Websites selling affairs. They exist.

I found this on my homepage when I logged on today, and I honestly didn't like the content of it. I just wanted to present the article to the ATS members.

MSNBC article, cheating websites

Since the launch of the Canada-based Ashley Madison website in 2002, which created a sensation with its seductive slogan "Life is short, have an affair," the numbers turning to online infidelity have soared.

I just broke up with my girlfriend of almost 4 years because of cheating on her part. It happened a year prior and I thought I could overlook it. I simply couldn't. I did bad things too, mostly because of it. I don't condone what I did, but I did it for a reason. It was a reaction to her actions.

Its something I would have never done to her, I had the chance before and didn't. The funny thing is she thought I was after her incident.

I could not think about it at times, but I never forgot it. It ruined our relationship.

"My guess, however, is that it has because there are many people who have a yen for sex outside their relationship but wouldn't have the slightest idea about how to do it or do it safely," Schwartz added

This is one of the main parts that really gets me. They think they are doing it safely because its over the web. I don't think cheating can be done safely. You never know what another persons capable of when pushed to this extreme. If they find out, have you just ruined your family? Or worse, have you provoked someone to commit a serious crime, assault/domestic violence/murder. The consequences of such a thing are huge.

It is the worst thing most people could imagine happening (in their personal life) short of their significant others death or their own.

I just find it crazy that people do it in such a manner that it's almost normal to them. They shop for an affair like I shop for clothes on amazon.

Just wanted the community to weigh in on it and be aware such things exist. Sorry if its in the wrong forum.

reply to post by Bundy


Just make a clean break before doing anything, you'd be doing both of you a favor...people unknowingly have an addiction to drama though.

My wife and I will be married thirty years in May. I have been faithful to my wife for fifty years. (I turned fifty in February.)

I made a decision when I was a young man that the woman who took me as a husband would get the whole package, all to herself, no sharing. That was my wedding gift to her, and she has kept it close to her heart. Back in high school, nobody ever dared mock me for being a virgin. I never hid nor was ashamed of the fact. It was a point of honor and integrity to me, and my faithfulness continues to be the same.

We live in an age of faithlessness. Very few know how to keep covenant, and those that do are often mocked for it. People make a business out of covenant breaking. What hope can there be for a society, a culture, or a world where covenant breaking is honored and encouraged, and covenant keeping is mocked?

reply to post by Bundy


its happening everywhere and its the norm now,every social media site is like how can i get you to get me off?those who say i,ve never even thot about it are lying,its sex,sex,sex,no one can say that every 2nd person isn,t looking for it.

From the linked article:

"No one can show me a culture on the planet where infidelity doesn't happen," Biderman told AFP. "Infidelity was always there," he added, noting that conventional dating websites are often "overrun by would-be affair seekers."

Well, no one can show me a culture on the planet where murder or pedofilia don't exist, either. Should we justify murder and pedofilia based on that fact?

reply to post by Bundy


Fun fact: sites commonly accessible to major search engines such as Google and Bing comprise about 19k terabytes of the internet. There's an additional 120k terabytes that you've never heard of and will likely never lay eyes on.

Welcome to the tip of the cyberberg.

reply to post by sparky31

I know and even I thought about it, or else I wouldn't have mentioned I had the opportunity. I just find it to be a horrible act. I don't betray peoples trust, never have and never will. Ive been in some extreme situations and ive never wavered.

@ afterinfinity: Ive been around the internet for a looong time now. This really should not surprise me. I think my own circumstances recently just made it a touching subject. The world just seems so .. I dunno how to put it, bland, unappealing, people are just despicable sometimes.



@ Incoserv: Congratulations on your long and hopefully happy marriage. Its hard to come by these days and should not be taken for granted. I agree with u as well on ur second comment, just because something happens regularly doesn't mean its justified or ok.

reply to post by incoserv


I find that extremely admirable. Seriously. There are few that remain with the moral compass that let's them care who they hurt and how often by going outside of their marriage for a few minutes (a minute) of pleasure.

incoserv
From the linked article:

"No one can show me a culture on the planet where infidelity doesn't happen," Biderman told AFP. "Infidelity was always there," he added, noting that conventional dating websites are often "overrun by would-be affair seekers."

Well, no one can show me a culture on the planet where murder or pedofilia don't exist, either. Should we justify murder and pedofilia based on that fact?

You cannot excuse bad behavior of any time by pointing at other bad behavior.....

You make a great point.

It's one of Howard Sterns sponsors, that is where I have heard it.
I have known it has existed a long time.

It is what it is.

I really don't understand cheating.

If you no longer want to be exclusive with your partner then breakup. Date someone else.

No matter what it's going to hurt, but cheating is just prolonging the pain for everyone.

Ok im probably going to not be on the same page as everyone with this one but here it goes. I personally think that if your spouse cheats on you they should accept all responsibility for anything that happens because of it. I really think that if someone can prove their spouse was cheating it should be legal to hurt or kill them. This has become a pretty serious problem in the US and I don't think anyone would argue against that, I think its because its become normal and acceptable almost. There are basically no consequences for it. I don't think you should go to jail for it, I think you should just be at your lovers mercy. I would show none. lol.

incoserv
My wife and I will be married thirty years in May. I have been faithful to my wife for fifty years. (I turned fifty in February.)

I made a decision when I was a young man that the woman who took me as a husband would get the whole package, all to herself, no sharing. That was my wedding gift to her, and she has kept it close to her heart. Back in high school, nobody ever dared mock me for being a virgin. I never hid nor was ashamed of the fact. It was a point of honor and integrity to me, and my faithfulness continues to be the same.

We live in an age of faithlessness. Very few know how to keep covenant, and those that do are often mocked for it. People make a business out of covenant breaking. What hope can there be for a society, a culture, or a world where covenant breaking is honored and encouraged, and covenant keeping is mocked?

I was married for 17 years with three children, on the same premise as your marriage
however my husband could not keep his part in this, despite the hurt and pain I
walked away, because of his lack of principle and the broken trust.

I was not cloistered or home bound and was in an environment where I had as much,
if not more opportunity to stray. I felt if he was unable to honour his commitment
to me as I had to him .... I was worth more.

I congratulate you on your principles There are not many like you around ....
your wife is a very lucky woman!


Morality appears to be an ever decreasing commodity these days

Bundy
I found this on my homepage when I logged on today, and I honestly didn't like the content of it. I just wanted to present the article to the ATS members.

MSNBC article, cheating websites

Since the launch of the Canada-based Ashley Madison website in 2002, which created a sensation with its seductive slogan "Life is short, have an affair," the numbers turning to online infidelity have soared.

I just broke up with my girlfriend of almost 4 years because of cheating on her part. It happened a year prior and I thought I could overlook it. I simply couldn't. I did bad things too, mostly because of it. I don't condone what I did, but I did it for a reason. It was a reaction to her actions.

Its something I would have never done to her, I had the chance before and didn't. The funny thing is she thought I was after her incident.

I could not think about it at times, but I never forgot it. It ruined our relationship.

"My guess, however, is that it has because there are many people who have a yen for sex outside their relationship but wouldn't have the slightest idea about how to do it or do it safely," Schwartz added

This is one of the main parts that really gets me. They think they are doing it safely because its over the web. I don't think cheating can be done safely. You never know what another persons capable of when pushed to this extreme. If they find out, have you just ruined your family? Or worse, have you provoked someone to commit a serious crime, assault/domestic violence/murder. The consequences of such a thing are huge.

It is the worst thing most people could imagine happening (in their personal life) short of their significant others death or their own.

I just find it crazy that people do it in such a manner that it's almost normal to them. They shop for an affair like I shop for clothes on amazon.

Just wanted the community to weigh in on it and be aware such things exist. Sorry if its in the wrong forum.

edit on 3-3-2014 by Bundy because: (no reason given)

edit on 3-3-2014 by Bundy because: (no reason given)

I'm with you on this. A lot of relationships have suffered and ended since the advent of 'online' sites like that.
Still, it comes down to one's own integrity really, doesn't it?
You can walk into an orgy in progress, it doesn't mean you have to participate in it. You can walk out at any time.

It is the bombardment of messages like this, that seem like an undermining of faithfulness and monogamy on purpose.
It has become a throw away society.

I am a firm believer that 'cheating' starts in the mind, before it ever becomes actual physical cheating. If you are in a partnership, why the hell are you on sites that consist of meeting people anyway?
It doesn't make sense to me.

I don't know why people have come to the conclusion now days, that sex with a partner must become boring after a time, and therefore seek it outside of their partnership. It most certainly does not have to become boring. In fact, who knows 'you' better than the one who has already learned you who are.

I'm sick of Ashley Madison's tuckus to be honest. I'm sick of seeing her bent over ads in my face. Sick of what she stands for.

"Safely."
BS. Safely is... don't cheat. Why is it hard? I don't understand why it's so hard to comprehend. Work out all your perversions and kinky fantasies with your partner. I think most people would be happy to go along with whatever that may be.
Or maybe I'm just a little out of touch.

reply to post by Bundy


I remember when that Holly Madison or whatever it's named, wanted to advertise at the Super Bowl years ago. Caused a big "stir."

If you want to cheat on your partner, LEAVE them. I think it's disgusting that this woman built her life on people who cheat. I know cheating is a moral thing but still, why hurt the person you "supposedly" love by cheating on them? I mean if you really loved them then you wouldn't cheat.

I have known many people who cheated on their spouses and I could never understand how they could sit there and say how much they loved them yet they were diddling someone on the side. My ex years ago had to book hotels for his boss' mistress! Sad thing is it turned out to be his wife's BEST FRIEND! When I found out I was disgusted at him and I could no longer go to their house for parties because I knew what was going on. I could not look her in the eye knowing what i knew. Well karma bit him years later and I smiled BIG. He was a very nice down to earth person until he came into money. Money completely changed him and he thought he could "buy" anyone and for a time he did, til it caught up with him. He lost everything including his wife. She took it all and honestly she deserved it. I will never understand people who cheat. I had an ex cheat on my and he had a literal sex addiction. He needed help. I ended it when I caught him in one too many lies and I had proof. He of course tried to say I was lying and making things up but PROOF doesn't lie! He was just pissed he got caught. lol

If you are unhappy in your relationship grow some balls or whatever and tell the other person before you hurt them and any chance of fixing what is wrong.

mblahnikluver
reply to post by Bundy

 

I remember when that Holly Madison or whatever it's named, wanted to advertise at the Super Bowl years ago. Caused a big "stir."

If you want to cheat on your partner, LEAVE them. I think it's disgusting that this woman built her life on people who cheat. I know cheating is a moral thing but still, why hurt the person you "supposedly" love by cheating on them? I mean if you really loved them then you wouldn't cheat.

I have known many people who cheated on their spouses and I could never understand how they could sit there and say how much they loved them yet they were diddling someone on the side. My ex years ago had to book hotels for his boss' mistress! Sad thing is it turned out to be his wife's BEST FRIEND! When I found out I was disgusted at him and I could no longer go to their house for parties because I knew what was going on. I could not look her in the eye knowing what i knew. Well karma bit him years later and I smiled BIG. He was a very nice down to earth person until he came into money. Money completely changed him and he thought he could "buy" anyone and for a time he did, til it caught up with him. He lost everything including his wife. She took it all and honestly she deserved it. I will never understand people who cheat. I had an ex cheat on my and he had a literal sex addiction. He needed help. I ended it when I caught him in one too many lies and I had proof. He of course tried to say I was lying and making things up but PROOF doesn't lie! He was just pissed he got caught. lol

If you are unhappy in your relationship grow some balls or whatever and tell the other person before you hurt them and any chance of fixing what is wrong.

Damn.

Well, I don't think most people care if they hurt people anymore. It's all about them. Their wants and feelings. I know there are good guys out there. I know there are good women too. I wonder if they've all just gone off grid, and that's why you can't see them anymore.

I love hearing anything from people who have been married longer than twenty years. Now, twenty years of marriage was like 50 years of marriage back then.

Just make a clean break before doing anything, you'd be doing both of you a favor...people unknowingly have an addiction to drama though.

Totally agree. In principle. Though, there are many sexless marriages, and I can kind of get it, if this is the case. I mean, what do you do if you've tried communicating with your spouse, but they just don't seem to have the same need to copulate? I guess you have 3 choices.

1. Cheat, and remain with the spouse. As long as a secret, you get yours, and you're likely going to be a less grumpy guy. But, if it ever comes to light, it's the end.

2. Don't cheat, and just suck it up. I mean, you love the person, and don't want to end things, but that part of it kind of sucks. This is the honorable choice of course.

3. Leave her and move on. Also an honorable choice, but of course, results in the end of the relationship.

Personally, only 2 or 3 would work for me...but I do understand those who would opt for choice 1. I understand it way more than I ever thought I would. I could just never live with myself if I did that to a person, let alone the one I love.