The House of Serenity - HS2023

In this house of serenity, strength in an illusion
Resolve is made of the never-landed
Peace is drawn from rental space
Leased from dreams and second-handed

In this house of serenity, the abstract is high priestess
Her essence bears the fruit of delusion
Her existence lies with dreams and nightmare
Fancilful snowflakes, selected allusions

In this house of serenity, I'm protected by spirits
Though blinded to sight, I imagine existence
On the darkest night, I can conjure up solace
A willful self-deciet for my persistence

*

But the house of serenity is only in my head
Positive thinking seems way overrated
The abstract godform will help them graze
Prayer is another word for sedated

A will to thrive is achieved through action
I can think what I want, but it's all what I do
Negative, positive, cause and effect
No great mysticism to rely on or cling to

Or that's what I say when conditions show favor
Gnostic approach has object impermanence
When stripped of control, I could crawl back to
A house of serenity and wish for deliverance

a reply to: Degradation33

house of serenity

S/F love this!

a reply to: JJproductions

Good to know it doesnt throw people off. And thank you.

The first half has a strange meter. Each paragraph is actually in a long count of 20:8.

The first line taking 8 counts, with the comma intended as a quarter note rest. And three faster paced 4/4 lines.

Like... "in this house of serenity" *pause*.

Second part is more straight-forward.

Lyrical/musical elements don't always translate.

ETA: The choice of calling it a House of Serenity was to incorporate the theme. Almost went with Temple of Serenity, but house seemed more appropriate.

a reply to: Degradation33

Me being a simple limerick kind of guy your complex meter escapes my sense of rhythm. However your use phrasing, use of words and coupling I really enjoyed. Some very creative catch phrases in short sentences.

Peace is drawn from rental space
Leased from dreams and second-handed

This just jumped out and slapped me in the face. Thank you maam may I have another?

a reply to: Degradation33

When I first read it I was like WTF, in a good way! I reread it and it’s very deep!

Thank you for this!

Okay. Good, because that's what it did to my head like really off time signature with repetition in the down count. I didn't know if I pulled it off. I am glad to hear I did.

Thanks.

I listen to too much prog metal.

a reply to: Degradation33


Can we get together and make a Mudvayne style metal song out of it, and I'll add a trigger pad of Jerry Stiller screaming
"Serenity now!"?

Last part optional.

Either way, nice writing.

a reply to: TheValeyard

Lol. Thank you.

Mudvayne was interesting, one of the better of the 1999-2003 bands that didn't annoy me, unlike the many Rap Metal bands all thrown out to ride the popularity wave.

Something I always heard that rings true with the industry.

One of my favorite singers is Amy Lee, but one of my least favorite bands is evanescence. They took a trained opera singer (I think) and forced her beautiful singing and spotlight to be ruined by a freaking hack rapper. Label said the male rapper was the only way they'd sign her. To produce that song.

Bring Me To Life makes me want to bring death to the rapper that ruins the song.

They did that with 90's pop stuff too. Beautiful singing interspersed by some guy yelling or rapping at me. Sigh.

So in the spirit of prog rock and music labels ruining everything...

a reply to: Degradation33

Really enjoyed the cadence, and the complexity of thought.

I will never be able to write in your arena of poetry nor in philosophy.

Really fine work.

a reply to: argentus

Thank you as well.

Philosophy wise, it's the duality of selective divine acknowledgement. Or just making fun of myself.

I'm such a non-believer and logic based person until I'm not anymore. Takes a need for a favorable outcome, when two or more possible outcomes are present, and at least one has a really dark conclusion. Because its something that comes and smacks you on the head, takes you off your cloud, and makes you consider the worst.

"You know what, I'm willing to believe if you make it so the better outcome happens? I'll collect items, I'll bury a bag at the crossroads, I'll work at a soup kitchen! Just make it so it's the better one, please!?"

And then if It works out, I'll forget, "Haha, it worked out because I'm strong and got lucky, totally plausible! ALL ME!"

All in all, it's like a revised footprints poster where you confront your agnostic moment in the sand when you were the same as the dude in the poster.

a reply to: Degradation33

I've got one of these sitting on my desk
next to a pen.

Any time a spirit or whatever feels like signing one it is free to.

a reply to: Degradation33

That was great, very insightful and honest! Lots of lines to make one think..and ponder.

I had no problem with the meter. In fact it read along just right for me.

I write songs so maybe it was natural.

Some of those topics the lines addressed can bring me round in a circle and I like that!

S+F great choice of title as well as topic!

a reply to: midicon

Agree with you 1000%! This is a great work! Made me too think a lot all day!

I will never understand why the manic insomnia ones are always the ones that get the best reception, or are deemed the most profound.

I have to not try to do better with art.

Thanks again everyone.

a reply to: Degradation33

Very good, Degradation33.

I enjoyed the various turn of phrases and the overall profoundness of the lyrics.

It would be interesting to hear it to music as per TheValeyard's suggestion.