My Child threatened on bus today (Gun Violence)

Originally posted by TKDRL
reply to post by TorqueyThePig

 

I just don't want kids to be prematurely branded with the criminal or psycho scarlet letter. Both are a royal pain in the ass to overcome.

I'm keenly aware of the systemic horrors and challenges to overcome. Lots of sympathy for what you say on both scores.

However, while I think it is reasonable to consider going to the parents . . . I'd check on them first.

It is HIGHLY DOUBTFUL that parents WHICH WOULD PRODUCE SUCH A CHILD

would be the LEAST BIT helpful in dealing with said child.

But let's say she went and it was a dead end or worse . . .

WHAT ELSE can she do, in your view?

Originally posted by antar
reply to post by Afterthought

 

I think the bus driver if nothing else should be carrying it.

Perhaps so. Certainly it's an issue to ask for an answer from the authorities on.

WHAT ON EARTH can the kids on that bus do--regardless of whether your daughter is one of them or not!

Sigh.

Thanks for your kind reply.

Originally posted by TKDRL
Ok, I will try a different approach then. Name one positive thing, that can come from an 11 year old being branded as a criminal or psychopath? Would you like it if your kid was treated as such? Would you rather you were contacted first, and given a chance to handle it yourself, before your kid was branded with a scarlet letter?

@TorqueyThePig fair enough. I concede to painting with a broad brush. Maybe you are a good one. Good luck expelling the scummy cops and cleaning up the general image of police. Depending on who you ask, I am a psychotic criminal

Don't matter if the case was dismissed

edit on Thu, 31 Jan 2013 19:33:09 -0600 by TKDRL because: (no reason given)

I really can't believe in this day and age that you would advocate not calling the police. At the very least they need to make sure he does not have a gun. Threatening murder is not something to be taken lightly.

There is no point for you to reply to me or this thread. we all know where you stand and thankfully most disagree with you.

Lets not forget that children mature at different rates. An 11-12 yr old would almost certainly know right from wrong , Joan of arc was only 14 when she started her violent revolt. Tell the police , tell the school and don't let your child back to school until something is done. At the very least the child may need help and this could be some twisted plea for help.
Your daughters life was threatened! Think about it!

I imagine Antar will read the thread and do the right thing.... Enough advice indicates calling the police from solid people with the background to know on giving the advice.

Threats in this period of time especially, I think, need to be taken seriously.

The issue of copycatting is a real one and no one can know the other kid's history or background. Maybe he's been around guns . . . or not. Some kids who never should be, are introduced to them too young. To stay within T&C I'll also add but leave it with saying a lot of bad stuff and influences go around schools and ages are staggeringly young for that garbage these days. Much of that I know is around where I live now. it's been a sad thing to see a once quiet and peaceful little city turn like what I knew So. California as 25 years ago. There is no telling the frame of mind of the kid though.. Or why it got that way.

I'd leave it with this thought. I'm sure this isn't happening directly around any of us, but what if it were? ATS has many thousands of members and they're all over. Many in the same areas and never even knowing about it. So what if this happened to be where you live, anyone here as a parent? Wouldn't you want it taken seriously, just in case, when those are the stakes?

I know I absolutely would. That's as honest an answer as I can give for my feelings.. It's a bad spot all around but the other kid is the one who needs to explain how that bad spot came to be. He made it and no one else, IMO.

reply to post by TKDRL


A kid who needs to be taught a lesson. A kid like that has an attitude problem, his biggest outlet is the one between his lips. Needs a real shell-shocker of an experience to show him, "Hey, you run your mouth and we're gonna take you seriously."

After all, if he doesn't mean it, then why would he say it? Oh, it was a joke! I see...well, let me show you some photos of shooting victims and see if you think it's funny.

I had something like this happen to me back when I was going through grade school. I have an older brother, 3 years older, and a kid in his grade told him the same thing, that he was going to bring a gun to school and shoot people, starting with my brother if he told anyone.

My parents contacted the school and I believe the kid was put on "in-school" suspension for awhile. Which basically meant someone was supposed to be watching him during the school day...like an asst. principal in his office or something. Pretty sure if he -really- wanted to do something, he still could have though. Regardless, I remember my parents deciding that since there was only a couple weeks left of school till summer, they just kept us out and had us do our homework at home, and they took it in later. Was a nice little vacation.

Either way, the FIRST priority for me if it were my child would be to figure out what's going to be done about the kid. You don't want blowback coming down on your daughter. That's for sure.

Torq is right call the cops, remember he made a threat saying he knows where she lives. I know you gotten wrapped up that you kid is in danger, but when someone say they know where you live that puts everyone in that household in danger now.

There are something you should do be for you make the call.

1. Get your kid a cheap cell phone if she does not already have one. Make sure she has it with her at all times. I know some schools don’t let them have them, so hid it in her backpack and make sure she knows to keep it near her (near is within 5’ or five quick steps).

2. If you send her to school, make sure she has an exit rout. Look at a school map check where her classrooms are and make sure she know all the exits. Once she knows that, find a spot on the school grounds that she can hide once she’s out of the building. This location should be near the edge of the school grounds and give her the best chance to hide, till help comes in. It should also have a clear view of the main entrance to the school grounds; since this will most likely be the entrance any help would uses.

3. Ok now to the S.O.S. if some reason all hell breaks loose , tell her to use the cell phone and call you, not 911 the moment shots are fired there should be others calling 911 for the school. (note be sure to turn the number pads sound off) Now tell her to call you 3 times and hang up after it rings twice, do this really quick one right after another. Tell her even if you pick up after the seconded or third ring to hang up and dial again. This is an SOS call it lets you know all has gone wrong. At this time you can call 911 if you wish and report she’s in danger. She should be busy trying to hide and get to safety, as said in number two.

4. Once she gets to a safe spot and there is no danger around her then she can call and talk to you. But until help is there she should stay hidden. If she feels she might have been spotted tell her to hang up and find a new spot. Wash repeat number two as needed. Her being on the phone will hinder her ability to spot danger coming as she moving to a new hiding spot, you don’t need to increase her physical risk for your mental peace.

5. If the police get there be for you do, tell her stay hidden till the cop get out of his or her car. If the cop has his or her gun drawn stay hidden, wait till another cop car gets there. The police that are responding already have their hands full. When the backup comes in. That should be the time for her to call to them for help. Tell her to wave her hands over her head with her fingers spread out and palms facing the police, while calling for help. Remember the police might not have a clue who the attacker is yet and you don’t want them seeing her as a danger.

Ok that’s the basics, at least off the top of my head. I have four kids myself so I know how you feel, and yes most of them know what I just posted above. The youngest does not, but she has yet to start crawling.
There is a lot more to it, but it would take me the better part of a week to type it all out.

that lil punk isn't going to do $hit.
He is a sad little boy. He just needs a friend, and I'm sure all of this will end.

reply to post by antar


Here's a true story:

My sister's daughter Marie is 5 years old, very sweet and charming, but at the same time a bit of a tom-boy. One morning, a couple of months ago, my sister got an emotional call from her daughter's school-bus-driver. He explained that Marie always took off her shoes on the bus, holding all the other kids up on arrival at school because they would have to wait for her to put her shoes back on. And that he had repeatedly, without success, tried to discipline her about not taking off her shoes on the bus. On this morning, he was a bit tired of it and told Marie that if she took off her shoes on the bus one more time, he would have a talk with her parents.

Marie's reaction: "If you tell my parents about this, then I will tell them you do dirty things to me!"

Needless to say, Marie is my favorite niece.

OP, I'm only trying to point out that kids pick things up and often experiment with power-trips. They do this to test their boundaries and build their confidence. Some kids aren't very tactful going about it, and will need some guidance, but that doesn't mean they're psychopaths. I have 3 sons and I've often been touched by the way they experiment with power.

I would have a friendly talk with the parents and go from there. This kid is 13 and probably just going through puberty. He's not ready for cops. If he was 16 or 17, it would be a different story.

soulwaxer

Originally posted by xedocodex
You can't just expect the school to deal with it, you have the information, call the police.

I don't understand why you seem so hesitant to call them.

Cops aren't always the most pleasant people to deal with, especially American ones; many people prefer to seek alternative routes before turning to the police.

While this is fresh in my mind I will attempt to document the conversation at the school this morning.

Talked with the elementary principal, asked what had been done about this threat and she said that the child was called in to the office but no disciplinary action was taken further as it seemed to be an isolated incident provoked by the 3 older girls on the bus who he did admit to threatening. ( My daughter was not part of the group he threatened other than to tell her that if she told, he would also kill her.)

She did admit that this child is not a stranger to being called in to her office but would not go into that any further.

Without giving away privacy, we did discuss the safe school initiative and taking these kinds of threats serious but without going over board. She said that young children will often spout off at the mouth and say things that before all the recent rash of school shootings would be taken without too much serious follow up attention.

She was unaware of the fact he had told my daughter that 'he knew people, that could carry this out for him if he wanted' which to me is a huge eye opener, did he mean his parents at home or other students?

It was pretty much uneventful, and so where it stands right now is that the principal will pull the tapes and even audio from the bus and validate whether or not the child did the neck slitting motion and try to discern what was said through the audio and voice fluctuation whatever that means.

One interesting thing to note is that when we talked about the principal keeping gun in the office under lock and key, the thing that stands in the way of that is their insurance company! There is a big debate about what would or would not be covered if something goes down!

I told her that I would use all my resources to come after the insurance company if something happens at the school and that they stood in the way of protecting the children!

Anyway, have to make a fresh pot of coffee, this was not all but need to warm up and get a drink.

Oh and I did insist that the child be talked to by the school counselor. And that a follow up by DFS to check out the home environment might not be out of line either.

reply to post by ElijahWan


Thats the tricky part, keeping the blow back off my daughter if this kid is seriously psychotic.

reply to post by antar


Good update. Sounds like the principal is pretty decent at that school.

Originally posted by antar
She was unaware of the fact he had told my daughter that 'he knew people, that could carry this out for him if he wanted' which to me is a huge eye opener, did he mean his parents at home or other students?

Maybe you are taking this a bit far in your own mind?

He's a kid... kids say stuff. How the hell would a 13-year-old kid have 'people' to carry out murder for him???

Don't let the media brainwash you. Your child is not going to be murdered.

Don't live your life out of fear, but love. You will reap what you sow...

soulwaxer

So your step-daughter receives a death threat, and you're going to take her to school ? Am I missing something here?

If I were you, It would be "Bring your kid to work" day.

reply to post by soulwaxer


I think I did a pretty good job at keeping it real but at the same time raised some concern over how to proceed in a follow up on this.

The principal said that at one time it was acceptable for kids to jokingly say things to each other in jest but those days are pretty much awash now and kids have to be more contentious in the things they say even in play.

Now my daughter just called and was shocked that the kid was still in school and not suspended for the threats, I assured her that she is safe, that the school, our community is doing everything possible to make sure that this boy is being monitored for the time being.

I honestly did not feel like she was being taken as as seriously as she felt the threats to be, but will wait to follow up with the school after they have time to check out the audio/video feeds from the bus.

I do not want to create a witch hunt for school shooters, that is certain, and I do understand children and how they can sometimes say things out of line, but this just feels different, I do think that this child needs to be listened to by professionals and assessed by them as a potential threat.

reply to post by antar


The school won't do any major action till something happens, or the have evidence of intent. Namely that video on the bus.