Loneliness, how do you deal with it?

reply to post by BO XIAN


Any parent who allows their bedroom antics to be known to their children is inconsiderate and self centered. I do agree that a child is much better off with 2 good parents than 1, but a child is also better off with 1 happy parent than 2 unhappy ones. These situations can not be generalized it is a case by case subject. Humans are individuals.
A single parent may be in the position to have to raise their child without the other parent around for many reasons, they may not be in an ideal situation but they may be giving the child a much better start in life than would of been given with the other party being present.
Yes I think you have some opinions that could be seen as traditionalist (out dated) but they are your opinions and so are right for YOU, as are mine for me and so on.. A report on stats or psychology can not be seen as ultimate truth, as time pushes on & discoveries are made, prior facts become misconceptions and new theories in turn become the current facts.
The only truths are those from within yourself, if it is true for you then it is truth.

There is a school of thought to suggest that the human is not actually a monogamous animal as many other animals also arent, but as I have said I do not subscribe to any official explanation for the human psych on a generalized scale.
So back to my original post- Each to their own. Judgement on somebodies way of life or presuming they have mental health issues to explain the reason that they dont follow your belief of the correct way is unacceptable. Who gave you the moral/spiritual compass on such things?
We NO longer live in an era where one size fits all and we also do not (any longer) have to tow the line and conform to what is the prototype. Hello 2013.
Why should it be presumed that your way of understanding is the right way? My way is the truth for me & his way is the truth for him & so on... NO research can change that.
P.s Thanks for altering my post, maybe ppl might read it now that it is in paragraphs. How shallow of them considering the words are still the same and in the same order, hmm?!?!?!

reply to post by Vviena1606


Pps. A new paragraph should be set by starting the sentence one space along from the margin. This I had done but upon sending it removes this and sets it all from the margin.

reply to post by Vviena1606


What I tend to do, is hit enter after each paragraph has been completed. Although it goes against everything I know about word processing (which admittedly could be tattooed upon the rump of a mosquito without too much difficulty), it works better for this site, and prevents people accusing one of having dumped a "wall of text", which some people have difficulty reading on a screen.

It also makes it easier for folks to quote a particular point so that they can come back to it or respond to it.

Find a hobby you enjoy, join a club that does that hobby. Go from there.

reply to post by TKDRL

well best way to deal loneliness is to read books which gives you knowledge.

How to deal with loneliness..

Well, it can be a tough one, thats for sure.

Long story short, I got a serious illness which limited my ability to go out. In the following years, friends dropped like flies because it was too much effort. At this point, I see 1-2 different people once or so a week and I am not able to drive anywhere because of pain and seizures.

So, after a couple of years, I had to face the facts.

One; Those people still in my life care so much about me, and I them, that it doesnt matter what is between us. We will find a way to spend time together and nothing can stand in the way of that.

Two; Pets help, for the most part. Having a puppy will make you wish for quiet.. but having them in your life can make a huge difference.

Three; Trying to find yourself in the company of another leads to little more than disappointment. Not that it cant be done, but it can be done with more clarity on your own. Then, instead of looking for someone to "complete" you, you simply are looking for someone who can make your time even more joyous.

Four; There is SO MUCH going on around us at any given time. Even just in your own breath or your own heartbeat, or the wind rustling the leaves. Focusing on these things can raise awareness and many other benefits.

Five; There is always someone out there feeling just like you. Use your imagination to connect and spend time with them. Yeah, it sounds silly, but it does help. And who knows, maybe that other person can feel it too.

Really, there is a lot to learn from loneliness. In my case, I had to face the idea that my social status (so to speak) was unlikely to ever change despite my young(er) age. I am unable to go out and meet people, and it is unlikely that someone new to my life would want to take on any of the baggage. Finding a woman to spend my life with is even more unlikely than finding just a new friend. Its a competitive field, and my body is broken.

But, and this was the hard part for me, that's ok. Its easy to get caught up in the grass always being greener on the other side, but thats not always the case. There are pros and cons to these situations, and they seem to balance out in a lot of ways. Even though I will probably never have children either, I can still leave my legacy to the world in my work. I can still "accomplish" the same cultural goals that have been instilled into me, but I might have to take a different avenue.

And that leads to the biggest question I eventually asked myself; "What is keeping me back from accomplishing those things, other than my thinking that they *require* social norms to be carried out?" I think you just have to be a bit more creative in the way you leave your "legacy" in the world. I want my existence to benefit others, even if its people who otherwise would want nothing to do with me. This is typically done through how we teach our children, and the impacts they will make. But I really do believe we can accomplish that same goal even if it doesnt fulfill that primal need to continue our bloodline. And for just friends, I guess I consider the people in my life special enough that I am fulfilled in that arena.

In the end, it was all just a matter of choosing how I wanted to look at it. I changed my perspective, and my situation stayed the same but the way I handled it changed. It was simple, but not easy, like so many things in life.

Sorry, I kinda let the thread get away on me. Didn't want to butt in on my own thread lol.

For now I am back to training for war, and working on my art, and working on a new moneymaking thing. Gonna try selling some of my 3D projects, going to have to adapt some workflow stuff. Worth a shot, a few more bucks a month would help a lot. Maybe it will go well and it will be better than just a few extra bucks a month.

Pet is not really gonna happen. I would love a cat, can't afford to feed one, can't really bear having another one die on me.

TKDRL
For now I am back to training for war, and working on my art, and working on a new moneymaking thing. Gonna try selling some of my 3D projects, going to have to adapt some workflow stuff. Worth a shot, a few more bucks a month would help a lot. Maybe it will go well and it will be better than just a few extra bucks a month.

There ya go. I think there are ways to lead a completely fulfilling life without the restrictions so deeply embedded into our culture. Perhaps you will even stumble across something which can change millions of lives for the better.

Pet is not really gonna happen. I would love a cat, can't afford to feed one, can't really bear having another one die on me.

Yeah, thats the tough part and its also what makes life so special. We will all meet the same fate and time is fleeting. What you choose to do with that time will make all the difference in the world when you are in a position to look back on it, at the end.