PTSD nightmares

Ok...ive been diagnosed with PTSD, schizophrenia, psychosis, type A cluster personality disorder, and narcissistic anti-social personality disorder....

i think i was diagnosed with these as a cover for a group of people trying to antagonize me until i do something nuts...(which i wont btw)...so they can get me out of the picture, to take over the raising of my babies. As well as covering thier own tracks...as they feel i am a liability.

they tried to medicate me...halidol, resperidol, trazadone, benzo something or the other, and various other pills made up the cocktail that blinded and almost killed me. (my eyesight is better now.)

I have had nightmares...if thats what you want to call them,...for years...and years...there is a plant that when ingested keeps the dreams...sleep paralysis..whatever they are..away, but that plant is not allways available.

These nightmares are terribly frightening..and very real...the last two i had were the same theme....being antagonized by the current boyfriend of an x. Two different dreams about two different x's. In both dreams i was taunted by these men...its almost like if i would have attacked them in my dreams then i would be unfit as a human being...both instances i passed...not because im a good guy, but because i dont like to hurt folks,,,so i dont...not even in my dreams.

I wish i had the courage in my dreams to beat these guys severely about the head and shoulders...but nope..i become frightened and freeze..even as they are taunting me. Just like in school. I tried to stand up to bullies..

Sometimes the dreams are of...fear, no images, no theme, just terror. I freeze in my bed, screaming , trying to bring myself out...usually it works, but it wakes the whole house up, and makes it where no one wants to be around me, scares evrybody iguess. It has caused and continues to cause me so much pain. I dont expect any magic advice...you guys are super smart , but i dont expect any lifechanging remedy..i got a dog..Bingo...he helps...hugs and stuff. Im trying very hard to be normal so i can be in my kids life...but the longer time i go without....the worse the dreams become..i have experimented long periods without the natural relaxant...and verified the validity of my theory.

The accusations that i somehow caused this condition fly around like glowflies at a landfill... I will never give up...just wanted to know if anyone else out there deals with similar things...maybe youll share...bye for now.

hi. how old are you, if you don't mind me asking.

reply to post by undo


Treinta y siete...o my bad..im 37 years old

You need help before you frighten your kids & push them away, even worse you could make them as paranoid as you, which isn't a good thing.

Ok...ive been diagnosed with PTSD, schizophrenia, psychosis, type A cluster personality disorder, and narcissistic anti-social personality disorder....

i think i was diagnosed with these as a cover for a group of people trying to antagonize me until i do something nuts...(which i wont btw)...so they can get me out of the picture, to take over the raising of my babies. As well as covering thier own tracks...as they feel i am a liability.

I think you have been diagnosed with these because you actually are suffering from them, you need to start listening and stop thinking people are out to get you.

This is a frightening post, I could elaborate more on why I think that but I'll show you respect by been subtle, many others wont so expect some harsh comments.

reply to post by n00bUK


See..this is exactly what im talking about! Gaslighting at its very finest...I think you need help. Go somewhere else with your feeble attempts....Begone ye!

reply to post by sikko45


take over raising of babies? how old are they? do you have any affiliations or ties to a cult?

n00bUK


This is a frightening post, I could elaborate more on why I think that but I'll show you respect by been subtle, many others wont so expect some harsh comments.

perfect example..u do me a great service...thank you for showing the world exactly how its done. KUDOS.

your quote i posted here is actually a subversive threat...like i said you do me and the others out here a great service.

reply to post by AthlonSavage


I am not affiliated with anything...I roll alone for the most part. Im an American, a father, a brother and a son...what are you? And how old are YOUR children?

reply to post by sikko45


im a poster in Ats

AthlonSavage
reply to post by sikko45

 

im a poster in Ats

Well its a pleasure..looking forward to more...ummmmm...interaction? with 'you' hahahah

reply to post by sikko45


Why do you think they are doing what they are doing? What lead them to you in the first place, and what does the mother of your children think?

If any of these questions cause discomfort I apologise in advance.

reply to post by siriussam


no discomfort here...well besides the obvious...i think they want me to do something crazy..like i said...it would be enough of a diversion to hide what they have done....but they picked the wrong dummy...im far too stupid to fall for thier goading...too dumb to trick..if that makes any sense.

nice chaukra avatar btw.



What led them to me in the first place? Thats WAAYYY above top secret...hahahahah

reply to post by sikko45


Sounds like you had a tough upbringing. Who are they? you mentioned it twice, in the dreams and the ones that medicated you. Why do you think 'they' are against you?

reply to post by DeadSnow


honestly...racists. other than that im not sure...my upbringing was fine...and to answer another poster...the mother of my kids is elbow deep in it.

reply to post by sikko45


Racists from? Where? and how often do you see them?

reply to post by sikko45


Like you, I suffer from PTSD and mild angst/paranoia thanks to my experiences overseas. I too have some disabilitating nightmares.

I'm not able to cope with it, sending me further and further into my own mental distress. I wish I had some kind of answer, for both of us. However, I just wanted to stop by and say that you're not alone.

Stay strong and focus on your kids. Try to keep the distinction between reality and your mental issues separate. I'm trying my hardest to do so, but it doesn't help much when the feeling is the same even if it is just in "your head".

reply to post by DeadSnow


i think you may be barking up the wrong tree with these questions...im niether homicidal or suicidal....creative? maybe. Paranoid? Definitely. I guess none of it really matters...im horribly out numbered, out financed, and out smarted...all i seem to do is wait for the next injury.

Somehow ATS attracts people with mental illnesses. At least you do confess having them!

Anyway.

You are diagnosed, you accepted the diagnosis. Right?

You have prescriptions for medicaments which you don't want to take. Right?

You are using "natural" medicine, and we all know what you are talking about but we can't write about it, as its against T&C, which is in itself a wise decision by the mods. Using "natural" medicine, right?

You think that there are people working against you, too numberous to count, and your exwife is in it. Right?


See, there is the problem: You do have mental illnesses. There is literally NOTHING we here on this board could do about it! Sorry.

reply to post by ManFromEurope


yea...Im not asking anyone to do anything...would never do that...so your telling me that by my posts alone you can tell im mentally ill? Funny. Doctor manfromeurope..hahahah. And of course i accept whatever the guys in the nice white coats tell me...ha. Already told you about the meds i was given and thier effect..did that sound fun to you...let me tell you something...it wasnt. Any other gaslighting attempts?

Ill be here all day...

Try again

I would think about having a hot chocolate and maybe a hot bubblebath before bed.

Make sure that your evening stimulation is non triggering or avoid adrenaline pumping sort of shows.

Try to have an uncluttered environment as clutter can overtire the mind.

Do easy-on-the-brain things you enjoy in the evening to lower your adrenaline before you drop off.

Keep news input and conspiracy forums to 5 days a week max.

Take the meds and see how you feel after 6 months, any thing before that is too early to say. At least give them a chance to work.

Avoid rich foods before bed.

Ask your psyche if it is safe for you to try lucid dreaming? Maybe this can help you regain control over nightmares.

Write a very stern hateful letter to the two men from the nightmares and shread it along with their power.

Try to fall asleep thinking of or reenacting your favorite dreams.

Hope this helps.