My Grandpa passed on Christmas night

reply to post by stupid girl


Oh, I am so filled with love right now, words could never express what you have shared with me in this hour of sorrow, so right, so true. It was hard to read through the tears but the sobs made my head bow.

Thank you.

I have such love for all the well wishes and comments here, being a loner at times like these can be really hard and I appreciate your support more than words can say. To my extended ATS family, you are all worth your weight in gold. Life is so precious and we are all so blessed.

reply to post by antar


What a lucky man your grandpa was' he left this world knowing he was loved and would be missed and did not die alone.

I feel your pain op. My father died on christmas when I was 13. Dont let this time change your ideas of christmas though. I battled with that for a long time, but came to the conclusion death is part of life whether we find it timely or not. Continue to be strong with and for the family you have now!

My deepest condolences.
The loss of such a beautiful loved one is so very hard.
Bless you for having the strength to fight for his wishes and giving him peace.

My grandmother, very close to my heart and very distant by miles, passed away 2 days after my first son was born.I was physically unable to see her before she joined Grampa. I spoke with her on the phone hours before she passed and she promised me that she would see me and my baby. Within 3 hours of her passing I was nursing a 3 day old newborn in a dark room, when my sons head lifted up and turned and focused he cooed and I knew she had kept her promise.( for those of you not parents, newborns just don't do that)

I have always been hesitant to post the following because it will identify me to anyone local, but here goes.
The year my second, and last child was born turned into chaos. So many crazy things happened leading up to his birth that we were already in full stress mode as a family. My initial midwife scheduled an induction (against my wishes) and then sent me home because it wasn't going to happen during her work hours. We had words and never saw each other again, I met the midwife who delivered my son the day after his due date.

The day he was coming home from the hospital my in-laws wanted to come visit from out of town, I asked my husband if we could have a week of peace at home first and he conveyed my wishes. They weren't thrilled but respected us and waited. We had a tiny house with no room, so we helped arrange a place for them to stay with a family friend. They came and spent a wonderful day and a half with me and my boys. That friday night it was getting late and I decided to take a shower. They left for the night while I was in there, I never got say bye.
At around 10 pm my father in law came all the way back to our house from town just to return a toy that my older son had left in their car earlier in the day. I still don't know why, but he and my husband had a really nice conversation late at night in our driveway. I stayed in bed feeding the baby.
The next day dawned beautiful and snowy, really snowy, to the tune of 2 or 3 feet and wet.
They were set to return to our house that late morning after attending to some other business in the area. As the hours rolled by, my husband was outside shoveling snow, he came in and commented on the peace, and then asked if his parents had called. We had tried several times with no luck through the day to contact them. At about 2 that afternoon we had a knock on the door, and there was a trooper standing there.
He sat with my husband at the table, I was 3 feet away with my back to them feeding a baby. All I heard were the words mom and accident and my heart sank.It was so much worse than I thought.

At about 10 o'clock that morning they were entering the highway, when a semi truck with no trailer lost control on the curve. Nobody had time to react, my father in law was killed instantly.we lost them both. I didn't even know until the medical examiners report came out that my mother in law was alive in the hospital 10 minutes away from our house for another few hours, but we were not contacted until she was gone. We should have been there with her.


We gained and lost so much in those weeks, I was taking care of a newborn and cleaning out their home, and trying my damndest to be there for my older son and husband. And failed miserably.

I love my children more than anything, but we lost so much each time we brought life into this world, that we have decided not to take anymore chances.

Take advantage of all moments with the people you love, you truly never know when the words you speak to them will be the last.

Edit to add: As soon as I hit post and looked up,I see it is snowing the way it was the day they died

reply to post by antar


I wrote this last night and had a good cry. I'm not a big crier, so when I do, I always feel like a huge burden has been lifted that I've unconsciously been carrying around. Funnily enough, I was actually reminded of this thread before I went to bed and considered the possibility of posting what I wrote on here. I thought it best to sleep on it, and if I still remembered in the morning, to go ahead and share it with you.


I need you.
I know you are in a place where you can see the end of all trials working themselves out in the golden refinement of ultimate glory.
But I am still in the midst of the kiln, and its searing heat drowns out everything else.
I am trapped in each moment, unable to see the next before me.
I look to you for what to do, but you're not here anymore.
You are in the Forever Place.
I am reminded that you had to look to someone too.
And He is always here.
And He carries us through the kiln, and is the salve for our wounds.
But I still miss your voice and your hands and your soft, tired, pale blue eyes.
I am sorry for all the years I took your wisdom for granted.
But I am thankful that I can now appreciate the wisdom you shared with me.

reply to post by stupid girl


Oh that is so profound. It was from someplace beyond this understanding, thank you falls short of my appreciation. It really spoke to me.

reply to post by woodsmom


Wow, just amazing and graceful wow. Forgive me for not coming back into this thread, but tonight (with the snow falling down) I miss my Grandpa, so decided to re read this thread. Your story is beyond earthly reminders of the power in love.

Blessings for sharing your life.

reply to post by stupid girl


Just a gentle reminder of something you shared with me when I needed comfort, understanding, now back at you as we are all in need of peace, compassion and understanding and there seems to never be enough love being shared.

reply to post by antar


No forgiveness necessary Antar. It was cleansing to record the events of that day, as well as the rest. Now with another year of healing I'm able to look at it with more peace. We just never know when or why, and sometimes need to be reminded to slow down and enjoy each other. We never stop missing them, the harsh pain fades though.