut off after she refused to drop her boyfriend. Harsh? This guy has been feeding her drugs and has reportedly pimped her out. We got her away from him once and she ran back at the first opportunity.

We have decided that keeping her away from our other children was more important than saving her from the choices she repeatedly makes.

reply to post by Dianec


That's my concern as well. Regardless of whether the girl is telling the truth or not, in either case, she would not be in the strongest mental state. To have so many people within the US making some pretty heavy commentary and whatnot would be very intense for anyone, let alone an 18 year old girl. In a way, being publicly flogged by the masses is almost a cruel and unusual punishment. I'd rather err on supporting her and being pragmatic based on my own experiences than be one of those people verbally ripping the girl apart. Overall, I don't even think stories like this should be "in the news". The court of public opinion is brutal and I'm not so sure that the amount that she's receiving is even remotely justified. She is NOT like the kid whose lawyers used the "affluenza" plea--she didn't kill anybody through arrogance and negligence. She is just trying to graduate high school and go to college. It's that simple really.

reply to post by FlyersFan


She filed suit after she was no longer living with her parents. According to the court documents, however, she swore that her own school advised her to not return home and that calls to child services were made before she exited the home.

Of course I am projecting my own experience on this but, based on my own experience, if I had responded to my circumstances the way that she did, my parents would be doing the same things. In fact, they did outright lie publicly and to CPS themselves. Only one of my friends in high school was absolutely certain that my home life was extremely abusive. He witnessed in firsthand when he came to pass food through my window. A good friend of mine went through (and technically still goes through) the same thing. She and I share a common link of having mothers who are narcissistic psychopaths. They are really good at what they do and are intensely controlling. If I ignored the possibility that this girl might be like myself, my sister, or my friend, then I'd be treating her with the same "judge a book by its cover" regard that the three of us went through and survived. I can't do that because I don't know what her home was really like. I'm fully aware that I am on the other side of a closed door and what that means based on my experiences. So wholeheartedly agree, I am projecting because I'd rather be duped than be in the wrong--just in case she is like us.

It's incredibly isolating when people see nice everywhere and don't see the monstrous behavior that is hidden. I attempted suicide at 18 and 24. Landed in the ICU when I was 24 because I was scarily effective and dumb luck was the only thing that saved me. That's what happens when you feel like there is no one out there for you, no one out there that loves or cares for you without having a sword attached to it. I fell down the stairs over a year ago and suffered both neck and brain trauma. My perfect mother screamed at me for my irresponsibility when I told her that my vision was distorting and I probably shouldn't drive her to her plastic surgery appointment. She knew I was uninsurable due to pre-existing conditions. She knew I couldn't afford the MRI, xrays, and EEG that the neurologist ordered. She screamed at me for being an inconvenience because of her plastic surgery appointment. I was told that I could go blind as my sight was deteriorating. She knew that and she screamed at me. But you know, when she did her usual routine of taking me out to lunch, she was snapping pictures of me eating the lunch she bought me and uploaded them to facebook.

That's how those kind of families "function". Up until the last few years, I was entirely alone throughout life because of the way my family is. What changed was that they failed to realize that VOIP exists and people heard them. God bless Skype. Like hell am I going to possibly let another human being feel that way in the oft chance they may be just like me.

This is stupid.

The girl's 18 - she's an adult, and oh yea, how in the world is she supposed to pay for her lawyers? Is she going to put that on her parents too?

lol what a joke. She doesn't have a chance in hell.

reply to post by sled735


I'm pretty sure that photo is of a girl with the same name who has received a ton of hate mail and lives in Florida. The real girl doesn't have a public facebook page.

I agree with much if the sentiment around the tuition costs are the parents responsibility. Pretty low to exert that type of blackmail in order for them to get their way (maybe they taught their daughter better than they realise!). As far as a weekly allowance... The little princess should prove she is serious about being capable of running her life under her own set of rules, be responsible and get a part time job.

That being said very low to use the costs of education as leverage.

reply to post by RedCairo


This is a valid point that needed to be made.

I had abusive parents and many people I know did; kids don't treat abusive parents like crap, they are afraid of them or disgusted with them and they go out of their way to NOT talk to them most the time or not about contentious things. It a huge sense of safety that lets a kid actually treat their own mother badly.

I agree that some teens can be extreme. I had a family member (a single parent), who went through hell with her teen. It took a toll on her - she hasn't been the same since. This kid had all her needs and most of her wants met, and this may have been the problem.

This entitlement thing is quite common now-a-days, regardless of socioeconomic status. I think it comes down to parents (and others) striving to provide every comfort and not allowing the child to experience disequilibrium or hardship (delayed gratification). Once discomfort runs it's course self actualization can take its place. If we ourselves cannot watch our children go through this it can actually cause harm in that our kids get a skewed sense of what achievement is. It isn't hard to go to school when all is paid for. It isn't hard to achieve in grades and extracurricular activities when one is supported and given opportunities. It is much more difficult to achieve when you must search for the resources within yourself. That is where character is built, and entitlement is halted.

I agree with much if the sentiment around the tuition costs are the parents responsibility.

My parents put me in public school, and they couldn't afford college.

Should I sue them? It's kinda late, but you never know...

Nobody owes their already-18, already-moved-out kid $60,000 for tuition to high school, never mind college. That's absurd!

She is not being deprived of school. She is being deprived of expensive private school which was the benefit of having wealthy parents that she told to get stuffed and she will have to attend public school instead.

One of the obvious results of that decision is that if you tell your money source to go boff themselves, you may find yourself without money. Not rocket science but a useful lesson to learn.

As for college, maybe she will have to do well enough in school, or testing, or sports or creativity, or get a freaking job, and work her way through it, like a huge percentage of the rest of the country does.

Alternatively if she's very pretty she can follow her current M.O. -- marry rich, leave him, and expect his alimony to support her the way she wants once she's already gone.

inquisitivenature
I agree with much if the sentiment around the tuition costs are the parents responsibility.

This creature is 18 years old. The parents have no obligation and if she cannot afford tuition for her private school, public school is always an option.

As for college....she better put in some extra hours at the local strip club.

Obviously no abuse going on by the parents

USA Today - Adult Teen Returns to Parents Home to Live With Them

The girl hasn't dropped her law suit against the parents.
I wouldn't have let her in the house until she recanted her 'abuse' accusations and dropped the suit.

reply to post by FlyersFan


She wouldn't have stepped foot back in my house until a formal apology was printed and provided to the media, and also the law suit dropped!!

Bet she takes what she can get, then does a double whammy on them again!!

reply to post by sled735

Agreed. I would have moved and left no forwarding address. A girl like that can't be trusted. She has no trouble telling massive hateful lies about her parents and taking them to court to try to steal their money. I wouldn't put it past her to try to get her inheritance early. I would have taken her out of the will as well. Better safe than sorry.

Chickiepoo lost her lawsuit and decided she didn't want to live with (sponge off) the friends anymore. So she moved back in with her "abusive" parents while still not dropping her college law suit. Yeah ... okay.

Anyone who thinks this girl was abused is dead wrong.
An abused child wouldn't move back into the parents home after turning 18.
She had other options ... living with friends. But it wasn't good enough for her.
She's a spoiled USER.

I'm glad to hear she is back home. The lawsuit needs to fully be dropped though. To keep that open - it makes it look like a set up since the premise they were trying to prove is that she is under their influence, making them financially attached.

What I think happened is Inglesino took a lot of flack for enabling a teen and saw his political career (desired one) going no where fast. I guess he isn't aware that being unethical is the way to get voted in. I'm sure he will have tons of support now, stopping just short of totally destroying his name but just enough to get the attention needed to get his foot in the door. From every word I've heard and read about him (personally and through the media), he is shady and a real kiss butt - or manipulating to all the right people - a user and disingenuous.

I hope she gets her head screwed back on right and amends are genuine. For her sake - they perhaps should make a public statement - eventually, to clear her name and leave a positive lasting impression. A harsh beginning with the court of public opinion so might be worth it when she grows up a bit.

Not only did the parents NOT abuse the girl ...
but there is something strange going on with the girl and her attorney ...

NJ Teen Who Sued Parents Returns Home

In a bizarre twist, Canning’s parents have alleged that the father of the friend she had been lived with — Former Morris County Freeholder John Inglesino — gave her alcohol. In court documents, Canning's father says Inglesino gave Rachel her first taste of alcohol, the New Jersey Star Ledger reports.

"Rachel came home bragging," Sean Canning said in a sworn statement, adding that she consumed wine coolers during a limousine ride in New York on her 15th birthday.

The Inglesino family has "enabled this situation to an absurd level," Sean Canning's statement continued. Inglesino, meanwhile, has said he’s paying Rachel’s legal bills because she’s a “terrific, extremely bright young lady” committed to her future.

The brat falsely accused her parents of molestation and abuse; refuses to recant; is still suing them; and has been underage drinking with her 'attorney' who isn't charging her for his 'services'

People who were on here screaming about the parents being guilty, all the while interjecting their own situations onto this one, need to rethink their positions. This girl is a rotten apple. And the actions of her attorney are highly questionable.

Now the teen has moved back home AND dropped her lawsuit.

OBVIOUSLY SHE WASN"T ABUSED.
And she owes her parents a HUGE apology.

Jersey Teen Drops Lawsuit

If it were my kid, I'd be sleeping with a locked door at night.
And I'd lock up the family silver ....

reply to post by FlyersFan


Same here. I'd be afraid to go to sleep at night!!

I'm thinking she has destroyed any trust the parents could place in her now. She would have to work on building the trust back for many years to come, if I was her parent.

But then, if she were my child, I probably wouldn't allow her back in my house after what she did... at least, not this soon!!

sled735
if she were my child, I probably wouldn't allow her back in my house after what she did...

I couldn't ... I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
Considering the evil that she said to them and what she did to them ...
Even with a lock on the door I'd be too nervous to have her around.